I Don't Understand

I’ve been watching my TV and reading my newspapers about all of the excitement in the Catholic Church. Much of the language used in the church is beyond me and much of the formality forces me to ask questions. I wonder if; most of the people wearing robes and skullcaps ever truly speak to God. If they receive answers from Him? And, if they receive those answers, do they truly believe them as His will? Why do some many, deemed authorities in the church, have to form a conclave that has to be held behind locked doors and then have to vote on the next pope? If they talk to God and receive answers aren’t those answers God’s will? Isn’t this vote thing a man thing? Why is there a need for black or white smoke? My God makes a decision only once, it is His will. When he answers a question, it is answered only once, with never a change in God’s mind. So, why is more than one vote needed? God is not going to give different answers to dozens of people asking the same question. If, they are all listening to the same God. God’s will has no need for vote from mortals. I get many of my answers from my God when my hands are dirty, when I’m working and in work cloths. I can’t recall him answering any of my questions while I’m locked in a room, unless it’s my bathroom. It really makes me wonder if; in many instances man has been trying to overpower God with man’s importance. And, by making so much noise of his own that he can’t really hear God’s words? Is that why organized religions needs to vote? Is most of it nothing more than that black and white smoke? Man can never be God the creator of all things, no matter what he wears or is called. Under all the robes, titles, and crowns man is still nothing more than man. No matter what title we bestow on ourselves, we’re still only a grain of sand on the beach. That is my reason for my lack of understanding. For me; my God is my friend, my companion, and never something to fear. And, certainly not a lot of pomp and circumstance! I guess I’m too common to understand all of formal stuff. For years I had the feeling that many religious “authorities” had a special doorway with God, but after watching this performance and concluding that maybe they are all mortals just like all the rest of us. It makes me proud that I have the relationship with my God that I have.