Someone Else

If you always expect someone else to do all of your thinking, what will you do if all of a sudden you wake up and find them gone? If you always think it is someone else’s responsibility to cure all of your troubles, maybe the time has come for you to rethink your life, because there is a chance that suddenly you may find that you have used up all of your someone elses! The only someone still standing is YOU!
It’s called responsibility, and it could be, that finger is pointed straight at you! And, if you are not prepared, you may feel all the world is suddenly laid on your shoulders.
I’ve found that many older folks find themselves lost when their loved ones die. Time after time I hear them ask “Why not me Lord? Why not me?” If God wanted both He could have taken both! If He wanted you He would have taken you! Remember you prayed for His Will to be done. I’m sure that God didn’t stop YOUR blessings because of your loss. Accept His Will and go on with your life.
That word LIFE, although made up of just four letters, must be broken and viewed into many parts. We must prepare, except responsibility, set goals, also we must realize that unexpected often arrives at the most inopportune times. But, it is never totally unexpected if you prepare for it in advance.
You often hear folks say; why should I worry about them? Someone else will take care of them! In today’s world I’m finding the world is running short on those someone elses and long on the thems! You may find yourself being that someone that they pushed the responsibility on to.
How many times have you said; that could never happen to me? And then, today it is happening! Don’t you wonder how many said “hurricanes never come this far north”? And then came Irene! I always try to think the best, but in the back of my head I keep a plan for the worst. I can’t remember ever being told that my life would be easy!
Sometimes we look at others and think that they have it made. It looks like everything they touch turns to gold! But, we haven’t walked in their shoes. I have yet to meet someone who walks on a path paved with roses! All of us occasionally find a few rocks in our path; it is just that some have preplanned a way around them!
Accomplishments are hard to come by if we always think that someone else has to lead the way. It is too late to prepare after something happens! Now is the time to accept responsibility and to start planning for those “what ifs.” That way if something happens to the one you have let doing your thinking, you will be able to find your way.
I’m not finished

I Was God's Choice

I had no choice in deciding; who my family would be, where on this earth I would be born, or what the basic religion would be in the area I was born into! That’s why it all had to be chosen by God! I was God’s choice and so were you!
Where ever you were born and whoever you were born to also had to be the choice of God. We were chosen by God! Doesn’t that alone make us special? I look upon you as either my brother or my sister. But I feel it is wrong for you to come into MY God chosen area and try to change my beliefs, or maybe even kill me if you can’t change me. I believe that you are walking on mighty thin ice when you try to change God’s Will! I also believe I have no business trying to change you. If you need help I’ll help you but try to change you, NO!
If you come into my area I expect you to respect my beliefs, if I tread into yours I will respect yours.
When each of us came into this world, we came with nothing and wearing nothing. I do not believe it is necessary to wear crowns and robes, symbols on our collars, or on chains around our necks to do the work God put us here to do. God’s work can be done without flashing neon signs!
We all believe, respect, and worship the same God. Then why do we think one is better than the other? Aren’t we all God’s Will, God’s choice? If He didn’t think that each of us was important, would He have created us?
It seems to me that each time we try to question the Will of God we end up with just more questions than answers. Our God created each of us just the way He wanted us to be. Do we feel we have the right to try to change ourselves into someone we feel might be more “politically correct?”
I came into this world with nothing and I will leave it with nothing. I’m not going to spend all of the time in between messing up! If I can’t make each of those in between days better than the one before, it means I have failed both He and me. Let’s accept the life we have been given and give thanks for each new breath.
Even though I believe that we both are here by God’s choosing, I can’t recall ever being told that it would be easy. If I find a time that I can make life easier for you, I will. And, I expect you to do the same for me.
All religions talk about love in one way or another. But, what really is that love stuff all about? The way I see it; it is basically looking out for each other. Not just for those that go to the same place of worship as we do, or maybe we think that this love stuff is only for people that have the same skin color as we do. The more restrictions we put on our love, the harder it becomes to find and use.
I am God’s choice, so are you! Just that makes us special! Knowing that we are God’s chosen, how could we ask for more?
I’m not finished

Our First Anniversary

August 17 is the first anniversary of this blog. When I started writing the first blog I wondered where I would ever find enough words to finish it. This is blog number 77 and those words keep flowing from my pen each time it touches the paper! Thank you for reading my blogs. If it wasn’t for people like you reading my blogs they would just be a waste of my time.

Compared To What?

You ask me “How’s my day?” Compared to what? Do you ever think another question before you ever give an answer? Inspiration for this blog came from a quote from Barney Frank made on an early morning TV show. I was sitting just getting awake with my first cup of “Bob’s high-powered” cappuccino along with my usual channel flipping, when MY Friend said; stop! There it is! And, I knew that I would spend the rest of my morning pulling those words from inside my pen to my paper.
I’ve learned that sometimes a quick reply to a friendly greeting can rise the heckles of the questioner. But, an unspoken question in my mind could give me time to give a more pleasant answer.
That; “compared to what”, mental question could be applied to many more things than greetings. With the changing of only that last word we could change the way we look upon our lives! We could change that word to; who, others, them, when, or where!
If you would ask me “how are you?”, I could give you my new answer “compared to what?” My answer would probably by “I’m great!” Why? Because more than nine out of ten people my age are long gone and I’m still breathing! Compared to those others, doesn’t that alone make me great? When we really start comparing things, it really changes nothing, but doesn’t it really change everything? Don’t we live our lives by continually comparing our lives to others?
Who are you comparing YOU to? You don’t have to look far to realize that you have it better than most of the rest of the world! It’s only human to want more. But, who are you comparing that more to? Unbelievable amounts of money is being spent each day trying to teach us to never be satisfied with what we have, we’re continually being told that we must always want more. I believe, that maybe, it’s time to stop and count the blessing we already have! Time to think, and maybe give thanks, for all those things we already have. Maybe even time to compare us to US!
In my many years of talking to people, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard them say; I just can’t seem to---, I never could, I don’t know why I can’t do ---, or even, tell me why I can’t be like them! Of course you can’t, you were created differently, so why try to compare yourself to them! I’m sure you can do things they can’t! Wouldn’t it have been just as easy to say things like; I’ve always had a talent for ---, it’s always been easy for me to ---, or when I look around I find many that are far worse off than I am. I think it would be wise for everyone to take a lesson from that friendly used-car salesman. How long would he stay in business comparing his cars to someone else’s junkers?
Throughout my life I’ve had others tell they are doing something because everyone else is doing it! I’m sorry but that everyone else thing never fit my lifestyle! I’ve always felt that if the world wanted to be out of step with me, so be it. If they want to set their standards lower than mine, it’s up to them. I’ll respect their world but I don’t have to live in it. I want to be able to compare me to me, not to everyone else!
Most of us set goals or standards for ourselves. Probably first we look around to find someone, hopefully someone we look up to, to compare ourselves to. Sadly those goals are rarely reached by comparing with others. Set them according to you, compare those goals to you, as you improve you immediately see a better you.
In the length of time it took me to finish that last half cup of cappuccino this morning, I learned a few things that I believe will change the rest of my life! Now when you ask me a question, and I pause for a second, and then you see a smile come on my face before my answer you must remember that I probably ask myself “compared to what?”

Things Change

Many times you’ve heard me say that we must keep learning. It’s up to us, you and me! We are the only ones that can pave our way into our tomorrows. And, we have to learn to face the fact that our tomorrow is where it all is. Our world is changing and we must change with it! There was a line from an old song that went like this; Stop the world, I want to get off! It will not happen, if we stop our learning, the world continues to move. It will just pass us up!
I came from a generation that had to wind a Big Ben alarm clock each night just to keep it running so it would wake me in the morning in time for school. I had a Grandma that would have been shocked if I wouldn’t have held a door open for a lady. I’m sure she would have died if a man would have sat down at her dinner table with his cap on! Being “proper” was a part of her life. Her “standards” were far higher than those we find today. Yes, things change!
Our key word is CHANGE! I’ve also noticed that I find another word used many times in the same sentence with our key word. That word is progress. We use that word as something good, bad, or even as profanity in describing today’s world.
Words, for me, seemed to be just something that popped out of my mouth whenever I was communicating with others. They flowed out so easily! Then, I was told to write this blog! That word CHANGE smacked me right between the eyes! Before, all I had to do was shut my mouth and the words stopped. There was little thought, it was just an open or shut thing!
Now, in my blog, every word is in black and white! Those spoken words that were so soon forgotten had now changed to written words. Those small easily forgotten statements suddenly became headlines and they seemed to me to be all in CAPS! Suddenly those unnoticed words I used in my conversations almost became stumbling blocks in black and white! I had to rethink every word that was there in black and white! There’s that word again! Change, unlike my spoken word, I now was able to (edit) my words before they fell on other ears! I also discovered many new key words that I had used sparingly in conversations. Words like; responsibility, respect, faith, hurt, goals, standards, learning, and maybe the most important others.
It breaks my heart to have to look at today’s “throw-away people!” I’ve seen too many unwanted babies turn into unwanted adults ending up in our prisons! I feel the very worst is intelligent kids that their only goal in life is throwing themselves away! Here in Florida, we find that for every hundred persons, one is in prison! I just can’t accept that! Higher standards MUST be set! I’m sure no one wants to be that one in a hundred!
I think my key word, in this changing world, has always been learning. Sometimes I called it “figuring things out” but it was always learning. Those that know me know that I always have several things cooking in this head of mine at the same time.
I’ve heard many excuses for not wanting change. The one I hear most often is; I like things just the way they are or the way they used to be. There is no, just the way they are! It’s gone! It’s history never to return again! You can’t go back home, remember it’s changed!
Oh yes, you ask about my alarm clock. Now it’s called an Atomic clock. It’s accurate to the second. I don’t ever have to wind it. The only thing that can make it stop is if the battery power runs out. Tomorrow it will wake me for breakfast, if I can figure out which button to push! Yes, isn’t change great?

Just the Way You Are

Today, as I sat at my computer, I pulled up my music library. As I flipped through my list of CDs I found The Airmen of Note. As I looked I found their album “Just the Way You Are.” My Friend said “stop, that’s where it is!” Meaning; that is where I will find the subject of my next blog!
I pulled that album up and on the first tract there it was! “Just the Way You Are!” Reading down the list of songs on that album I found five more titles for future blogs! Long ago I realized that my inspiration for my blogs can come from unexpected places. This one had been put there many years before waiting for me to find it today!
Do we expect more from some than we do from others? Please forgive me for referring to the prison ministry so often but that is where I learned so much. If I can’t pass that learning on to others, what good is learning?
Many times, after I had walked through that clanking gate and under the razor wire fence, I would find a few new faces in our class. I made it a point to never ask why they were there. I did not want their history to influence my feelings for them that day and all of the tomorrows that we would be with each other. I wanted to be able to look upon them as important equals, not as someone to look down on.
But, can I show the same respect for those I’m much closer to? It is a lot harder, because, I expect more from them! Maybe, too much more!
At the prison, for the few hours that we were with them, we had the inmate’s unspoiled attention. On the outside, aren’t we really looking for the same thing? Aren’t we trying to find someone that has our unspoiled faith? Someone we can talk to, just the way they are!
That, just the way they are, can be a positive or a negative. So many times I’ve heard the excuse given for a person’s actions. The excuse usually sounds like this; it is because of just the way they are! I hear this most from parents as an excuse for their offspring’s actions. Sometimes I find it followed with; I don’t understand it, that’s not how they were taught, but-----
In the late 40’s and 50’s I was involved with the big-band music of those times. Looking back today, I can remember so many of that era’s hit songs here nothing more than basic lessons of life. Usually the title was the head-line for that lesson. There was; You Have to Accentuate the Positive, Eliminate the Negative, the title I used in this blog, Just the Way They Are, and many more including the one I always use as an excuse for me, I Did It My Way!
Much of how we live our lives, how we respect ourselves, others, and our world we live in is found in our music that we choose. As I listens to the music of today and watch and listen to today’s news, sometimes it’s hard for me to accept things “just the way they are!”

Respect

Several days ago my immediate family and I sat for nearly an hour and had a family talk. All of my family is now over fifty but in all of that time we never before sat and had a true open discussion about US! Do we know each other better? I think so.
During our talk several words were used more than once. Three of those words are key words you’ll find used in this blog. They are respect, argue, and hurt.
As I look back on my life’s journey I realize I have hurt others. More times than I would like to admit! And, many times I just brushed it off. My only after thought was; so be it, that’s a part of living.
In my later life I’ve tried to better myself. I try to avoid situations that could cause hurts for others. Actually, I have been learning to respect others! Slowly, I have learned that there is more to living than just me!
Argument has always come easy for me. Many times I have felt it to be almost a game! It took more than eighty years of living and one family discussion, for me to realize that all those arguments were nothing more than an endless ladder that lead step by step to nowhere! And, each step of that ladder had the ability to hurt both! My new goal? If I or someone else takes that first step, I’m going to try to avoid taking the second!
For many years I’ve tried to show more respect for myself. My Father in Heaven knew that I could use more help with that, so, where did He lead me? He led me to a prison ministry! My first thoughts were that I was going there to teach, little did I know that I was being sent there to LEARN! I could write a book on the many good things I’ve learned from those Tuesday morning trips!
My highlight was the morning that I overheard one of the inmates telling several that were new to our class “we don’t use street talk when Bob is in the room.” It wasn’t only a show of respect for me, it was their way of thanking me for what I was trying to do for them.
For years I’ve tried not to use words on the outside that I would not use in my house of worship. I know my Father in Heaven is always at my side and I view it a sign of respect for Him. I find that I tend to shy away from others who continually use those words around me, the reasoning is the same.
I try to be the best I can around others. I try to show respect for others. If others show no respect for themselves or me, that negative attitude pulls me down. My Friend told me that I have to learn to let go. Just because I’ve “let go” doesn’t mean I’ve quit. It means I’ve put things that bother me in the hands of others. It doesn’t mean I’ve stopped loving, many times it means I love them more! It means I need more help than I’m capable of giving. My Friend has given me the ability of hiding my hurts from others but I find it hard for me to hide my hurts from me!
That respect thing is not only the basic part of life and maybe it’s a big part of religion in its self. If we have no respect for ourselves, how can we show any respect for our world around us?
When we want to argue and we think we know it all, we must remember that there is only one with ALL knowledge and it sure isn’t you or me!
And how about all those hurts? There are times that we think only our hurts are the major ones. Think again, major hurts are those WE do to others!