We should never compare ourselves to someone younger. For we have already lived that part of our lives. Never compare ourselves to someone we feel is smarter than us. For God never creates two mortals the same. Never compare ourselves to someone we feel is more gifted than us. For they may just have learned to use their gifts in a more practical way.
Never feel that you have more bad luck than others. For those others may have learned to use each bit of bad luck as learning experiences that teaches them to step over the stumbling stones that caused their first fall, and move on, never to dwell on yesterday’s bad luck!
Never feel that you are disadvantaged. For one never has to look far to find one in worse shape than you. We should never compare ourselves to others until we have walked many miles in their shoes!
Could this comparison thing actually be no more than a lesson in futility? Aren’t we really comparing ourselves to all of God’s best? Maybe, it’s time to step back and compare us to us! How are WE doing with what God gave us to work with? How about counting our accomplishments instead of our failures? We look pretty good, don’t we? Could it be that we have been looking in the wrong direction for our comparison?
Now, that we have gone over all this comparison stuff that we used to make us feel sorry for ourselves, may I suggest that we take a little trip? “Where are we going?” you ask? Back to my favorite Wal Mart, of course! Remember, park as near the front door as we can. We’re just going to sit in the car and look. I challenge you to tell me, and remember this is only from outward appearances, would you want to trade places with anyone you see?
So often when we start comparing ourselves, we quickly put ourselves in the negative. Whenever I start heading down that road, my memories of my Grandma smacks me on the side of my head! Then she would say to me “we both know you’re better than that!” Both God and I know you’re better than that! Me because I love you and He because He created you the way He wanted you.
It is so important for us to realize the things God gave us to work with and learn to live the best we can with them. Just because we see someone do something better than us, does not make them better than us.
I’ve met many “important” people in my lifetime, some I admired, but not one of them did I envy. Not one would I have wanted to trade places with!
I live my life according to my standards and goals. Some would say I set my goals too low, but I set them according to what I feel my God gave me to work with. I have had the satisfaction of reaching many of my goals! With that completion of a goal I have the feeling of accomplishment that a person who sets unreachable goals never feels! I use my accomplished goals as stepping stones. I set my goals according to me, that way I never have to compare myself to others!
Those times that I compare myself to me, I feel good! Try it on yourself you may find you like you better! I’ve known many that I thought had done a good job with what God had given them to work with! Look at your face in a mirror, can you say the same about the face looking back at you?
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Friday, March 9, 2012
One Of Us
All of my life I’ve heard people talk about others, they would talk about the good they had done, them they would make a face and add; but, they just aren’t one of us! All through my growing-up years I learned that many would point to others and then say “but he, or she, or they were not one of us!” Many times I was shown those who were not, but I can’t remember being shown a one that was that one of us!
After a time I concluded that many were not quite as good, but no one really explained to me why! If I ask why, I usually was brushed off with answers like; oh they came from someplace else, or they came from a different country, even they dress funny, I was even told they go to a different church! Once I was told that “they” think funny!
In my mid life my family and I moved from the mid-western USA to the “Good Old Boy” south. It was there that I first learned that I talked funny! It was also there that it was brought forth to me that even I could be a “not one of us!” I also learned that one of this areas favorite reading materials was people! I’m sure you’ve heard someone say; “take care, they’ll read you like a book!” This is the area that saying came from! I guess too many came into this place trying to be someone they weren’t!
True friends are easy to come by around here. But, I learned that easy friendship was given with some reservation. It was made pretty clear that if I talked different, I probably would never end up a true “one of us!”
Several of my new friends worked hard and long hours. Many times I offered to help and my help was accepted. One evening after my work I was ask to help; the request was followed with a promise of an early morning “feed” after work was finished. It sounded like fun so of course I agreed.
We finished that night of hard work and then drove to one of my friend’s houses. We walked directly into the dining room and before us was a feast! I ask what the occasion was for all that food, and was told “it’s all for you Bob!” I was told that they were celebrating because they were no longer going to refer to me as a “Damn Yankee!” From now on I was just to be a Yankee! I had the feeling that I had been accepted! I felt like I was now “one of them!”
Then, I opened my mouth when I should have been listening!!! I ask how long it would take until they quit calling me a Yankee. My bubble burst when after a moment I was told “Bob you will not live that long!” I had just been told that I never could be a true “one of them!”
I had all but forgotten my Yankee experience until, the other day when it again was brought to my attention. In this area, many folks from colder climates come to spend their winters with us. We call them “Snow Birds.” I was told by a local; we appreciate those Snow Birds, but, you’ll notice there is usually a but before the next word; they just aren’t “one of us!”
Are we trying to tell the world that we think we’re better or different than the rest of the world? Are we saying that we don’t like strangers? Are we trying to build fences around ourselves to keep the rest of the world out?
For the better part of a century people have taught me to look for differences in people. Maybe, just maybe, we should start looking to find how alike we are! We all breathe the air around us. Isn’t that a good place to start? Doesn’t that make them “one of us?” Is it really necessary to carry that bloody knife of division every place we go?
My last question: are YOU really sure that you are “one of us?”
After a time I concluded that many were not quite as good, but no one really explained to me why! If I ask why, I usually was brushed off with answers like; oh they came from someplace else, or they came from a different country, even they dress funny, I was even told they go to a different church! Once I was told that “they” think funny!
In my mid life my family and I moved from the mid-western USA to the “Good Old Boy” south. It was there that I first learned that I talked funny! It was also there that it was brought forth to me that even I could be a “not one of us!” I also learned that one of this areas favorite reading materials was people! I’m sure you’ve heard someone say; “take care, they’ll read you like a book!” This is the area that saying came from! I guess too many came into this place trying to be someone they weren’t!
True friends are easy to come by around here. But, I learned that easy friendship was given with some reservation. It was made pretty clear that if I talked different, I probably would never end up a true “one of us!”
Several of my new friends worked hard and long hours. Many times I offered to help and my help was accepted. One evening after my work I was ask to help; the request was followed with a promise of an early morning “feed” after work was finished. It sounded like fun so of course I agreed.
We finished that night of hard work and then drove to one of my friend’s houses. We walked directly into the dining room and before us was a feast! I ask what the occasion was for all that food, and was told “it’s all for you Bob!” I was told that they were celebrating because they were no longer going to refer to me as a “Damn Yankee!” From now on I was just to be a Yankee! I had the feeling that I had been accepted! I felt like I was now “one of them!”
Then, I opened my mouth when I should have been listening!!! I ask how long it would take until they quit calling me a Yankee. My bubble burst when after a moment I was told “Bob you will not live that long!” I had just been told that I never could be a true “one of them!”
I had all but forgotten my Yankee experience until, the other day when it again was brought to my attention. In this area, many folks from colder climates come to spend their winters with us. We call them “Snow Birds.” I was told by a local; we appreciate those Snow Birds, but, you’ll notice there is usually a but before the next word; they just aren’t “one of us!”
Are we trying to tell the world that we think we’re better or different than the rest of the world? Are we saying that we don’t like strangers? Are we trying to build fences around ourselves to keep the rest of the world out?
For the better part of a century people have taught me to look for differences in people. Maybe, just maybe, we should start looking to find how alike we are! We all breathe the air around us. Isn’t that a good place to start? Doesn’t that make them “one of us?” Is it really necessary to carry that bloody knife of division every place we go?
My last question: are YOU really sure that you are “one of us?”
Saturday, March 3, 2012
My Pandora's Box
When I first started walking up to strangers and asking that question; “what did you want to be while growing up”? I had no idea of its consequences! I thought the answers I received might give me some ideas for a blog. Little did I dream that short one line could open the door to an exciting new adventure!
I had planned to keep it simple. Seldom are my blogs more than 700 words. I had planned on keeping a person’s gender, their color, or their religion out of my essay. I now know that all can be a controlling factor in all of our dreams! I thought that I would only be asking about that person’s dreams; those dreams that were fulfilled and those that were never reached.
I thought, or maybe I dreamed, it could be interesting to walk up to anyone, any place, at any time and ask my question. So far I’ve probably ask about a hundred people, and no one has refused to answer!
I never ask kids, unless a parent is present. Often I see a surprised look on that parent’s face when they hear the youngster’s answer. I wonder if they never thought to ask that question!
I’ve had some people come back later and thank me for showing an interest in them. And then, taking time to listen!
I think that question is so great because it gives people a chance to think and talk about themselves. For a few moments it’s just them, there is not a need to put someone else in their equation! I’ve been surprised at the number of smiles I see as they look back on pleasant memories of growing up.
God puts many dreams in our heart, but seldom are we asked to talk about them. Think about this; with that one question I’ve made that person the most important person in the world for ME! Even if it’s for only a few minutes!
I have always believed every person has a story within them, sometimes a book! That story is just waiting to be told. Our former president Bill Clinton put it this way; “ I believe everyone is interesting, and has a story to tell.”
I can also add that I learn so much from those I talk to. It has been my goal to be able to carry on an intelligent conversation with anyone. I try to know a little about a lot of things. Then as others talk, I step back and learn more! I try to let others direct the conversation, but I ask a lot of questions.
I find that many feel that others have taken their dreams from them. Sometimes it’s family, friends, religion, or even someone telling them that they are not capable of doing something. It’s their dream and if they can dream it they can do it. Maybe they let others hide those dreams in a box and they are afraid to let them out!
I have been surprised at the number of people that feel they have fulfilled their childhood dream, and then gone on to dream more dreams! Sadly, I have run into some older people that feel they no longer dream!
As of today, I’m almost 87. I’m still not sure just what I want to be when I grow up! But, I’m fulfilling my last dream as I write this! And, I’m finding the answers I’ve been receiving from that question has opened up many new trains of thought! Every time I hear my musician friend Jabbo sing “It’s a Wonderful World” I’m in full agreement! Oh Yeah!
I had planned to keep it simple. Seldom are my blogs more than 700 words. I had planned on keeping a person’s gender, their color, or their religion out of my essay. I now know that all can be a controlling factor in all of our dreams! I thought that I would only be asking about that person’s dreams; those dreams that were fulfilled and those that were never reached.
I thought, or maybe I dreamed, it could be interesting to walk up to anyone, any place, at any time and ask my question. So far I’ve probably ask about a hundred people, and no one has refused to answer!
I never ask kids, unless a parent is present. Often I see a surprised look on that parent’s face when they hear the youngster’s answer. I wonder if they never thought to ask that question!
I’ve had some people come back later and thank me for showing an interest in them. And then, taking time to listen!
I think that question is so great because it gives people a chance to think and talk about themselves. For a few moments it’s just them, there is not a need to put someone else in their equation! I’ve been surprised at the number of smiles I see as they look back on pleasant memories of growing up.
God puts many dreams in our heart, but seldom are we asked to talk about them. Think about this; with that one question I’ve made that person the most important person in the world for ME! Even if it’s for only a few minutes!
I have always believed every person has a story within them, sometimes a book! That story is just waiting to be told. Our former president Bill Clinton put it this way; “ I believe everyone is interesting, and has a story to tell.”
I can also add that I learn so much from those I talk to. It has been my goal to be able to carry on an intelligent conversation with anyone. I try to know a little about a lot of things. Then as others talk, I step back and learn more! I try to let others direct the conversation, but I ask a lot of questions.
I find that many feel that others have taken their dreams from them. Sometimes it’s family, friends, religion, or even someone telling them that they are not capable of doing something. It’s their dream and if they can dream it they can do it. Maybe they let others hide those dreams in a box and they are afraid to let them out!
I have been surprised at the number of people that feel they have fulfilled their childhood dream, and then gone on to dream more dreams! Sadly, I have run into some older people that feel they no longer dream!
As of today, I’m almost 87. I’m still not sure just what I want to be when I grow up! But, I’m fulfilling my last dream as I write this! And, I’m finding the answers I’ve been receiving from that question has opened up many new trains of thought! Every time I hear my musician friend Jabbo sing “It’s a Wonderful World” I’m in full agreement! Oh Yeah!
Thursday, March 1, 2012
My One Hundredth Blog
For thousands of years the world had what I consider “religious conformity”; a number of small groups being taught by one person in each group teaching them his interpretation of his reading from a religious book. That person usually received his authority to teach from a larger group that had interpreted their reading of that book one way or the other! Sometimes, when no one else was a around, a person would take the authority upon themselves!
After many more years, a few people started traveling. That presented a problem! They started being told things that were not of their learning! The things they were hearing were not the way they had been told things should be. Therefore that made all “others” wrong! Those “others”, if they did not conform to the traveler’s religious beliefs, either had to be converted or killed! ANYONE they converted was a (good person), but all of those (no good heathens) must die! Yes, all in the name of religion!
This train of thought went on for years! Sometimes entire races were wiped out! But, as travel became more common, many found that they could move to areas that were more friendly to their religious beliefs or maybe they moved to vacant areas where they could give their beliefs a fresh start. Some even started different interpretations of their old religion, while still retaining its basic beliefs.
About that time our world walked into the last century. In just that century, the world went from horse and buggy to jet planes! In just those hundred years, we saw more changes in our world, than the rest of the years from the beginning of time! Many religions had been happy with things before. They wanted to keep living in “the good old days”, they didn’t realize they had to learn to think the old thoughts in new ways. Many felt more secure with that living breathing horse in front of them, they found themselves uncomfortable with those “new fangled” ideas of religion. Many stood there dragging their feet as their membership started running away!
Early in that last century many wars were fought. Suddenly those kids from those small areas, the ones with conforming religions, found themselves stationed in areas with entirely different beliefs! Areas they found was worshiping the same God, but doing it in strange and different ways!
Then, about half way through that century, came religion’s first major shocker! TV! Religion and the world would never again be the same! Now we not only see things happening any place on earth, but many times we saw them as they were happening! Religion’s old horse just ran away, and we watched as someone shot it! We were able to see and hear things, right in our living room that people of the century before couldn’t have dreamed! And, it wasn’t just for a moment, IT WAS ALL THE TIME!!!
About the time our reeling religious teachers were starting to regain their balance they were again broadsided! In the mid 1980’s the computer came into our homes! Suddenly, if we had a question our local teacher couldn’t explain, we could go to the world for answers! Often, we found ourselves receiving answers before we had fully worked out our questions!
The peoples of yesterday had their religious institutions as their center of interest, but the people of today often find themselves seated in their homes instead of their places of worship. Many find it far more exciting watching TV or talking with friends in faraway places on the internet or cell phone than sitting for an hour or more listening to the same thing told the same way! And, they don’t have to dress up!
Each day I wake in the morning thinking about all of the exciting things I’ve seen in just my lifetime. And, each day I’m sure there will be more! I’ve put many yesterdays into this 100th essay. Now, I’m looking forth to many more tomorrows to hand me the material for the next hundred! Thanks for being there!
After many more years, a few people started traveling. That presented a problem! They started being told things that were not of their learning! The things they were hearing were not the way they had been told things should be. Therefore that made all “others” wrong! Those “others”, if they did not conform to the traveler’s religious beliefs, either had to be converted or killed! ANYONE they converted was a (good person), but all of those (no good heathens) must die! Yes, all in the name of religion!
This train of thought went on for years! Sometimes entire races were wiped out! But, as travel became more common, many found that they could move to areas that were more friendly to their religious beliefs or maybe they moved to vacant areas where they could give their beliefs a fresh start. Some even started different interpretations of their old religion, while still retaining its basic beliefs.
About that time our world walked into the last century. In just that century, the world went from horse and buggy to jet planes! In just those hundred years, we saw more changes in our world, than the rest of the years from the beginning of time! Many religions had been happy with things before. They wanted to keep living in “the good old days”, they didn’t realize they had to learn to think the old thoughts in new ways. Many felt more secure with that living breathing horse in front of them, they found themselves uncomfortable with those “new fangled” ideas of religion. Many stood there dragging their feet as their membership started running away!
Early in that last century many wars were fought. Suddenly those kids from those small areas, the ones with conforming religions, found themselves stationed in areas with entirely different beliefs! Areas they found was worshiping the same God, but doing it in strange and different ways!
Then, about half way through that century, came religion’s first major shocker! TV! Religion and the world would never again be the same! Now we not only see things happening any place on earth, but many times we saw them as they were happening! Religion’s old horse just ran away, and we watched as someone shot it! We were able to see and hear things, right in our living room that people of the century before couldn’t have dreamed! And, it wasn’t just for a moment, IT WAS ALL THE TIME!!!
About the time our reeling religious teachers were starting to regain their balance they were again broadsided! In the mid 1980’s the computer came into our homes! Suddenly, if we had a question our local teacher couldn’t explain, we could go to the world for answers! Often, we found ourselves receiving answers before we had fully worked out our questions!
The peoples of yesterday had their religious institutions as their center of interest, but the people of today often find themselves seated in their homes instead of their places of worship. Many find it far more exciting watching TV or talking with friends in faraway places on the internet or cell phone than sitting for an hour or more listening to the same thing told the same way! And, they don’t have to dress up!
Each day I wake in the morning thinking about all of the exciting things I’ve seen in just my lifetime. And, each day I’m sure there will be more! I’ve put many yesterdays into this 100th essay. Now, I’m looking forth to many more tomorrows to hand me the material for the next hundred! Thanks for being there!
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
For Him
Several days ago I found myself sitting just putting my thoughts together. Some would describe it as; just getting all my ducks in a row! Suddenly an overpowering thought pushed everything else aside! That thought was; ask Him what you can do for Him! Never one time could I ever remember, in any of my religious experiences, having that thought suggested to me! Give that some thought! What could I do for HIM!!!
In all the prayers and blessings, that I could remember, it was always give me this, do this for me or do this for them. I can’t recall ever hearing one “do for Him”. Most of those prayers and blessings was people telling Him just what they expected of Him! What happened to that “His Will” part of the blessing? Has it been all but forgotten by some? Could some religious people profess to know as much or even more than God?
Now, let me get back to my overpowering thought. As I sat there I ASK THAT QUESTION! Surprisingly I received an answer! The first thing I was told was “keep your faith”, not my religious faith, but my faith in ME! I was told several other things that I will explain in future blogs. There also were several things just between Him and me.
I’m still trying to digest the fact of being told the importance of my faith in myself. Let’s dig a little deeper into this faith, faith in our self, thing. The instant we were born, when we took that first breath for our self, we had nothing else but faith in our self! Along with our second breath we discovered this new world was already trying to control that faith in our self; we were being compared with every other new born. We were a big or small baby; we looked like Mom or Dad, or our Mom didn’t know who the Father was, and the visiting preacher labeled the child a bastard!
The rest of the world has already started building a shrinking box to keep both he and his thoughts and his dreams in! Were they “good parents or bad parents?” If they were bad parents, “they” said the kid would only grow up to be no good! They could be right! It would be hard to have faith in yourself with most of your world trying to stomp you into the ground! Remember that preacher that was so good to visit the mother in the hospital, but then hung that awful label around the baby’s neck? He just pointed a finger at the the same youngster, now a teenager and told him that he was going to Hell! Then he wondered why he never again saw him in church again. Now the preacher hung a new anchor around the boy’s neck, he called him a heathen! And, the man calls himself “a man of God!” Isn’t he supposed to bring people in, not drive them away?
Today’s prisons are full of those “throwaway kids turned into throwaway adults”! Most of them are there today because someone robbed THEM! Someone, or many, took away their faith in themselves!
If you happened to read my Lighthouse blog a few weeks back I have a selfish confession to make; I told you that each time I look at it I can hear the song “This Little Light of Mine.” That is a half truth! I also look at it as a monument to my faith in me! My impossible dream! My dream that came true!
I came away, from my talk with my friend, believing that faith in our selves is as important in our life as any other part of living!
In all the prayers and blessings, that I could remember, it was always give me this, do this for me or do this for them. I can’t recall ever hearing one “do for Him”. Most of those prayers and blessings was people telling Him just what they expected of Him! What happened to that “His Will” part of the blessing? Has it been all but forgotten by some? Could some religious people profess to know as much or even more than God?
Now, let me get back to my overpowering thought. As I sat there I ASK THAT QUESTION! Surprisingly I received an answer! The first thing I was told was “keep your faith”, not my religious faith, but my faith in ME! I was told several other things that I will explain in future blogs. There also were several things just between Him and me.
I’m still trying to digest the fact of being told the importance of my faith in myself. Let’s dig a little deeper into this faith, faith in our self, thing. The instant we were born, when we took that first breath for our self, we had nothing else but faith in our self! Along with our second breath we discovered this new world was already trying to control that faith in our self; we were being compared with every other new born. We were a big or small baby; we looked like Mom or Dad, or our Mom didn’t know who the Father was, and the visiting preacher labeled the child a bastard!
The rest of the world has already started building a shrinking box to keep both he and his thoughts and his dreams in! Were they “good parents or bad parents?” If they were bad parents, “they” said the kid would only grow up to be no good! They could be right! It would be hard to have faith in yourself with most of your world trying to stomp you into the ground! Remember that preacher that was so good to visit the mother in the hospital, but then hung that awful label around the baby’s neck? He just pointed a finger at the the same youngster, now a teenager and told him that he was going to Hell! Then he wondered why he never again saw him in church again. Now the preacher hung a new anchor around the boy’s neck, he called him a heathen! And, the man calls himself “a man of God!” Isn’t he supposed to bring people in, not drive them away?
Today’s prisons are full of those “throwaway kids turned into throwaway adults”! Most of them are there today because someone robbed THEM! Someone, or many, took away their faith in themselves!
If you happened to read my Lighthouse blog a few weeks back I have a selfish confession to make; I told you that each time I look at it I can hear the song “This Little Light of Mine.” That is a half truth! I also look at it as a monument to my faith in me! My impossible dream! My dream that came true!
I came away, from my talk with my friend, believing that faith in our selves is as important in our life as any other part of living!
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Hold 'em Down
For many years I had a business in the Midwest and one of my most lasting memories, is also kind of a strange one. On Fridays we stayed open late. One of our customers was a farm couple. They came in many Friday nights, but they seldom bought anything. I felt that they were a very lonely middle-aged couple and they often came in to have someone to talk to.
The reason they stick in my memory is the way he first addressed his wife. He only called her DUMMY! He would find something that he wanted to share with her, and then shoot her down with his comment. It made no difference to him if the store was full of people or they were the only people in the store. Any time he would find something that he was interested in, always in a loud voice he would say “come here Dummy and look at this!”
After about the third Friday night of that, I invited them into the store’s back room. I told him it hurt me every time he called her that name in my store. Then she uttered the only words I ever heard from her mouth. She looked up at me and said that she was not sure if he could even remember her name! He then took her by the arm and stormed out of the store!
A few weeks later they were back! He and his voiceless wife, the one he now called by name, came back many Fridays until we closed the store.
Many religions tell the man that he is “the head of the household!” the dominant male, almost inferring that the woman should walk three steps behind! Why would any religion feel that one child of God is better than another child of God? Aren’t they really encouraging the man “to hold em down?” Aren’t they really telling one sex to have less faith in themselves than the other?
In our world of today, where it is politically correct to make fun or run-down others, isn’t the real goal to hold em down? If our God had wanted us to be goldfish in a bowl, that would have been how he would have created us!
As I have said before; My Friend is always looking over my shoulder when I’m working on these blogs. Several days after I thought I had this one finished, I was told to go back and reread this one! I was told I had more that I should say!
He reminded me of a previous blog on bullying. He asks if I could not see the relation between that entry and this one. Yes, I sure can now! Isn’t “holding em down” nothing more than bullying? And, He told me that it was bullying of the worst kind! Think of how many times that we have read of people taking their own lives because of someone’s bullying! Others taking away their faith in themselves!
Sadly, often it’s friends, family, loved ones, or even their religious leaders causing this to happen! You would not believe, that in my conversation with others, the first thing I’m told is; they wish they were dead or that they have nothing left to live for! I’ve spent hundreds of hours talking with people that feel all hope is lost! That they have lost faith in themselves and some even in their God!
There is no jail time for those thieves, the ones that take away the only real thing that some people have left!
This past week I had a lady tell me that God had given her so little to work with. God gives each of us everything we need to live our lives! It’s up to us to learn to use what we have been given!
My Grandma was the guiding factor in my life. She continually told me things like; “Bob, we both know that you are better than that”, or “Bob, we both know you can do better than that.” Many times she would point to others as an example before I would hear those words. She and Grandpa never had much money, actually they were poor, but they were the richest people that ever touched my life!
Looking back today; I realize the ones that worked the hardest to hold me down, were really the ones that caused me to set my goals higher!
The reason they stick in my memory is the way he first addressed his wife. He only called her DUMMY! He would find something that he wanted to share with her, and then shoot her down with his comment. It made no difference to him if the store was full of people or they were the only people in the store. Any time he would find something that he was interested in, always in a loud voice he would say “come here Dummy and look at this!”
After about the third Friday night of that, I invited them into the store’s back room. I told him it hurt me every time he called her that name in my store. Then she uttered the only words I ever heard from her mouth. She looked up at me and said that she was not sure if he could even remember her name! He then took her by the arm and stormed out of the store!
A few weeks later they were back! He and his voiceless wife, the one he now called by name, came back many Fridays until we closed the store.
Many religions tell the man that he is “the head of the household!” the dominant male, almost inferring that the woman should walk three steps behind! Why would any religion feel that one child of God is better than another child of God? Aren’t they really encouraging the man “to hold em down?” Aren’t they really telling one sex to have less faith in themselves than the other?
In our world of today, where it is politically correct to make fun or run-down others, isn’t the real goal to hold em down? If our God had wanted us to be goldfish in a bowl, that would have been how he would have created us!
As I have said before; My Friend is always looking over my shoulder when I’m working on these blogs. Several days after I thought I had this one finished, I was told to go back and reread this one! I was told I had more that I should say!
He reminded me of a previous blog on bullying. He asks if I could not see the relation between that entry and this one. Yes, I sure can now! Isn’t “holding em down” nothing more than bullying? And, He told me that it was bullying of the worst kind! Think of how many times that we have read of people taking their own lives because of someone’s bullying! Others taking away their faith in themselves!
Sadly, often it’s friends, family, loved ones, or even their religious leaders causing this to happen! You would not believe, that in my conversation with others, the first thing I’m told is; they wish they were dead or that they have nothing left to live for! I’ve spent hundreds of hours talking with people that feel all hope is lost! That they have lost faith in themselves and some even in their God!
There is no jail time for those thieves, the ones that take away the only real thing that some people have left!
This past week I had a lady tell me that God had given her so little to work with. God gives each of us everything we need to live our lives! It’s up to us to learn to use what we have been given!
My Grandma was the guiding factor in my life. She continually told me things like; “Bob, we both know that you are better than that”, or “Bob, we both know you can do better than that.” Many times she would point to others as an example before I would hear those words. She and Grandpa never had much money, actually they were poor, but they were the richest people that ever touched my life!
Looking back today; I realize the ones that worked the hardest to hold me down, were really the ones that caused me to set my goals higher!
Friday, February 24, 2012
Creating Your Future
For an article I’m writing, I have ask dozens what they wanted to be while growing up. Today I realized that I had only been asking one part of a two part question.
The second part? I should have been following up with; what do you want to be AFTER you’ve grown up? I have been asking that “want to be” question but, failing to follow up with; where you want to go after you got there or failed to get there!
I talk to many older folks, many of them retired, and I ask them a different question. That question is; what did you do exciting the past week? Often I only get a blank stare! Surely, in seven days something exciting happened to them! Can retirement mean to them, stop the world and let me off? I’m older than most I talk to and yet, I look forward to each new day and its excitement for me. I find it hard for me to fit all of my plans into a short twenty-four hour day! Maybe I should help them stop the world so that they could get back on!
I have some friends, they are a couple, that have a “bucket list.” Things that they plan to do and see before they “kick the bucket”, before they die. They are some of the busiest people I know. They HAVE created their future! I know when I ask them that question I better have a place to sit down. I’m in for a long interesting answer!
The many answers that I have received to my questions have taught me that our lives can be as boring or as exciting as we ourselves want to make then!
The late Steve Jobs said something that I would like to pass on to you. Steve said; “life is short! Our time is limited! Don’t waste that time trying to live someone else’s life”. I’ll add, don’t waste that time letting someone else live yours! Live your own life! Create your own future! And remember that future doesn’t have to be written all in caps to be exciting.
Occasionally I’ll have someone tell me that they wish they were dead! But, they are not! It’s just a time to start making changes! It’s time for them to start planning a better future for themselves! They already know the things they don’t like about themselves, now it’s time to look for the things they DO like about themselves or their world! It’s very hard to help someone that refuses to help themselves. All those “did wrongs” were placed there as learning experiences to show how to do right. The old saying; two wrongs don’t make a right. But, those wrongs can show us the way to make it right.
If you’re doing something you really don’t like, maybe you shouldn’t be doing it in the first place! If those old “want to be’s” worked or even if they didn’t work they still can be a help in creating that future. Remember, that future starts right now and has no age limit.
The second part? I should have been following up with; what do you want to be AFTER you’ve grown up? I have been asking that “want to be” question but, failing to follow up with; where you want to go after you got there or failed to get there!
I talk to many older folks, many of them retired, and I ask them a different question. That question is; what did you do exciting the past week? Often I only get a blank stare! Surely, in seven days something exciting happened to them! Can retirement mean to them, stop the world and let me off? I’m older than most I talk to and yet, I look forward to each new day and its excitement for me. I find it hard for me to fit all of my plans into a short twenty-four hour day! Maybe I should help them stop the world so that they could get back on!
I have some friends, they are a couple, that have a “bucket list.” Things that they plan to do and see before they “kick the bucket”, before they die. They are some of the busiest people I know. They HAVE created their future! I know when I ask them that question I better have a place to sit down. I’m in for a long interesting answer!
The many answers that I have received to my questions have taught me that our lives can be as boring or as exciting as we ourselves want to make then!
The late Steve Jobs said something that I would like to pass on to you. Steve said; “life is short! Our time is limited! Don’t waste that time trying to live someone else’s life”. I’ll add, don’t waste that time letting someone else live yours! Live your own life! Create your own future! And remember that future doesn’t have to be written all in caps to be exciting.
Occasionally I’ll have someone tell me that they wish they were dead! But, they are not! It’s just a time to start making changes! It’s time for them to start planning a better future for themselves! They already know the things they don’t like about themselves, now it’s time to look for the things they DO like about themselves or their world! It’s very hard to help someone that refuses to help themselves. All those “did wrongs” were placed there as learning experiences to show how to do right. The old saying; two wrongs don’t make a right. But, those wrongs can show us the way to make it right.
If you’re doing something you really don’t like, maybe you shouldn’t be doing it in the first place! If those old “want to be’s” worked or even if they didn’t work they still can be a help in creating that future. Remember, that future starts right now and has no age limit.
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