As many of you know, I had my 85th birthday last July. I could have looked at that number and said to myself “Well life is almost over”. But, I did not! I started looking at all of those things that had been, and were, making this year one of the best years of my life.
Today, as I started thinking and looking back over the past year and realizing just how great it had been. Then, I started looking forward to the coming year. I’m expecting it to be even greater!
It would be hard for me to count all of the new and exciting things I have learned over the past year. I look back and think about the many things I was about to start and my first thoughts were always “I could never accomplish something like that”. And, THEN I DID THEM!
This has been the year that I have had to force my positives to override my negatives. My health has forced me to develop new ways to do old things.
Of course, there have been disappointments and setbacks in the past year but I refuse to let these rocks in my road cause me to fall. I try not to let my life’s disappointments become my headlines. I’ll hide those disappointments in small print on one of my back pages.
I am so blessed to have My Friend always walking by my side. As soon as I start feeling blue, I’m handed new ideas and challenges that keeps my mind active. He never lets my brain have time to grow moss! I can’t remember a day, this past year, that my mind didn’t have challenging new thoughts or there were times when I had to figure out new ways of doing those old things. It has always amazed me how many new ideas and learning experiences find their way into my thought process each day.
I never bother with how many days I have left in life; I’ll let God take care of that. My worry is that I could miss that day’s learning experience. I know it will be there and I must be ready to receive it!
I want to thank all of you who have touched my heart this past year. Without all of you my 2010 calendar would have only been twelve blank pages with 365 blank squares. Each of you have helped make my life worth living! Thank you!!!
I expect 2011 to be the best year of my life and hope the same for you! May all of your days be positive and may no negatives ever darken your door.
Love-Just Bob
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Thursday, December 23, 2010
God's Answers
Believe it or not, an ad for a shower radio was the inspiration for this blog.
We need quiet time and part of my quite time is when I shower. Until I saw that ad I had not stopped to realize how many answers to the questions that I had ask my Father in Heaven had been answered in that three by six shower stall and in my bathroom.
I can’t begin to count the number of times I’ve had to rinse off, wrap a towel around and then walk out to the living room to write that answer down. Long ago I learned that answer had to be on paper before I could think other thoughts.
But, why there? Why in my bathroom of all places? Then I realized, that was one of the few places He could receive my FULL attention! I now wonder just how many answers I could have missed because of outside distractions. I’m sure that if the answer was important, He would not have let me miss it.
At first many of my answers surprised me. Each answer has been in my easy to understand English. Each answer was very clear, making it impossible for me to misunderstand its meaning. The answers were never scriptural and they never referred to the scriptures. One of my greatest surprises was most answers were under thirty words.
One time I ask God to give me a sign. That time my answer was quick and firm. The answer was “Never pray and ask for a sign. Signs are subject to interpretation. Pray and ask for an answer.”
Today’s world has many more distractions that tend to move us away from God. Our world moves much faster and with far more noise and commercialism. There is always someone trying to find a way to take away every waking moment of each of our lives. In the quieter Bible times it was easier for God to speak to that much smaller population. He had far less competition for each person’s time.
God competing for time? You ask. How many of today’s churches schedule their Sunday services around Sunday afternoon football? Do you think God will only talk to you during the half-time break?
Looking back on my life, I wonder how many of my former pastors ever ask questions of God or ever thought they might receive an answer? Next, if they did how many took the time to receive those answers? If His answers did not fit their opinions were they ever passed on to their congregations? How many really had the faith that He would actually speak to them?
You don’t have to put your shirt on backward or have a certificate nailed to your wall to have God talk to you. All you need is faith!
God will speak to each of us! All we have to do is find some quiet time so we can hear Him. Find a quiet place and teach ourselves to listen and lastly, yes, each of us is worthy!
As I learned God will always help us find a place. I can testify to you when you receive your answers from the source you always know that you have received the RIGHT answer! Oh yes: will I put a radio in my shower? No way!
We need quiet time and part of my quite time is when I shower. Until I saw that ad I had not stopped to realize how many answers to the questions that I had ask my Father in Heaven had been answered in that three by six shower stall and in my bathroom.
I can’t begin to count the number of times I’ve had to rinse off, wrap a towel around and then walk out to the living room to write that answer down. Long ago I learned that answer had to be on paper before I could think other thoughts.
But, why there? Why in my bathroom of all places? Then I realized, that was one of the few places He could receive my FULL attention! I now wonder just how many answers I could have missed because of outside distractions. I’m sure that if the answer was important, He would not have let me miss it.
At first many of my answers surprised me. Each answer has been in my easy to understand English. Each answer was very clear, making it impossible for me to misunderstand its meaning. The answers were never scriptural and they never referred to the scriptures. One of my greatest surprises was most answers were under thirty words.
One time I ask God to give me a sign. That time my answer was quick and firm. The answer was “Never pray and ask for a sign. Signs are subject to interpretation. Pray and ask for an answer.”
Today’s world has many more distractions that tend to move us away from God. Our world moves much faster and with far more noise and commercialism. There is always someone trying to find a way to take away every waking moment of each of our lives. In the quieter Bible times it was easier for God to speak to that much smaller population. He had far less competition for each person’s time.
God competing for time? You ask. How many of today’s churches schedule their Sunday services around Sunday afternoon football? Do you think God will only talk to you during the half-time break?
Looking back on my life, I wonder how many of my former pastors ever ask questions of God or ever thought they might receive an answer? Next, if they did how many took the time to receive those answers? If His answers did not fit their opinions were they ever passed on to their congregations? How many really had the faith that He would actually speak to them?
You don’t have to put your shirt on backward or have a certificate nailed to your wall to have God talk to you. All you need is faith!
God will speak to each of us! All we have to do is find some quiet time so we can hear Him. Find a quiet place and teach ourselves to listen and lastly, yes, each of us is worthy!
As I learned God will always help us find a place. I can testify to you when you receive your answers from the source you always know that you have received the RIGHT answer! Oh yes: will I put a radio in my shower? No way!
Monday, December 20, 2010
Bob's Christmas 2010
Bob’s Christmas 2010
Sunday I made a shocking discovery. As I sat listening to our band and choir giving their Christmas presentation I found myself singing along with the children’s presentation, and I KNEW ALL THE WORDS. Somehow their singing unlocked that six or seven year old that had been entrapped in this body for almost eighty years!
I felt a feeling long forgotten. I closed my eyes and remembered skipping home from Sunday school singing those same songs at the top of my voice. For a few moments I was that little kid again and it FELT GOOD! When I looked toward the stage I saw myself as the little boy who cried because he didn’t want to stand in front of all those people. Or, the little girl that stood dancing and showing off in front of the crowd. Yes, I had been both!
Later I found myself speechless (a moment seldom found in the life of Bob) when a member of the congregation thanked me for my gift. “Your gift?” I questioned. She said it was my hug wrapped in the love from my heart!
I noticed the hugs being returned that day were much warmer, more from the heart. I also noticed many more warm hands being placed on my shoulders by my “non-hugger” friends. Never once was I wished a “Happy Holidays”.
I may have not mentioned this before but for the past few years I found myself having a lot of pain in my hands. Last year I started losing the feelings in my fingers! This caused me to panic because touching meant so much to me. Early last spring I had surgery on my right wrist. I thank God for its success. I still have the pain in my hand but I have all the feeling back in my fingers.
Christmas is not only a time for love and joy, it seems also to be the time for the deepest hurts. It looks as though it is the time when many Scrooges come out from under their rocks. We must be extra cautious that our unthinking word doesn’t add to the hurt already caused by a friend or loved one.
The Holidays are the time of the year that I like to use my favorite mealtime prayer “my Father in Heaven-We thank you for our many blessings- We ask that you bless this food and ask that it will strengthen and nourish but not fatten us-A men”.
When you write your gift want list try to put one item on your list that you can share with others.
May your Christmas be warm and loving. May the coming year be your best ever. I personally plan to wake each morning of the coming year and take as big of a bite out of that day’s life as I can.
We wish you a MERRY CHRISTMAS and a happy loving New Year.
From; that happy singing skipping six year old and
That eighty-five year old Just Bob who wishes he
could still skip.
Sunday I made a shocking discovery. As I sat listening to our band and choir giving their Christmas presentation I found myself singing along with the children’s presentation, and I KNEW ALL THE WORDS. Somehow their singing unlocked that six or seven year old that had been entrapped in this body for almost eighty years!
I felt a feeling long forgotten. I closed my eyes and remembered skipping home from Sunday school singing those same songs at the top of my voice. For a few moments I was that little kid again and it FELT GOOD! When I looked toward the stage I saw myself as the little boy who cried because he didn’t want to stand in front of all those people. Or, the little girl that stood dancing and showing off in front of the crowd. Yes, I had been both!
Later I found myself speechless (a moment seldom found in the life of Bob) when a member of the congregation thanked me for my gift. “Your gift?” I questioned. She said it was my hug wrapped in the love from my heart!
I noticed the hugs being returned that day were much warmer, more from the heart. I also noticed many more warm hands being placed on my shoulders by my “non-hugger” friends. Never once was I wished a “Happy Holidays”.
I may have not mentioned this before but for the past few years I found myself having a lot of pain in my hands. Last year I started losing the feelings in my fingers! This caused me to panic because touching meant so much to me. Early last spring I had surgery on my right wrist. I thank God for its success. I still have the pain in my hand but I have all the feeling back in my fingers.
Christmas is not only a time for love and joy, it seems also to be the time for the deepest hurts. It looks as though it is the time when many Scrooges come out from under their rocks. We must be extra cautious that our unthinking word doesn’t add to the hurt already caused by a friend or loved one.
The Holidays are the time of the year that I like to use my favorite mealtime prayer “my Father in Heaven-We thank you for our many blessings- We ask that you bless this food and ask that it will strengthen and nourish but not fatten us-A men”.
When you write your gift want list try to put one item on your list that you can share with others.
May your Christmas be warm and loving. May the coming year be your best ever. I personally plan to wake each morning of the coming year and take as big of a bite out of that day’s life as I can.
We wish you a MERRY CHRISTMAS and a happy loving New Year.
From; that happy singing skipping six year old and
That eighty-five year old Just Bob who wishes he
could still skip.
Thursday, December 16, 2010
The Bucket List
Sandra shocked me the other day. She said “I guess we’ve done it all. We don’t have anything left on our bucket list!” Maybe I better explain, my bucket list is the things I hope to do before I “kick-the-bucket.”
My bucket list is as long today as it ever was! Due to my age and my health I’ve had to modify my list quite a bit but I still have many things on my list that I plan to do. Maybe, more important those unexpected things God puts in my path.
Just because I can’t travel long distances or that I can’t stand for long times doesn’t mean God has cancelled many of His plans for me. There are still many people in need of hugs, or people just wanting someone to listen to them, or people wanting no more than an encouraging word. It is surprising how much can be accomplished while sitting in a chair.
I’m sure God knows that there is much of His work I can still do or He would have taken me Home long ago. God never gives us things to do that He doesn’t already know that we are capable of doing. Many times we think that we have been given things to do that are way beyond us but you have to realize that He knows our capabilities much more than we ourselves do.
Many times I’ve found God’s challenges for me to be nothing more than a wakeup call. I look upon my bucket list as more of a fun list than a work list. Actually it’s more of a challenge list for me. On my list are many things that, a few years ago I could have knocked out in less than an hour, while today it may take me all of a day. That doesn’t mean I’m going to give them up and admit defeat!
At other times I find God’s challenges to me have ended up as great learning experiences. A good example is the blog your reading right now.
Many of my accomplishments of today would never have happened if I would have used some of the excuses I have heard from others, many younger than me. The excuses I hear the most from people my age are; “I can’t learn all that technical stuff” or “I’m too old to do that”. My comeback for that is; “how do you know if you won’t even try?” Years ago I learned that excuses were easy but work was hard. Just because “it wouldn’t be easy” never stopped me from trying!
I’m going to give you an example of how easily my bucket list changes; I have a greenhouse in my back yard. When I first built it I covered it with corrugated plastic panels. Through the years this plastic has yellowed and started to look nasty.
In late October my neighbor replaced one of her windows and put the old one out for the trash man. As I drove past that window I started thinking how good that old window would look in my greenhouse.
Today my neighbor’s old window, along with four others I found along the way, has replaced all of that nasty old yellow plastic in my greenhouse. When I looked at that first old window I felt it was God’s challenge for me.
For several years every time I walked into my greenhouse I would be unhappy with those yellowed panels but yet my greenhouse was near the bottom of my bucket list. Apparently God wasn’t overjoyed with them either for He knew that just one look at my neighbors throw away window would get my juices flowing and move my greenhouse to the top of my bucket list.
As you can see, my bucket list isn’t written in stone. I look upon those unexpected gifts laid at my feet by my Father in Heaven were put there to make my life interesting. I leave a lot of room at both the top and bottom of my bucket list. That way I have plenty of room for my next surprise. I don’t know when that will be but I’m sure it’s on its way. Life is good, though not always easy, but never boring. May your list be long.
My bucket list is as long today as it ever was! Due to my age and my health I’ve had to modify my list quite a bit but I still have many things on my list that I plan to do. Maybe, more important those unexpected things God puts in my path.
Just because I can’t travel long distances or that I can’t stand for long times doesn’t mean God has cancelled many of His plans for me. There are still many people in need of hugs, or people just wanting someone to listen to them, or people wanting no more than an encouraging word. It is surprising how much can be accomplished while sitting in a chair.
I’m sure God knows that there is much of His work I can still do or He would have taken me Home long ago. God never gives us things to do that He doesn’t already know that we are capable of doing. Many times we think that we have been given things to do that are way beyond us but you have to realize that He knows our capabilities much more than we ourselves do.
Many times I’ve found God’s challenges for me to be nothing more than a wakeup call. I look upon my bucket list as more of a fun list than a work list. Actually it’s more of a challenge list for me. On my list are many things that, a few years ago I could have knocked out in less than an hour, while today it may take me all of a day. That doesn’t mean I’m going to give them up and admit defeat!
At other times I find God’s challenges to me have ended up as great learning experiences. A good example is the blog your reading right now.
Many of my accomplishments of today would never have happened if I would have used some of the excuses I have heard from others, many younger than me. The excuses I hear the most from people my age are; “I can’t learn all that technical stuff” or “I’m too old to do that”. My comeback for that is; “how do you know if you won’t even try?” Years ago I learned that excuses were easy but work was hard. Just because “it wouldn’t be easy” never stopped me from trying!
I’m going to give you an example of how easily my bucket list changes; I have a greenhouse in my back yard. When I first built it I covered it with corrugated plastic panels. Through the years this plastic has yellowed and started to look nasty.
In late October my neighbor replaced one of her windows and put the old one out for the trash man. As I drove past that window I started thinking how good that old window would look in my greenhouse.
Today my neighbor’s old window, along with four others I found along the way, has replaced all of that nasty old yellow plastic in my greenhouse. When I looked at that first old window I felt it was God’s challenge for me.
For several years every time I walked into my greenhouse I would be unhappy with those yellowed panels but yet my greenhouse was near the bottom of my bucket list. Apparently God wasn’t overjoyed with them either for He knew that just one look at my neighbors throw away window would get my juices flowing and move my greenhouse to the top of my bucket list.
As you can see, my bucket list isn’t written in stone. I look upon those unexpected gifts laid at my feet by my Father in Heaven were put there to make my life interesting. I leave a lot of room at both the top and bottom of my bucket list. That way I have plenty of room for my next surprise. I don’t know when that will be but I’m sure it’s on its way. Life is good, though not always easy, but never boring. May your list be long.
Monday, December 13, 2010
Christmas Depression
By Thomas Lane Butts, Pastor Emeritus,
First United Methodist Church, Monroeville, Alabama
It comes as no surprise to perceptive people that Christmas is not a happy season for everyone. I cannot remember a Christmas in the 60 years I’ve been a minister in which someone did not confidentially say to me: "I hate Christmas. I wish it was over." When I was an active minister, I reserved as much time as possible in December for talking and visiting with people who suffered ‘Christmas blues’. People who hate Christmas nearly always feel guilty for feeling like that even though it is obvious their feelings do not arise from rejection of the real meaning of the season.
After the death of a loved one, the first time a holiday, anniversary, birthday or any other significant event comes around, sadness accompanies it. People who have experienced a death in the family, or a divorce (which is like a death), usually find the first Christmas without their spouse or dear one to be one of almost unbearable sadness. And such sadness or depression is not limited to that first Christmas alone, the holidays can trigger feelings of loss for years.
Books do not resolve problems, but there are some books about loss and grief that can help us get through the season. Let me mention two. Before her death in August of 2004, Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross and her colleague and friend, David Kessler, wrote two very helpful books, both of which can be read with great benefit by those who have experienced loss and those who will experience loss, which includes everybody. The books are entitled Life Lessons and On Grief and Grieving.
More complicated than seasonal grief after death and divorce is Christmas blues of people who have no identifiable or socially acceptable reason for their feelings. They suffer silently, or attribute their feelings to something other than the real reason. There is often something very non-specific about Christmas blues.
One person said: "At Christmas something in you gets so lonely for - I don’t know what exactly, but it is something you don’t mind so much not having at other times."
Until recently Christmas depression and other negative Christmas feelings were ‘closet’ problems. Seldom would anyone openly admit they hated to see the season come or that they always got depressed, or drank too much, or felt cheated by a season that promised so much and gave so little.
I am not sure who ‘blew the cover’ on this great American embarrassment. But now that you know there are other people who feel this way, perhaps you can face up to your own feeling with more courage and less shame - and sham.
Children in our culture get a heavy dose of unrealistic magical wonder and expectation about Christmas, which is encouraged and reinforced by the commercial establishment. From the earliest age children are the recipients of ‘free’ gifts from a magical character from the North Pole who not only knows exactly where they live and what they want, but who strangely knows exactly what size they wear and who is able to deliver the goods to every kid in the world between 9 p.m. on Christmas Eve and 5:30 a.m. on Christmas Day.
One of the earliest grief/loss experiences of a child is the death of the Santa Claus myth. Some children know the truth long before they admit it, and even then the blow is softened by the fact that the free gifts keep coming even though the magic is gone.
Since we are taught at such a young age that Christmas is a very happy time of magic and wonder unaccompanied by conflict, bills, and responsibility, unconsciously we still expect Christmas to be like that. Christmas is disappointing and depressing to many grownups because it does not live up to unconscious childhood expectations. The fact that we are adults does not lessen our disappointment; it only makes it more difficult to express.
Christmas often causes conflicts because when families get together, feelings are intense, and people are more sensitive than usual. Many family fights break out at Christmas. People are together who have not been together for a long time, and they have changed from how you remember them.
They are not ‘themselves’, as we remember them. We are each displaced from our daily routine. All in all, it creates a perfect climate for people to be nervous, irritable, and generally fractious.
What can we do to get ourselves in tune with the reason for the season and put more joy into Christmas? What can we do to minimize conflict, sadness and our own unrealistic, childish expectations? We all know enough to create our own set of solutions. Why don’t you work on that? You really do not need advice as much as you need to exercise intentional effort.
Start early!
First United Methodist Church, Monroeville, Alabama
It comes as no surprise to perceptive people that Christmas is not a happy season for everyone. I cannot remember a Christmas in the 60 years I’ve been a minister in which someone did not confidentially say to me: "I hate Christmas. I wish it was over." When I was an active minister, I reserved as much time as possible in December for talking and visiting with people who suffered ‘Christmas blues’. People who hate Christmas nearly always feel guilty for feeling like that even though it is obvious their feelings do not arise from rejection of the real meaning of the season.
After the death of a loved one, the first time a holiday, anniversary, birthday or any other significant event comes around, sadness accompanies it. People who have experienced a death in the family, or a divorce (which is like a death), usually find the first Christmas without their spouse or dear one to be one of almost unbearable sadness. And such sadness or depression is not limited to that first Christmas alone, the holidays can trigger feelings of loss for years.
Books do not resolve problems, but there are some books about loss and grief that can help us get through the season. Let me mention two. Before her death in August of 2004, Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross and her colleague and friend, David Kessler, wrote two very helpful books, both of which can be read with great benefit by those who have experienced loss and those who will experience loss, which includes everybody. The books are entitled Life Lessons and On Grief and Grieving.
More complicated than seasonal grief after death and divorce is Christmas blues of people who have no identifiable or socially acceptable reason for their feelings. They suffer silently, or attribute their feelings to something other than the real reason. There is often something very non-specific about Christmas blues.
One person said: "At Christmas something in you gets so lonely for - I don’t know what exactly, but it is something you don’t mind so much not having at other times."
Until recently Christmas depression and other negative Christmas feelings were ‘closet’ problems. Seldom would anyone openly admit they hated to see the season come or that they always got depressed, or drank too much, or felt cheated by a season that promised so much and gave so little.
I am not sure who ‘blew the cover’ on this great American embarrassment. But now that you know there are other people who feel this way, perhaps you can face up to your own feeling with more courage and less shame - and sham.
Children in our culture get a heavy dose of unrealistic magical wonder and expectation about Christmas, which is encouraged and reinforced by the commercial establishment. From the earliest age children are the recipients of ‘free’ gifts from a magical character from the North Pole who not only knows exactly where they live and what they want, but who strangely knows exactly what size they wear and who is able to deliver the goods to every kid in the world between 9 p.m. on Christmas Eve and 5:30 a.m. on Christmas Day.
One of the earliest grief/loss experiences of a child is the death of the Santa Claus myth. Some children know the truth long before they admit it, and even then the blow is softened by the fact that the free gifts keep coming even though the magic is gone.
Since we are taught at such a young age that Christmas is a very happy time of magic and wonder unaccompanied by conflict, bills, and responsibility, unconsciously we still expect Christmas to be like that. Christmas is disappointing and depressing to many grownups because it does not live up to unconscious childhood expectations. The fact that we are adults does not lessen our disappointment; it only makes it more difficult to express.
Christmas often causes conflicts because when families get together, feelings are intense, and people are more sensitive than usual. Many family fights break out at Christmas. People are together who have not been together for a long time, and they have changed from how you remember them.
They are not ‘themselves’, as we remember them. We are each displaced from our daily routine. All in all, it creates a perfect climate for people to be nervous, irritable, and generally fractious.
What can we do to get ourselves in tune with the reason for the season and put more joy into Christmas? What can we do to minimize conflict, sadness and our own unrealistic, childish expectations? We all know enough to create our own set of solutions. Why don’t you work on that? You really do not need advice as much as you need to exercise intentional effort.
Start early!
Thursday, December 2, 2010
The Gift of Love
I received a shock when I started reading my blogs. I only then learned how important true love has been to me.
You may have noticed, I have hardly mentioned my mother and father and it was only after reading my first few stories that I realized why. My dad was a member of the Masons and it seemed that although my growing up years, whenever I needed him he was always at the temple or at work. I have already mentioned the only bit of his advice that I can remember him giving me. Basically I feel it was like when he gave me the peanut machines and then told me to expect no more. Every one said he was such a good man, maybe I expected to much.
Next I look back at my mother and as I close my eyes and think of her my first thoughts of her most often spoken words to me “Bob what would the neighbors think”. Was she really that ashamed of me?
It took my grandma and my little best friend Joey to show my heart what love really was. I can remember only a few words grandma ever said but I will always remember the warmth of her touch and oh those hugs. Again I still can feel the warmth of Joie’s little hand touching mine. I can’t remember any member of my family ever saying “I love you” but only grandma did not have to say a word, her touch and hugs said it all.
Looking back I could have told myself that I had been rejected and unloved, but that just did not fit me. As I look back now I feel that My Father in Heaven gave me the gift of Love. This was gift that had to be shared with others. Again as I look back if it was given at home and not returned it had to be found someplace else. Before I go any further let us clarify this gift, it’s from one heart to another, not the jump into bed type. I’m sure after you had a quick peek at the negative side of my brain you’re ready to go back to my positive side.
Let’s take a look back into my life: Very early there was Grandma- then Joey-the Gang ( I don’t know if I told you but no other boy was ever invited)-Cell-and it goes on and on there was always a special friend in my life.
The lessons I learned early in my life I’m able to use in my life today. I can look back at the hundreds of hurting souls up at the prison (I have spent years working a prison ministry, but that is another story), I have given out hundreds of Hug Charms (many tearfully received), each Sunday, at church I give out dozens of personal hugs (many to people hurting at the time). I feel this is what I have been chosen to do.
As I look back at my special friends I find most were female. It seems to me the girls and ladies are more willing to open their hearts and more likely to be honest in their feelings. Most men want to feel macho, they feel it’s only a sissy that would open his heart to others and let their feelings show. The exceptions are the hurting guys at the prison chapel and more and more of my friends at church.
Let me take a few of your minutes and tell you several of my stories, first I should explain, at church I’m known as” Bob the hugger” and when someone new comes in I make it a point to introduce myself. At first meeting they usually offer their hand, I tell them I don’t shake hands I’m a hugger. Most ladies hold out their arms but most men step back and take it under advisement.
Now back to my first story: I have a friend his name is Jabo. He is a keyboard player, I call him the last of the great saloon keyboard players, the first time we met I held out my arms Jabo stepped back looked at me and then he said “I don’t hug men” and walked away. The second time we met I received about the same response. After several more meetings he walked up to me and said “OK do your thing and less get it over with”, after several more COLD hugs every now and then Jabo will walk up to me and ask me for a hug!
My next story is about another musician friend this time a sax player. His name is Fly he formerly was a street musion in New Orleans. Hurricane Katrina cost him his job and his family’s home. After the storm they came to live at the church. When we first met he to stepped back. He then told me where he came from it was unsafe to hug men! He to now comes each Sunday for his hug , he says the hugs help him play better.
My last story happened last week. To help you picture this story let me describe this: each winter we have people from colder areas come and spend part of the winter in our area. We call them Snowbirds. This couple had just come down from Canada and the week before was their first visit to our church. As they walked in they saw several people getting hugs. The lady said she thought that was GROSS. They went down another isle to avoid any contact at that time. She said she sat and watched and then decided our church must be a hug church, she said at times people were actually standing in line for hugs! She said all weeklong she thought about it. Last Sunday she got her first hug in church. After her hug she told me she would be back for her hug next week. After her hug and after church she walked out of the door with a tear in her eye and one of my hug tokens.
I will always believe when two people touch, both gain from the encounter. You need never to say a word the touch says it all.
Now that you have read most of my blogs you must have noticed I focused primarily on the pleasant parts of my life or sometimes I during the roughest times I have tried to smooth out the bumps and find a way to make it through with the least amount of scarring. I, like everyone else have had deep tragedy in my life.
These negatives in each of our lives have the power to pull us down but I have found that by concentrating on those little things that still bring back a smile I’m able to keep that happiness juice flowing faster and deeper leaving unhappiness no room to grow.
I’ll use the last few words in this book to throw YOU a challenge: Please pick up a pen-then a steno book yes a steno book- not just a sheet of paper. Now start writing about the times in your life that bring back memories that make you smile and also the people’s lives those smiles have touched. You will be surprised how much happiness you have had in your life and how many people your life has touched.
You may have noticed, I have hardly mentioned my mother and father and it was only after reading my first few stories that I realized why. My dad was a member of the Masons and it seemed that although my growing up years, whenever I needed him he was always at the temple or at work. I have already mentioned the only bit of his advice that I can remember him giving me. Basically I feel it was like when he gave me the peanut machines and then told me to expect no more. Every one said he was such a good man, maybe I expected to much.
Next I look back at my mother and as I close my eyes and think of her my first thoughts of her most often spoken words to me “Bob what would the neighbors think”. Was she really that ashamed of me?
It took my grandma and my little best friend Joey to show my heart what love really was. I can remember only a few words grandma ever said but I will always remember the warmth of her touch and oh those hugs. Again I still can feel the warmth of Joie’s little hand touching mine. I can’t remember any member of my family ever saying “I love you” but only grandma did not have to say a word, her touch and hugs said it all.
Looking back I could have told myself that I had been rejected and unloved, but that just did not fit me. As I look back now I feel that My Father in Heaven gave me the gift of Love. This was gift that had to be shared with others. Again as I look back if it was given at home and not returned it had to be found someplace else. Before I go any further let us clarify this gift, it’s from one heart to another, not the jump into bed type. I’m sure after you had a quick peek at the negative side of my brain you’re ready to go back to my positive side.
Let’s take a look back into my life: Very early there was Grandma- then Joey-the Gang ( I don’t know if I told you but no other boy was ever invited)-Cell-and it goes on and on there was always a special friend in my life.
The lessons I learned early in my life I’m able to use in my life today. I can look back at the hundreds of hurting souls up at the prison (I have spent years working a prison ministry, but that is another story), I have given out hundreds of Hug Charms (many tearfully received), each Sunday, at church I give out dozens of personal hugs (many to people hurting at the time). I feel this is what I have been chosen to do.
As I look back at my special friends I find most were female. It seems to me the girls and ladies are more willing to open their hearts and more likely to be honest in their feelings. Most men want to feel macho, they feel it’s only a sissy that would open his heart to others and let their feelings show. The exceptions are the hurting guys at the prison chapel and more and more of my friends at church.
Let me take a few of your minutes and tell you several of my stories, first I should explain, at church I’m known as” Bob the hugger” and when someone new comes in I make it a point to introduce myself. At first meeting they usually offer their hand, I tell them I don’t shake hands I’m a hugger. Most ladies hold out their arms but most men step back and take it under advisement.
Now back to my first story: I have a friend his name is Jabo. He is a keyboard player, I call him the last of the great saloon keyboard players, the first time we met I held out my arms Jabo stepped back looked at me and then he said “I don’t hug men” and walked away. The second time we met I received about the same response. After several more meetings he walked up to me and said “OK do your thing and less get it over with”, after several more COLD hugs every now and then Jabo will walk up to me and ask me for a hug!
My next story is about another musician friend this time a sax player. His name is Fly he formerly was a street musion in New Orleans. Hurricane Katrina cost him his job and his family’s home. After the storm they came to live at the church. When we first met he to stepped back. He then told me where he came from it was unsafe to hug men! He to now comes each Sunday for his hug , he says the hugs help him play better.
My last story happened last week. To help you picture this story let me describe this: each winter we have people from colder areas come and spend part of the winter in our area. We call them Snowbirds. This couple had just come down from Canada and the week before was their first visit to our church. As they walked in they saw several people getting hugs. The lady said she thought that was GROSS. They went down another isle to avoid any contact at that time. She said she sat and watched and then decided our church must be a hug church, she said at times people were actually standing in line for hugs! She said all weeklong she thought about it. Last Sunday she got her first hug in church. After her hug she told me she would be back for her hug next week. After her hug and after church she walked out of the door with a tear in her eye and one of my hug tokens.
I will always believe when two people touch, both gain from the encounter. You need never to say a word the touch says it all.
Now that you have read most of my blogs you must have noticed I focused primarily on the pleasant parts of my life or sometimes I during the roughest times I have tried to smooth out the bumps and find a way to make it through with the least amount of scarring. I, like everyone else have had deep tragedy in my life.
These negatives in each of our lives have the power to pull us down but I have found that by concentrating on those little things that still bring back a smile I’m able to keep that happiness juice flowing faster and deeper leaving unhappiness no room to grow.
I’ll use the last few words in this book to throw YOU a challenge: Please pick up a pen-then a steno book yes a steno book- not just a sheet of paper. Now start writing about the times in your life that bring back memories that make you smile and also the people’s lives those smiles have touched. You will be surprised how much happiness you have had in your life and how many people your life has touched.
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