The Gift of Love

I received a shock when I started reading my blogs. I only then learned how important true love has been to me.
You may have noticed, I have hardly mentioned my mother and father and it was only after reading my first few stories that I realized why. My dad was a member of the Masons and it seemed that although my growing up years, whenever I needed him he was always at the temple or at work. I have already mentioned the only bit of his advice that I can remember him giving me. Basically I feel it was like when he gave me the peanut machines and then told me to expect no more. Every one said he was such a good man, maybe I expected to much.
Next I look back at my mother and as I close my eyes and think of her my first thoughts of her most often spoken words to me “Bob what would the neighbors think”. Was she really that ashamed of me?
It took my grandma and my little best friend Joey to show my heart what love really was. I can remember only a few words grandma ever said but I will always remember the warmth of her touch and oh those hugs. Again I still can feel the warmth of Joie’s little hand touching mine. I can’t remember any member of my family ever saying “I love you” but only grandma did not have to say a word, her touch and hugs said it all.
Looking back I could have told myself that I had been rejected and unloved, but that just did not fit me. As I look back now I feel that My Father in Heaven gave me the gift of Love. This was gift that had to be shared with others. Again as I look back if it was given at home and not returned it had to be found someplace else. Before I go any further let us clarify this gift, it’s from one heart to another, not the jump into bed type. I’m sure after you had a quick peek at the negative side of my brain you’re ready to go back to my positive side.
Let’s take a look back into my life: Very early there was Grandma- then Joey-the Gang ( I don’t know if I told you but no other boy was ever invited)-Cell-and it goes on and on there was always a special friend in my life.
The lessons I learned early in my life I’m able to use in my life today. I can look back at the hundreds of hurting souls up at the prison (I have spent years working a prison ministry, but that is another story), I have given out hundreds of Hug Charms (many tearfully received), each Sunday, at church I give out dozens of personal hugs (many to people hurting at the time). I feel this is what I have been chosen to do.
As I look back at my special friends I find most were female. It seems to me the girls and ladies are more willing to open their hearts and more likely to be honest in their feelings. Most men want to feel macho, they feel it’s only a sissy that would open his heart to others and let their feelings show. The exceptions are the hurting guys at the prison chapel and more and more of my friends at church.
Let me take a few of your minutes and tell you several of my stories, first I should explain, at church I’m known as” Bob the hugger” and when someone new comes in I make it a point to introduce myself. At first meeting they usually offer their hand, I tell them I don’t shake hands I’m a hugger. Most ladies hold out their arms but most men step back and take it under advisement.
Now back to my first story: I have a friend his name is Jabo. He is a keyboard player, I call him the last of the great saloon keyboard players, the first time we met I held out my arms Jabo stepped back looked at me and then he said “I don’t hug men” and walked away. The second time we met I received about the same response. After several more meetings he walked up to me and said “OK do your thing and less get it over with”, after several more COLD hugs every now and then Jabo will walk up to me and ask me for a hug!
My next story is about another musician friend this time a sax player. His name is Fly he formerly was a street musion in New Orleans. Hurricane Katrina cost him his job and his family’s home. After the storm they came to live at the church. When we first met he to stepped back. He then told me where he came from it was unsafe to hug men! He to now comes each Sunday for his hug , he says the hugs help him play better.
My last story happened last week. To help you picture this story let me describe this: each winter we have people from colder areas come and spend part of the winter in our area. We call them Snowbirds. This couple had just come down from Canada and the week before was their first visit to our church. As they walked in they saw several people getting hugs. The lady said she thought that was GROSS. They went down another isle to avoid any contact at that time. She said she sat and watched and then decided our church must be a hug church, she said at times people were actually standing in line for hugs! She said all weeklong she thought about it. Last Sunday she got her first hug in church. After her hug she told me she would be back for her hug next week. After her hug and after church she walked out of the door with a tear in her eye and one of my hug tokens.
I will always believe when two people touch, both gain from the encounter. You need never to say a word the touch says it all.
Now that you have read most of my blogs you must have noticed I focused primarily on the pleasant parts of my life or sometimes I during the roughest times I have tried to smooth out the bumps and find a way to make it through with the least amount of scarring. I, like everyone else have had deep tragedy in my life.
These negatives in each of our lives have the power to pull us down but I have found that by concentrating on those little things that still bring back a smile I’m able to keep that happiness juice flowing faster and deeper leaving unhappiness no room to grow.
I’ll use the last few words in this book to throw YOU a challenge: Please pick up a pen-then a steno book yes a steno book- not just a sheet of paper. Now start writing about the times in your life that bring back memories that make you smile and also the people’s lives those smiles have touched. You will be surprised how much happiness you have had in your life and how many people your life has touched.