2010

As many of you know, I had my 85th birthday last July. I could have looked at that number and said to myself “Well life is almost over”. But, I did not! I started looking at all of those things that had been, and were, making this year one of the best years of my life.
Today, as I started thinking and looking back over the past year and realizing just how great it had been. Then, I started looking forward to the coming year. I’m expecting it to be even greater!
It would be hard for me to count all of the new and exciting things I have learned over the past year. I look back and think about the many things I was about to start and my first thoughts were always “I could never accomplish something like that”. And, THEN I DID THEM!
This has been the year that I have had to force my positives to override my negatives. My health has forced me to develop new ways to do old things.
Of course, there have been disappointments and setbacks in the past year but I refuse to let these rocks in my road cause me to fall. I try not to let my life’s disappointments become my headlines. I’ll hide those disappointments in small print on one of my back pages.
I am so blessed to have My Friend always walking by my side. As soon as I start feeling blue, I’m handed new ideas and challenges that keeps my mind active. He never lets my brain have time to grow moss! I can’t remember a day, this past year, that my mind didn’t have challenging new thoughts or there were times when I had to figure out new ways of doing those old things. It has always amazed me how many new ideas and learning experiences find their way into my thought process each day.
I never bother with how many days I have left in life; I’ll let God take care of that. My worry is that I could miss that day’s learning experience. I know it will be there and I must be ready to receive it!
I want to thank all of you who have touched my heart this past year. Without all of you my 2010 calendar would have only been twelve blank pages with 365 blank squares. Each of you have helped make my life worth living! Thank you!!!
I expect 2011 to be the best year of my life and hope the same for you! May all of your days be positive and may no negatives ever darken your door.

Love-Just Bob

God's Answers

Believe it or not, an ad for a shower radio was the inspiration for this blog.
We need quiet time and part of my quite time is when I shower. Until I saw that ad I had not stopped to realize how many answers to the questions that I had ask my Father in Heaven had been answered in that three by six shower stall and in my bathroom.
I can’t begin to count the number of times I’ve had to rinse off, wrap a towel around and then walk out to the living room to write that answer down. Long ago I learned that answer had to be on paper before I could think other thoughts.
But, why there? Why in my bathroom of all places? Then I realized, that was one of the few places He could receive my FULL attention! I now wonder just how many answers I could have missed because of outside distractions. I’m sure that if the answer was important, He would not have let me miss it.
At first many of my answers surprised me. Each answer has been in my easy to understand English. Each answer was very clear, making it impossible for me to misunderstand its meaning. The answers were never scriptural and they never referred to the scriptures. One of my greatest surprises was most answers were under thirty words.
One time I ask God to give me a sign. That time my answer was quick and firm. The answer was “Never pray and ask for a sign. Signs are subject to interpretation. Pray and ask for an answer.”
Today’s world has many more distractions that tend to move us away from God. Our world moves much faster and with far more noise and commercialism. There is always someone trying to find a way to take away every waking moment of each of our lives. In the quieter Bible times it was easier for God to speak to that much smaller population. He had far less competition for each person’s time.
God competing for time? You ask. How many of today’s churches schedule their Sunday services around Sunday afternoon football? Do you think God will only talk to you during the half-time break?
Looking back on my life, I wonder how many of my former pastors ever ask questions of God or ever thought they might receive an answer? Next, if they did how many took the time to receive those answers? If His answers did not fit their opinions were they ever passed on to their congregations? How many really had the faith that He would actually speak to them?
You don’t have to put your shirt on backward or have a certificate nailed to your wall to have God talk to you. All you need is faith!
God will speak to each of us! All we have to do is find some quiet time so we can hear Him. Find a quiet place and teach ourselves to listen and lastly, yes, each of us is worthy!
As I learned God will always help us find a place. I can testify to you when you receive your answers from the source you always know that you have received the RIGHT answer! Oh yes: will I put a radio in my shower? No way!

Bob's Christmas 2010

Bob’s Christmas 2010

Sunday I made a shocking discovery. As I sat listening to our band and choir giving their Christmas presentation I found myself singing along with the children’s presentation, and I KNEW ALL THE WORDS. Somehow their singing unlocked that six or seven year old that had been entrapped in this body for almost eighty years!
I felt a feeling long forgotten. I closed my eyes and remembered skipping home from Sunday school singing those same songs at the top of my voice. For a few moments I was that little kid again and it FELT GOOD! When I looked toward the stage I saw myself as the little boy who cried because he didn’t want to stand in front of all those people. Or, the little girl that stood dancing and showing off in front of the crowd. Yes, I had been both!
Later I found myself speechless (a moment seldom found in the life of Bob) when a member of the congregation thanked me for my gift. “Your gift?” I questioned. She said it was my hug wrapped in the love from my heart!
I noticed the hugs being returned that day were much warmer, more from the heart. I also noticed many more warm hands being placed on my shoulders by my “non-hugger” friends. Never once was I wished a “Happy Holidays”.
I may have not mentioned this before but for the past few years I found myself having a lot of pain in my hands. Last year I started losing the feelings in my fingers! This caused me to panic because touching meant so much to me. Early last spring I had surgery on my right wrist. I thank God for its success. I still have the pain in my hand but I have all the feeling back in my fingers.
Christmas is not only a time for love and joy, it seems also to be the time for the deepest hurts. It looks as though it is the time when many Scrooges come out from under their rocks. We must be extra cautious that our unthinking word doesn’t add to the hurt already caused by a friend or loved one.
The Holidays are the time of the year that I like to use my favorite mealtime prayer “my Father in Heaven-We thank you for our many blessings- We ask that you bless this food and ask that it will strengthen and nourish but not fatten us-A men”.
When you write your gift want list try to put one item on your list that you can share with others.
May your Christmas be warm and loving. May the coming year be your best ever. I personally plan to wake each morning of the coming year and take as big of a bite out of that day’s life as I can.
We wish you a MERRY CHRISTMAS and a happy loving New Year.
From; that happy singing skipping six year old and
That eighty-five year old Just Bob who wishes he
could still skip.

The Bucket List

Sandra shocked me the other day. She said “I guess we’ve done it all. We don’t have anything left on our bucket list!” Maybe I better explain, my bucket list is the things I hope to do before I “kick-the-bucket.”
My bucket list is as long today as it ever was! Due to my age and my health I’ve had to modify my list quite a bit but I still have many things on my list that I plan to do. Maybe, more important those unexpected things God puts in my path.
Just because I can’t travel long distances or that I can’t stand for long times doesn’t mean God has cancelled many of His plans for me. There are still many people in need of hugs, or people just wanting someone to listen to them, or people wanting no more than an encouraging word. It is surprising how much can be accomplished while sitting in a chair.
I’m sure God knows that there is much of His work I can still do or He would have taken me Home long ago. God never gives us things to do that He doesn’t already know that we are capable of doing. Many times we think that we have been given things to do that are way beyond us but you have to realize that He knows our capabilities much more than we ourselves do.
Many times I’ve found God’s challenges for me to be nothing more than a wakeup call. I look upon my bucket list as more of a fun list than a work list. Actually it’s more of a challenge list for me. On my list are many things that, a few years ago I could have knocked out in less than an hour, while today it may take me all of a day. That doesn’t mean I’m going to give them up and admit defeat!
At other times I find God’s challenges to me have ended up as great learning experiences. A good example is the blog your reading right now.
Many of my accomplishments of today would never have happened if I would have used some of the excuses I have heard from others, many younger than me. The excuses I hear the most from people my age are; “I can’t learn all that technical stuff” or “I’m too old to do that”. My comeback for that is; “how do you know if you won’t even try?” Years ago I learned that excuses were easy but work was hard. Just because “it wouldn’t be easy” never stopped me from trying!
I’m going to give you an example of how easily my bucket list changes; I have a greenhouse in my back yard. When I first built it I covered it with corrugated plastic panels. Through the years this plastic has yellowed and started to look nasty.
In late October my neighbor replaced one of her windows and put the old one out for the trash man. As I drove past that window I started thinking how good that old window would look in my greenhouse.
Today my neighbor’s old window, along with four others I found along the way, has replaced all of that nasty old yellow plastic in my greenhouse. When I looked at that first old window I felt it was God’s challenge for me.
For several years every time I walked into my greenhouse I would be unhappy with those yellowed panels but yet my greenhouse was near the bottom of my bucket list. Apparently God wasn’t overjoyed with them either for He knew that just one look at my neighbors throw away window would get my juices flowing and move my greenhouse to the top of my bucket list.
As you can see, my bucket list isn’t written in stone. I look upon those unexpected gifts laid at my feet by my Father in Heaven were put there to make my life interesting. I leave a lot of room at both the top and bottom of my bucket list. That way I have plenty of room for my next surprise. I don’t know when that will be but I’m sure it’s on its way. Life is good, though not always easy, but never boring. May your list be long.

Christmas Depression

By Thomas Lane Butts, Pastor Emeritus,
First United Methodist Church, Monroeville, Alabama

It comes as no surprise to perceptive people that Christmas is not a happy season for everyone. I cannot remember a Christmas in the 60 years I’ve been a minister in which someone did not confidentially say to me: "I hate Christmas. I wish it was over." When I was an active minister, I reserved as much time as possible in December for talking and visiting with people who suffered ‘Christmas blues’. People who hate Christmas nearly always feel guilty for feeling like that even though it is obvious their feelings do not arise from rejection of the real meaning of the season.
After the death of a loved one, the first time a holiday, anniversary, birthday or any other significant event comes around, sadness accompanies it. People who have experienced a death in the family, or a divorce (which is like a death), usually find the first Christmas without their spouse or dear one to be one of almost unbearable sadness. And such sadness or depression is not limited to that first Christmas alone, the holidays can trigger feelings of loss for years.
Books do not resolve problems, but there are some books about loss and grief that can help us get through the season. Let me mention two. Before her death in August of 2004, Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross and her colleague and friend, David Kessler, wrote two very helpful books, both of which can be read with great benefit by those who have experienced loss and those who will experience loss, which includes everybody. The books are entitled Life Lessons and On Grief and Grieving.
More complicated than seasonal grief after death and divorce is Christmas blues of people who have no identifiable or socially acceptable reason for their feelings. They suffer silently, or attribute their feelings to something other than the real reason. There is often something very non-specific about Christmas blues.
One person said: "At Christmas something in you gets so lonely for - I don’t know what exactly, but it is something you don’t mind so much not having at other times."
Until recently Christmas depression and other negative Christmas feelings were ‘closet’ problems. Seldom would anyone openly admit they hated to see the season come or that they always got depressed, or drank too much, or felt cheated by a season that promised so much and gave so little.
I am not sure who ‘blew the cover’ on this great American embarrassment. But now that you know there are other people who feel this way, perhaps you can face up to your own feeling with more courage and less shame - and sham.
Children in our culture get a heavy dose of unrealistic magical wonder and expectation about Christmas, which is encouraged and reinforced by the commercial establishment. From the earliest age children are the recipients of ‘free’ gifts from a magical character from the North Pole who not only knows exactly where they live and what they want, but who strangely knows exactly what size they wear and who is able to deliver the goods to every kid in the world between 9 p.m. on Christmas Eve and 5:30 a.m. on Christmas Day.
One of the earliest grief/loss experiences of a child is the death of the Santa Claus myth. Some children know the truth long before they admit it, and even then the blow is softened by the fact that the free gifts keep coming even though the magic is gone.
Since we are taught at such a young age that Christmas is a very happy time of magic and wonder unaccompanied by conflict, bills, and responsibility, unconsciously we still expect Christmas to be like that. Christmas is disappointing and depressing to many grownups because it does not live up to unconscious childhood expectations. The fact that we are adults does not lessen our disappointment; it only makes it more difficult to express.
Christmas often causes conflicts because when families get together, feelings are intense, and people are more sensitive than usual. Many family fights break out at Christmas. People are together who have not been together for a long time, and they have changed from how you remember them.
They are not ‘themselves’, as we remember them. We are each displaced from our daily routine. All in all, it creates a perfect climate for people to be nervous, irritable, and generally fractious.
What can we do to get ourselves in tune with the reason for the season and put more joy into Christmas? What can we do to minimize conflict, sadness and our own unrealistic, childish expectations? We all know enough to create our own set of solutions. Why don’t you work on that? You really do not need advice as much as you need to exercise intentional effort.

Start early!

The Gift of Love

I received a shock when I started reading my blogs. I only then learned how important true love has been to me.
You may have noticed, I have hardly mentioned my mother and father and it was only after reading my first few stories that I realized why. My dad was a member of the Masons and it seemed that although my growing up years, whenever I needed him he was always at the temple or at work. I have already mentioned the only bit of his advice that I can remember him giving me. Basically I feel it was like when he gave me the peanut machines and then told me to expect no more. Every one said he was such a good man, maybe I expected to much.
Next I look back at my mother and as I close my eyes and think of her my first thoughts of her most often spoken words to me “Bob what would the neighbors think”. Was she really that ashamed of me?
It took my grandma and my little best friend Joey to show my heart what love really was. I can remember only a few words grandma ever said but I will always remember the warmth of her touch and oh those hugs. Again I still can feel the warmth of Joie’s little hand touching mine. I can’t remember any member of my family ever saying “I love you” but only grandma did not have to say a word, her touch and hugs said it all.
Looking back I could have told myself that I had been rejected and unloved, but that just did not fit me. As I look back now I feel that My Father in Heaven gave me the gift of Love. This was gift that had to be shared with others. Again as I look back if it was given at home and not returned it had to be found someplace else. Before I go any further let us clarify this gift, it’s from one heart to another, not the jump into bed type. I’m sure after you had a quick peek at the negative side of my brain you’re ready to go back to my positive side.
Let’s take a look back into my life: Very early there was Grandma- then Joey-the Gang ( I don’t know if I told you but no other boy was ever invited)-Cell-and it goes on and on there was always a special friend in my life.
The lessons I learned early in my life I’m able to use in my life today. I can look back at the hundreds of hurting souls up at the prison (I have spent years working a prison ministry, but that is another story), I have given out hundreds of Hug Charms (many tearfully received), each Sunday, at church I give out dozens of personal hugs (many to people hurting at the time). I feel this is what I have been chosen to do.
As I look back at my special friends I find most were female. It seems to me the girls and ladies are more willing to open their hearts and more likely to be honest in their feelings. Most men want to feel macho, they feel it’s only a sissy that would open his heart to others and let their feelings show. The exceptions are the hurting guys at the prison chapel and more and more of my friends at church.
Let me take a few of your minutes and tell you several of my stories, first I should explain, at church I’m known as” Bob the hugger” and when someone new comes in I make it a point to introduce myself. At first meeting they usually offer their hand, I tell them I don’t shake hands I’m a hugger. Most ladies hold out their arms but most men step back and take it under advisement.
Now back to my first story: I have a friend his name is Jabo. He is a keyboard player, I call him the last of the great saloon keyboard players, the first time we met I held out my arms Jabo stepped back looked at me and then he said “I don’t hug men” and walked away. The second time we met I received about the same response. After several more meetings he walked up to me and said “OK do your thing and less get it over with”, after several more COLD hugs every now and then Jabo will walk up to me and ask me for a hug!
My next story is about another musician friend this time a sax player. His name is Fly he formerly was a street musion in New Orleans. Hurricane Katrina cost him his job and his family’s home. After the storm they came to live at the church. When we first met he to stepped back. He then told me where he came from it was unsafe to hug men! He to now comes each Sunday for his hug , he says the hugs help him play better.
My last story happened last week. To help you picture this story let me describe this: each winter we have people from colder areas come and spend part of the winter in our area. We call them Snowbirds. This couple had just come down from Canada and the week before was their first visit to our church. As they walked in they saw several people getting hugs. The lady said she thought that was GROSS. They went down another isle to avoid any contact at that time. She said she sat and watched and then decided our church must be a hug church, she said at times people were actually standing in line for hugs! She said all weeklong she thought about it. Last Sunday she got her first hug in church. After her hug she told me she would be back for her hug next week. After her hug and after church she walked out of the door with a tear in her eye and one of my hug tokens.
I will always believe when two people touch, both gain from the encounter. You need never to say a word the touch says it all.
Now that you have read most of my blogs you must have noticed I focused primarily on the pleasant parts of my life or sometimes I during the roughest times I have tried to smooth out the bumps and find a way to make it through with the least amount of scarring. I, like everyone else have had deep tragedy in my life.
These negatives in each of our lives have the power to pull us down but I have found that by concentrating on those little things that still bring back a smile I’m able to keep that happiness juice flowing faster and deeper leaving unhappiness no room to grow.
I’ll use the last few words in this book to throw YOU a challenge: Please pick up a pen-then a steno book yes a steno book- not just a sheet of paper. Now start writing about the times in your life that bring back memories that make you smile and also the people’s lives those smiles have touched. You will be surprised how much happiness you have had in your life and how many people your life has touched.

Does God Wear Jeans

STOP! Don’t read another word until you go to my Facebook page (Bob Shanklin) and tell me your minds-eye impression of what you feel God looks like.
I’m sorry for that interruption but I felt this blog could change the way your minds-eye would look at Him.
For my first few years when I thought of God I thought of him as an old bearded man wearing a robe and living in the clouds.
The more I thought about that the more I realized that vision just didn’t work for me. I knew God was always by my side and if He was always by my side and the source of all knowledge why on earth would He wear a long white robe in my yard? In no time that long robe would be covered with sand-burs, Devil’s darning needles, and beggar’s lice. That doesn’t even count the sand and dirt. It was then I then realized there had to be something wrong with my vision.
All the artists and sculptures picture Him dressed in old Mid-Eastern garb, like you would see in Jesus’ time. But, this is over 2000 years later, that long white robe stuff just didn’t fit into today!
If I’m working in the yard in jeans, I picture Him beside me also in jeans! If I’m walking at the edge of the surf I picture Him in shorts! I know He is walking with me because when I look back over my shoulder I only see one set of barefoot prints. That’s because He is carrying me! Even when I picture Eternity there is no way that I picture Him in a long white robe.
When My Friend speaks to me he speaks in everyday American English. So, why should I expect Him to dress differently from my other friends?
In my mind’s eye, I picture Him as a middle age man. I feel He would be well shaven with possibly a well trimmed beard. Shaving and trimming are far easier today than the God depicted in artists visualizations of thousands of years ago.
I can picture Him possibly wearing a suit, never a $500 one, and NO tie. I’m sure it would be impossible to convince one with ALL knowledge to ever wear a tie!
As you can see, I picture God as a modern day friend. Someone you or I can feel comfortable with being in His presence.
After walking side by side with Him for my many years it’s very hard to think of Him as anything but a best friend. I’m sorry, try as I might I just can’t picture Him in that long white robe. In jeans? Yes.
Since I started thinking about this blog I have asked many others their thought on God’s looks. I have been surprised by the many responses. We all know there is but one God. But, each person feels that He isTHEIR God and each sees Him differently. I find each person’s vision differs. In describing Him, the description is always of my God, never our God. Their vision is much like their finger prints, no two are just alike.
Those of us that speak to Him as our Friend tend to have a more relaxed impression of Him. Maybe, that’s because we look upon Him as we would any good friend. I find myself speaking to Him as I would to you or any other friend. We talk as friends, with respect, but without “prayer talk”, just plain English.
I feel comfortable with my God and I feel my God feels comfortable with me.

Sandra said: “ He must look human, because we are created in His image”.

Now tell me how YOU see Him.

Love or Hate

I have been amazed by the number of people I have talked to that told me they hate themselves! Many of those I talked to have been young people! Peer pressure has been almost unbearable for many. Many are unhappy because their bodies look nothing like those they see on TV.
Many have expressed hate of their bodies or parts of their bodies. I have also found, you don’t have long to wait until they point out the part of their bodies they feel is unattractive, or sometimes in their own words “UGLY”. It seems as though they pride themselves in showing others what they feel is their “Bad points”.
People could learn much from that always berated used car salesman. You can bet your last dollar that man will not point out any bad features of any car you’re looking at! Like that salesman, only hunt out your good points, because each time you start thinking about those features that make you unhappy and then broadcast them to the world your negative thoughts of you are not only pulling yourself down but also the world around you. Would you ever consider buying a car from a person with YOUR attitude?
Life is nothing more than a selling field and you are not only the seller, but you are also the buyer!
Before we were born God chose who he wanted us to be. He chose our mother and our father. He chose our skin color. He chose the place where we were to be born. If you’re unhappy with you, DON’T Blame God. He gave us one more gift. He gave us “our free agency” (our right to mess-up)! He gave us the right to mess-up our bodies and also our lives! Much of what we don’t like about ourselves we did to ourselves!
Don’t get me wrong, God created few of us to be fashion models or supermen. But, each of us is a child of God. Each of us is one of God’s “chosen”. Each of us is God’s “special” people. Each of us is “important” in God’s eyes, or we wouldn’t be here today.
Now, we have to ask why if God thought we were special, chosen, and important, please tell me why we don’t have those same feelings about ourselves. Why do so many of us do things that show others we have less respect for ourselves and at times we actually do things we know are hurting ourselves?
Many drink or do drugs that make them “feel good” for a short time. For each high a person knows in their heart that the high will always be followed by a low. That high is also followed by a person’s lowering of their respect for one’s self. Sometimes that high is at a terrible cost, I know I lost a son to a drunk driver.
If you smoke there is no way you can convince me that you have respect for your body or those around you! Please tell me how you feel that both your breath and your clothes smelling like a dirty ashtray can make you more attractive to those around you.
Many of the people I’ve talked to try to place the blame on others. So often I hear: “everyone else is doing it” or even “I wanted them to love me” or just “I wanted to be accepted”. Strangely I heard many of those same excuses from the prisoners during my prison ministry! You have to remember it is ALWAYS you who opens the window of opportunity for the disapproval of oneself to enter your thoughts. Quit concentrating on your bad points. Without you bringing them up I’m sure no one else would ever notice. Set a standard for yourself, then every month or so raise the bar.
God created you the way He wanted you to be. Don’t go through the rest of your life trying to mess-up His wonderful creation. Friendships were created to improve each person’s standards, not to lower them. We show our friendship by keeping our standards high; this gives our friends someone to look up to. Be someone they’re proud to know. Let them raise their standards to yours not lower your standards to theirs. Love or hate the choice is up to you.

Acceptance

You may wonder why an eighty-five year old man would all of a sudden come up with a blog. Actually I had no choice because for several weeks before I started this blog I was told by My Friend to start it. At first I just passed it off, but that voice was very persistent. It just kept telling me to start a blog. I had no idea of what a blog was, I had never even seen one. That voice kept saying start your blog!
To get some idea of all of this lets back up a bit: for eight or nine years I worked with a group from my church helping with a prison ministry. I never considered what I was doing as preaching. I never quoted scriptures. I just told stories. My Friend told me to show love and listen to the hurts. I never once walked into the prison with written words. Just before I walked through the gates I would always ask My Father in Heaven to put words into my mouth that would be pleasing unto Him. Surprisingly I never found myself short on words although often the words from my mouth were as new to me as to those I was talking to.
Actually I had faith in God and I accepted whatever He gave me. I always thought of myself as My Father’s tool and not as one acting in an advisory capacity. If God is all knowing He certainly doesn’t need a mere mortal like me telling Him how to do things.
Now back to my story: a few weeks later, and the blogs turning point was when I was told “Let others teach using the scriptures, yours is to speak softly and use a gentle touch”. I’m sure by now you have noticed that sometimes my gentle touch has quite a wallop behind it.
It took me quite a while to start accepting things that My Friend told me. Sometimes I would take some time to analyze what I was told, (my excuse to stall, that never worked). Then one day the smart bulb lighted when I realized if you want to win an argument you don’t argue with God.
It would be like going to the library and checking out a published book, then telling the author to change a chapter in his already completed book. In other words: I believe everyone’s Book of Life has already been written. Yes-from the first capital letter of the first word of the first sentence to the last period after the last word of the last chapter. I believe my God has written and read my Book of Life from the beginning to the end. I accept it as written, I won’t try to analyze or rewrite my book. When My Father speaks I listen I’m not His adviser.
I do not believe every word spoken from the pulpit to be gospel. I’ve walked from a church service with questions and doubts. That is the reason that I started going to My Father, My Friend for answers. It took me a while to learn to listen and sometimes a little longer to accept those answers.
I now understand why this eighty-five was told to start this blog that you are reading today. Because I was told to do it! Sometimes that acceptance stuff is hard to learn. I assure you the time spent is not wasted for I have found acceptance and faith are basically the same.

Beginning Again

Beginning again really had to start yesterday. It’s almost impossible to start anew if you have yesterday’s unhappiness blinding you from your future happiness. You have to let go!
It’s like the old story: if you keep trying to treat the symptoms you will find it hard to eliminate the true cause. It’s like taking pill after pill for repeated headaches when in your heart you know that the pill will only help you feel good for an hour or two and then that ache will return!
Then, after taking a few bottles of pills, you realize you have two choices left. You have to find a stronger pill and continue to treat the symptom or you have to go to the doctor and find a way to treat the headache’s cause.
Beginning again is similar to that headache. Many times I have talked to people that have tried to start their lives over only to find that a short time later they felt themselves back in the same old rut.
Unless you search out the cause of your unhappiness, and sometimes you find it hard to admit that YOU are the cause, your trying to begin again is just a fruitless exercise. The land of beginning again has many new residents but far fewer long term folks.
If you have messed up your life and now you feel guilty, ask for God’s forgiveness. If you feel you have more on your plate than you can handle, turn to that Friend by your side and hand it to Him. I’m sure He is better equipped to handle major problems than any of us.
Did I hear you ask “How do you know anyone is by my side”? It’s called FAITH. Believe me I know He is there! You must learn to believe in Him. I know you can’t see Him. You can’t reach out and touch Him.
I know He is there. I have staked my life on Him being there and He has never failed me!
Each new day in our life opens up new learning experiences and new blessings. The day we miss out on the learning and overlook our blessings is a day wasted and those days are too precious to waste. God puts many good things in each of our lives each day. Ask Him to open each of our hearts so we don’t miss a thing.
Everyone messes up, some of us many times. God lets us do many of these things as learning tools. Then He has given us many ways to be forgiven for our mess ups.
I find no place in the Bible that tells me my life will be easy. I’m sure most of us have had a major tragedy in our lives. Many of us have had several. We must remember, all of those past happenings are history. They are things we can’t change! We have to learn that we can’t let those unhappy moments of yesterday blind us from our tomorrows, our starting again. There is no way we can go back and live in yesterday!
At the gateway to the land of beginning again you will notice a large dumpster. Before we enter the gate we have to make some changes. That dumpster is the place we leave the parts of our lives we want to change. It’s the place we deposit all of our excess baggage that keeps pulling us down. It’s the true key to our new beginning. We have to give up all of those old habits that made us so unhappy in the first place. We can’t start a new life if we continue to carry all of those hang-ups that made us want to start over in the first place. You’ll find some of those old habits hard to change.
God will always help you start over but you must remember that God also gave each of us “our free agency” (our right to mess up our lives) and YOU must be willing to change or it’s just the same old same old. There is no way we can say a prayer and then just sit back and expect God to do all the work! We have to show God we are willing to do our part. In my years I have noticed that the prayers most answered are the prayers in which we are willing to help. With each expected answer to our prayers to change our lives we have to show our willingness to change. Remember no place did it say it would be easy.
In her poem “The Land of Beginning Again” author Louise Tarkington wrote; I wish that there were some wonderful place in the land of beginning again. Where all of our mistakes and all of our heartaches and all of our poor selfish grief could be dropped like a shabby old coat at the door and never be put on again.

God Knows You

God knows you, but do you know God? Do you talk with Him (not pray) many times a day? When He talks with you do you hear Him? Do you want to hear Him? Do you feel He is there for your convenience, not you for His? When you talk to Him do you feel He needs your advice? When He tells you something you don’t want to hear do you try to talk over Him? Do you TRULY believe in God? How’s that for questions? It seems that many times when we think of God we find ourselves with more questions than answers.
Many times as I walked from church I found myself pondering many new questions but having few new answers. It’s hard for me to walk from a place of learning with more questions than when I entered. Why are there so many different interpretations of that one book, the Bible? It really puts a scare in me when someone tells me; theirs is the “true church”.
In many of today’s churches I have found the mighty dollar is almost as important as the teaching of religion. In the big TV churches you will find them on their knees asking for money as often as in prayer. Their overhead is so great that the money they keep asking for is really their life blood. That money is the blood that pays for their lavish productions that keep people watching. That great program is planned to the second. Their rating is as important to them as teaching the gospel.
As sad as it seems, that same dollar keeps the doors open in all of our churches. So many times the church boards are more interested in the churches spread sheet as they are in the number of souls saved. Today’s church is big business.
Often the business of fellowshipping, loving, and counseling is left up to you and me. Many of the old ideas of families together in church have gone by the way side. It seems as though there is too little time and so much to do and see. Even though today’s church is much more of a professional production and all crammed into a fixed number of minutes little time is left for “that old time religion”.
After walking out of church doors Sunday after Sunday with many unanswered questions I concluded I had to find a better way to find answers to my questions. What better way for me to get those answers than go to the source?
My next question was how, or could, I receive my answers from God? I thought up many reasons that God would not answer my personal questions. But, all of those reasons didn’t answer one question. Then my answer came into my heart! My answer was “Ask and you shall receive”!
As answers sometimes do, I found a new question. My next thought was HOW do I ask? I wondered; Do I have to bow my head in prayer each time I have a question? I thought that could be hard to do if I was driving down the highway at 70 miles per hour! It was then I thought about My Friend who was always by my side. I always talked to him as I would to another friend. Why should it be different with my questions?
Surprisingly, I never used “prayer talk”, or knelt in prayer, or used “church talk” when I talk with Him. I receive my everyday answers from Him as I would from you. I have explained my important answers in an earlier blog.
He has let me know many times that I am His friend and that He is watching over me. That doesn’t mean He will not let me mess up but even then I know He is always at my side. Of course I know Him! He is right here at my side!

Christian Double Standard

In many of today’s Christian churches we have no need to look very far to find an abundance of segregation! No, I’m not talking about the black and white segregation, although I still hear some of that behind cupped hands. I’ve heard words like: it wouldn’t happen in MY church, I’m not against gays but, I really feel our church should not put up with THAT kind of people! Yes if you listen occasionally you’ll still hear words like that even in MY church or YOUR church. In those instances I sincerely hope you are only a listener and never a repeater. Those really aren’t the types of segregation that I planned to talk about in this blog.
The segregation I planned to talk about is none of the above. This is about how differently those that have a lot and those that have almost nothing are looked upon in most churches. I’m sure in most churches they try to help those in need, but quite often that need is misinterpreted. Many pastors will tell the members of their congregation that if anyone has problems or needs to come to them for help. After receiving a few dollars, some clothing, or some food many churches will feel that they have done their part. Actually they have just put a band-aid on the hurt, that hurt is still there it’s just harder to see. If we just treat the symptom and don’t treat the cause that symptom will just keep coming back. Some deep hurts take months or years to heal, that would require many band-aids.
Just recently I heard this from a minister; “People can’t expect me to care more for them than they care for themselves.” I feel that man had a valid point. It is impossible to help a person that is unwilling to help themself.
Often after that token help you’ll find that same pastor and family “buttering up” to the families who week after week put the most in the collection plate. In some churches occasionally the ones that are in the most need are denied the sacrament because they are told “they’re not worthy”. I ask My Friend about that and He told me that everyone is worthy to take the sacrament; that it was a tool of faith. Could you see Jesus telling any of those at the Last Supper that they were unworthy?
Years ago as I sat in a church, I had the pastor point a finger at me, then he called me by name and then he told me if I didn’t change my ways I was going to Hell. I was sitting in the midst of the congregation with no way out, I was a teenager at the time and I considered dropping to my hands and knees and crawling out. I stayed until that service was over and as I walked out through that church door that Sunday, I knew I was not headed for Hell, I was headed for a new church!
My own Christian belief is somewhat different than a lot of church teachings. I believe you are the church, I am the church. Then, what is that building we go to on Sunday? That’s where we go to fellowship and possibly learn a few things about the Bible. But, to me the fellowshipping and the exchanging of many hugs with my friends and the friends I’ve yet to meet is the highlight of my week.
Next to the fellowshipping, to me, it is the music ministry. On many Sundays I find the music touches my heart as much as or more than the pastoral message from the pulpit. As the music opens my heart there have been many times my Father in Heaven has told me of his needs or the needs of others around me. A thought just touched me; the music is always harmony, what better place could My Friend choose to put a message in my heart.
I’m not sitting there every Sunday to have my pastor trying to scare Hell out of me. I’m not there to have the pastor judge me. I’m there to receive love from my friends and to try to return some of that love. I’m there to feel good about myself when I walk out.
On some special days I feel a message, sent directly to me, but coming through the pastor’s lips but most often I find that My Friend speaks directly to me.
That building we walk into on Sunday should be a place for fellowshipping and love. It should be a place of healing. It should be a place to recharge our inner spirit to prepare us for the coming week. It should never be a place for negative thoughts. It should be the place for hugs. For with that hug each will walk out that day carrying just a little love from the other person’s heart.
The Christian religion should never be a religion of segregation of any type. No Christian should ever let the sign of the dollar blind them from the sign of the cross. We can’t allow our church to direct all of its efforts to those who are already there and not bothering with those still searching. If you find your church taking the easy way by concentrating on us and not bothering with the others that’s not the Christian way, it’s just another form of segregation. It’s not God’s way!
We have to remember blame is a two-way street. We, you and me, have to accept some of the blame for the direction our churches are heading. We get out only what we put in, and to get anything out of it at all, WE have to put ourselves out there.

Other's Standards

I received this as an E-Mail from my son Robin. As I read it My Friend told me to put it on my blog as a follow up to yesterday’s message. This is the first time I have been told to use another’s material on my blog. When He considers something to be that important of course it will be used.
Once again Bill Cosby speaks the truth about life and tells it like it is:

“They’re standing on the corner and they can’t speak English. I can’t even talk the way these people talk: Why you ain’t-Where you is-What he drive- Where he stay-Where he work-Who you be-…… I blamed the kid until I heard the mother talk. And then I heard the father talk.
Everybody knows how important it is to speak English except those knuckleheads. You can’t be a doctor with that kind of crap coming out of your mouth. In fact you will never get any kind of a job making a decent living. People marched and were hit in the face with rocks to get an education, and now we’ve got those knuckleheads walking around.
The lower economic people are not holding up their end in this deal. These people are not parenting. They are just buying things for kids. $500 sneakers for what? And they won’t spend $200 for Hooked on Phonics.
I am talking about those people who cry when their son is standing there in a orange prison suit. Where were you when he was 2? Where were you when he was 12? Where were you when he was 18 and how come you didn’t know he had a pistol? And where is his father? Or who is his father?
People putting their clothes on backward: Isn’t that a sign of something gone wrong? People with their hats on backward, pants down around the crack, isn’t that a sign of something? Isn’t it a sign of something when she has her dress all the way up and has all types of needles (piercing) going through her body?
What part of Africa did this come from? We are not Africans. Those people are not Africans: they don’t know a thing about Africa! I say this all the time. It would be like white people saying they are European-Americans. That is totally stupid! I was born here, and so were my parents and grandparents and, very likely my great grandparents. I don’t have any connection to Africa, no more than white Americans have to Germany, Scotland, England, Ireland, or the Netherlands. The same applies to 99 percent of all black Americans as regard to Africa. So, stop already!!!!!
With names like Shaniqua, Taliqua and Mohammed and all that crap…..And all of them are in jail. Brown or black versus the Board of Education is no longer the white person’s problem. We have got to take our neighborhoods back.
People used to be ashamed. Today a woman has eight children with eight different “husbands”---or men or whatever you call them now. We have millionaire football players who cannot read. We have million-dollar basketball players who can’t write two paragraphs. We, as black folks have to do a better job.
Someone working at Wal-Mart with seven kids, you are hurting us. We have to start holding each other to a higher standard! We cannot blame the white people any longer!”

Standards

My Grandma was a special lady in my eyes and I’m sure in God’s eyes too. When she would discipline me I’m sure she had the fastest hand in our part of the state! Every time I see Gibbs on NCIS, with his quick swat to the back of the head, I always think of my Grandma, that was her method too.
She had very strict rules for her house but the thing I remember was the great amount of love that always accompanied that discipline. After each swat she always took the time to explain reason for that swat. It was always followed by one of her loving hugs. Anytime I did something that disappointed her she would always end with “Bob, we both know that you’re better than that” and that would be the end. That subject was never brought up again.
I’m positive that I became a better person because of her love. I can’t remember my Grandma ever saying “I love you” but her actions said more to me than repeated words ever could.
During my prison ministry I often told the men some of my Grandma stories. Many times as I walked into the chapel, someone would stop me and ask if I could tell another Grandma story. Several of the men told me they were sure if they too could have had a Grandma like mine they would not be where they were today.
My Grandma held high standards and she expected those around her to have standards too. She expected those around her to keep trying to better themselves as well.
I’m glad my Grandma isn’t alive today because if she could hear today’s ever day language I know I would see tears in her eyes.
Since I no longer have my Grandma’s guidance I’ve found myself relying more on My Friend. I know He is always there by my side but I find that I sometimes miss that swat on the back of my head on those times I mess up.
I use very little profanity in my speech. My reasoning is this; if there are words you would not consider using in church and if you consider yourself a true Christian with your belief that God is always by your side, why would you use words in front of Him that you would not use in church?
The Bible says that you should love your neighbor as you love yourself. Today I’m hearing more people expressing hatred for their neighbors. Does that mean they hate themselves? I have heard more “bad mouthing”, name calling, and out and out hatred for our fellow man than any time I can remember in my long life. I’m shocked by some of the words I’ve heard from the lips of some of my long time friends. I know that they “are better than that”.
It saddens me to see so many in America, the country I love, lowering their standards the way they are today. I feel sorry for those that did not have a Grandma like mine to teach them pride and respect for themselves and others. It all boils down to each of our standards and what we expect of ourselves.

Happiness

I believe this country was founded on God’s Will. I believe the outcome of each general election is the Will of God.
Our founders were a courageous and knowledgeable group of men. It is interesting to me that the happiness of the country’s citizens was a high priority on our founder’s list. This can be seen by reading the first line of the second paragraph of our Declaration of Independence. It reads: “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS”.
Being both American and Christian should bring automatic happiness. Surprisingly I’m finding a lot of negativity in both. If you would have been able to talk to my Great Grandma (the one that emigrated from Germany) and would have ask her the happiness question I have no doubt of her answer. Her answer would have been; being in America. She was so proud just to be here! I wonder how many native born Americans would answer the same way.
I went out on Facebook and ask my friends to give me their definition of happiness. I’ve had many replies some of them you will find below. One of my surprises is so far is no one has related money to happiness.
Another of my surprises has been the number of people that relate smiles to happiness.
Ty said; Happiness is finding old friends on the computer that you thought you had lost forty years ago. Tim said about the same; happiness is knowing and loving special people and being able to communicate with them on the computer.
Lois said; Happiness is peace of mind and loving people that love you. Anjelica said; Happiness is contentment.
Ann said; Happiness is loving someone more than you ever thought and knowing that love is being given back to you.
Vicki said; Happiness is comfort in family and growing old with people you love.
My Grand Daughter Sarah said: I think happiness is surrounding yourself with people, not things, and whether you live in a shack or a mansion; your life still smiles because you know you’re loved.
Linda said; happiness is being content with who and what I am and the place I find myself in at any given moment.
This one is different! I was a witness to this happiness! I have a friend named Joe. For a while he has had a tumor in a critical part of his cheek. He had been worried the tumor seemed to be growing. It was in a bad place because at anytime it could hit a nerve and paralyze one side of his face. His options weren’t that great either because surgery could also touch the same nerve and also cause paralyses.
Last week Joe had a MRI to help make his final decision of his fate. Unlike the previous MRI this one found nothing! The tumor was gone! The doctor said that he had no medical answer for Joe’s cure. For those of us that had Joe in our prayers we needed no MEDICAL reason for his cure. So often we don’t have the opportunity to see God’s work in action. This time God let us share in Joe’s happiness!
Now, I know you’re wondering about my definition of happiness. Instead of a definition I’m going to tell you what makes me happy. Foremost it’s a touch, just a touch but it must be from the heart. It can be a hand on the shoulder, a hug, or just a touch of the hand and it can come from family, a friend, and sometimes a friend I’ve yet to meet.
Probably next would come music. To me the sound of music I like has the ability to make me happy, to make me feel good. If that music is played by people I love it’s even better. Music just makes me feel good in my heart!
After reading what I just wrote I realize that’s my answer! My happiness is things that make me feel good in my heart!
One last thing; I find positive thinking people and happy people walking down the same path. Many of the negative thinking and acting folks have a much harder time giving their definition of happiness.

Feeling Sorry For Ourselves

Yesterday I after working several hours on my blog I decided to take a break. As I’ve mentioned before, I type with one finger and my thumb. After a while that finger starts to cramp. A good typist could have finished the work in less than a hour, but I never professed to be a typist, let alone a good one. Looking back now I realize I was starting to feel a little sorry for myself.
Most of the time, I keep CNN news softly playing on the TV in the background. I keep it on in case half the world falls off I would hate to miss it.
As I turned for my finger break I glanced at the TV and at that instant CNN was running a story about a paralyzed man that was typing on his computer using a rubber tipped stick held in his mouth. Was this just a coincidence or was it My Friend showing me how blessed I was? Whatever it was it sure worked because that feeling of being sorry for me was gone in that instant.
When I start feeling tired I sometimes walk with a cane. Several days ago happened to be one of those days. I parked the car reached for my cane and slowly started for the store. Just before I reached the door a younger person came bouncing past me and into the store.
For an instant the feeling sorry feeling started coming back. Just then the out door opened and out came a man on crouches. I looked at him and the thought that came to me was; I’d rather be me than he. And then, I walked on into the store.
I finished my shopping and went to the checkout. Ahead of me, in the line, was a young man in a wheelchair. He was very up-beat. He was talking, laughing, and joking with all those around him. It was only when he turned his wheelchair that I could see that the man had no legs! I’m sure this was another of My Friend’s lessons. I cannot remember another learning experience that hit me harder. I had heard similar stories before but this time this one happened to ME! From there on I knew if I ever again start feeling sorry for myself again all I need to do is open my eyes and look around me.
I have a challenge for you the next time you find yourself starting to feel sorry for you; Hop in the car and drive to Walmart, find a parking space that when you’re parked you can see the store’s door, plan to set in that space for about half an hour. Now, do nothing but watch the people. Look at the people going in and out of the store. Look at how they are dressed. Look how they carry themselves. Look to see if you think they have pride in themselves. Look at the families see how they relate to each other. Watch how they show love for each other. Watch how they discipline their kids. Now, I would like for you to make “snap” opinions of those you’ve watched. How many of those you have observed would you want to trade places with? I’ve done this several times and each time I’ve driven away much happier with me!
Being human any time we start “feeling sorry for ourselves” the first thing we try to do is look for someone else to blame. Stop looking out that window looking for that someone else. Walk into the bathroom and look into the mirror and there is the person to blame looking back eye to eye with you. Yes, I know you still think the fault for you feeling sorry for yourself is because of someone else but YOU opened the door for that someone else.
I’ve talked with people that continually talk about the negative happening in their lives. If we keep going down that negative road we’re bound to fall into that rut of feeling sorry for ourselves. It becomes a blinding force that hides all the good stuff (all those blessings Heavenly Father puts at our feet).
I feel so blessed to know My Friend is always by my side and as I have said before on this blog He answers many of my questions. And, as you can see, if He feels I need a strong “learning experience” quite often it is shown to me as a part of my everyday life.
As many of you know, I love music. Years ago I heard singer Peggy Lee sing a song called “Is That All There Is?” I’ve talked with people that I’m sure could easily use that song as their theme.
What song would I pick for my theme? How about Louis Armstrong’s “It’s A Wonderful World”(I think my friend Jabbo does it better) Oh Yeah!

What Is He Thinking

By this time, after reading several of my blogs, I know many of you are thinking; where is this guy coming from?.
Well here is where it comes from; when I started this blog I had no idea what I was doing or what I was going to write about. So, I ask My Friend for help (He’s the one who told me to start the blog in the first place). His answer was “pick up a pen and paper and start writing”. How’s that for help?
For each blog that’s just what I do! I usually have little or no idea of what that first capital letter of the first line of that blog will be until my pen touches my paper!
I find my outlook is helpful as all of my life I have tried to look for good points in people, even in bad people. Several times I have had my nose rubbed in my good intentions but that hasn’t changed my goal. Throughout my life I have spent quite a bit of time with people others might consider “under dogs”, the people many others feel they just can’t take the time to bother with, or people they just look past or through.
I have never looked upon myself as a “Bible pounding” Christian. Although I’m finding my strong belief that His Will is being done is maybe stronger than most. Many times I find myself accepting things as God’s Will where others find themselves “all bent out of shape” while they are trying to analyze a happening in their lives.
Any time I find my “plate of problems” is about to run over I just turn and silently hand that plate to My Friend who I know is ALWAYS at my side. I know he is far better equipped to handle those problems than me.
Yes, I heard you say; that’s easy for him to say but could he say those things if he had to walk in MY shoes? I have had major tragedies in my life, and when they happened I’m sure you would not have wanted to have been the one walking in MY shoes. No, it’s not that easy for me to say.
It took me quite a while to realize my past was to be used as a historical reference, a learning tool for others. Not a cloud to hide our many dreams and blessings our Father in Heaven puts at our feet or in our hearts each day. I try to use my past mess-ups to help keep others from stumbling over the same mistakes I fell over. We have to remember though, that many of our mistakes are put in our path as learning tools. I learned early in life God’s reasoning for the Ten Commandments being made of stone. I have suffered several broken toes while stumbling over one or two of them!
I try not to think troubling thoughts over and over. I learned they just tear me down and accomplish nothing. I’ve also learned that if I start thinking negative thoughts over and over they to quickly pull me down and start messing up my whole thought process.
At times when I’m away from thinking about the blog, I find myself being told to “write that down” by My Friend. I never was much of a note taker but now I’m much more interested in things for future blogs. It is surprising how something like this blog can change how a person starts looking differently upon their life. You will never hear me say my life is boring, My Friend sees to that! About the time I think I’ve finished one job I find He’s put two more in the hopper. It’s exciting to me each time I find that one of those one liner “write it downs” has fit so well into upcoming blogs. I have used two of them in this one.
At times when I’m writing the blog, My Friend will tell me that something I am writing will be read by a hurting someone that it was written for but I never know who that person is. That person could be you or even me.
Before I pick up my pen I always utter these silent words to My Friend; “Please help me put words on my paper that will be pleasing unto You”.
This writing thing still very new to me. Each time I go back into my blog’s archives it’s hard for me to realize that I wrote all of that stuff, but then it doesn’t take long for reality to set in, it’s then that I realize that I’m just the tool that puts the pen to the paper.
What will the first capital letter of the first line of the next blog be? That’s why this blog is so exciting for me for until my pen touches my paper we will all have to wait and see.

I Want My Life Back

I want My Life Back

Today I heard a miner talking on TV. He had been trapped deep in the earth for several weeks. He was explaining that he was having a hard time readjusting his life. He said “I want my life back”. He said that after days of wondering if he would ever again see the light-of day he found changes in his body and those changes have caused him to want his life back.
I felt sorry for that miner but I have heard that same statement from dozens of people I have talked with. None of them had ever spent a minute underground. It seems many feel that their lives have been lost, some feel it was taken away by others, but many by their own choice, it makes me feel that many willingly gave them away before they realized what a treasure they held.
I just heard a TV announcer make this statement while we were viewing a miner being pulled up that long shaft in Chile; “He is half way to freedom”. What do you think that announcer’s interpretation of freedom was? What was the miner’s idea of his freedom? What is YOUR definition of freedom?
As for the miner was his idea; a look at the sky above his head, a taste of clear cool water, a T-bone steak, the feel of his wife’s warm body next to his, or just another chance to “go out” and mess up his life again? As you can see we each have many different ideas of what we consider to be freedom.
There is a direct relationship between each person’s interpretations of freedom and how they live their lives or on “getting their lives back”.
For the next few minutes let’s dig a little deeper to realize how different people could view both statements.
For our first example I’ll use a seventeen year old girl with strict parents. Tomorrow our girl will have her eighteenth birthday. Tomorrow she will have her “freedom”. She no longer has to be home at certain time. She will have her life back; she can live it HER way.
Next, we have a person serving the last day of a ten year prison sentence for drugs (both selling and using). Tomorrow he will have his freedom, no more clanking cell doors or waiting to eat that rotten prison food. As soon as he gets his life back will we find him back on the street selling and using?
Then we have our miner who was trapped underground for over two months. We now find him above ground, he now has his freedom, but maybe more important he has his tomorrows. He will find it difficult to get his life back, if that means going back into the mine.
It hasn’t taken long, for our now eighteen year old, to realize that the “real world” wasn’t that bed of roses of her dreams. Maybe the life partly controlled by her loving and caring parents wasn’t that bad after all. Maybe, if she would ask, she could still have some of that life back.
For the man from prison, he has already found that getting that kind of life back is just more of the same old, same old. He had forgotten, while in the safety of prison he had three square meals and was relatively sure he would to see the sun the next day.
For the miner, being able to look up and see the sky was a rebirth. As one man said “I met both God and the Devil down there and God won”. He was given a second chance to live his life and to leave his unwanted past down in that hole.
The person that says they want their life back must realize that when they woke this morning God was giving them their life back!
Take a little time to think about how many “near misses” each of us has had in our lives. As we open our eyes each morning that is God’s way of saying here is another day for you. Not only does God give us that day he also puts many blessings at our feet to make that day more enjoyable. Be careful though God also gives each of us one more thing. He gives us our “free agency” (the right to mess up our lives). I feel many pastors touch to lightly on this subject.
When God saw how badly so many of us were doing on our own he send us Jesus to show us a way to be forgiven for the bad stuff we do to others and ourselves.
Do I want my life back? I’m sorry but I can’t remember losing it! Would I like to “go back”? I’m sure this body could not stand the abuses again that I gave it when I was sixteen! The answer is no.
What are my hopes for my life? I hope I wake in the morning as a normal person (whatever that is), take a deep breath, feel the floor under my feet, from there on my day and my life are up to God and me. How about tomorrow? That’s the same as today! If I wake I plan to take as big a bite out of it as my body will allow!

Being Gay

Let’s get this question answered in the very first line; no I’m not gay. Throughout my life I have had dozens of gay friends. One day I had a non gay friend tell me some gay people “look different.” I thought for a moment and then my reply was; “open your eyes and look around and you’ll see many more “different looking” non gay people.”
If any pastor or priest thinks being gay is a choice or is curable he or she is in the wrong business! It is obvious that they never learned to look deeply into the hearts of those people that walk through your church door. If a member of the clergy condemns gay people from the pulpit that so called “man of God” is nothing more than a bully or a hypocrite.
I have known gay people that considered suicide after being condemned by their pastor! I have talked to gay people that were in tears while they talked because their families would not accept them because they were gay! I have held sobbing gay men after they were beaten by people they thought were their friends. In fact, I was beaten-up, by a big bully, because he had seen me with one of my gay friends.
Whenever I talk to people I never have worried about their race, their color, or their sexual orientation. I only look at each as a child of God. I would much rather be in the company of a gay friend than to find myself with a self-proclaimed Christian that uses their interpretation of the Scriptures to segregate themselves from other Christians just because the other is gay.
In reading the Bible, we are taught to love our neighbor. I’m sorry. I looked, but I could find no place where I was told I should NOT love my neighbor just because he or she was gay.
I have always looked upon one’s sexual orientation as the will of God and not as some pastor’s interpretation of the Scriptures. That is why it is beyond my belief that a person can say that they are a man or woman of God while openly condemning God’s will.
I try very hard never to judge another person but as you can see I do have strong opinions. Even though I try not to judge others often the thought has crossed my mind that it would be great to be a small mouse sitting in the corner and listening in on some pastor’s judgment day. Just because a person calls himself a minister, and may even have a framed piece of paper nailed to the wall, and may even wear his collar backwards or have a cross on his collar he still has to show me first that he truly knows the people in his congregation and that he is trying to reach, love and teach EVERYONE.
The gay people in my life have all been true friends. All through this blog I’ve felt there was one burning question you were dying to ask. As yet, it had not been ask so I will answer your question before you ask it; No not one of my gay friends ever “came on” to me. I would no more expect it from them than I would from any other friend.
At one time in my life I had wished one of the worst gay bashing families would have a gay child born into their family. A little later I realized my wish was wrong. Families like theirs would only make a gay child’s life miserable.
Throughout my life, some of my best friends have been gay. I have been witness to the many torments and outright mean things others have caused in their lives. Don’t be a hypocrite. Please except each and every person as a Child of God. Each of us is the way God created us. We are all apart of God’s plan. Remember, we prayed “YOUR WILL, will be done”!

Segregation

Do we segregate ourselves and then refuse to accept our responsibility for it and blame everyone else? For some reason we humans can always find someone else to fault even though we know in our hearts that the blame is all ours.
How can we preach and expect equality and then speak, dress and act differently? How can we expect others to respect us if we use terms like: those people-the other ones-or just them? Not long ago I was called a “honkie” by folks that are insulted by the use of the ”n” word. I guess they didn’t realize that word is as much of an insult to me.
I have heard those hate words used in music, by people of color themselves, and the words made me wonder if the users had any respect for themselves or others or were they just out to make a dollar.
My own small fight against segregation started over seventy years ago. At that time I was a Boy Scout and I had a friend named Bill in my troupe. Bill’s skin was a little darker than mine but he was my friend and it made no difference to me.
We went on an overnight camping trip and had to sleep in two man tents. As we were choosing our tents I was shocked that no one would share a tent with Bill, I quickly volunteered.
During the night several bullies (yes even in the scouts there were bullies) kicked over our tent, called us names and beat us up. I used my handkerchief to blot up both Bill and my blood. The next morning, in daylight, when I looked at my handkerchief I noticed all the blood looked the same. I could not find a color difference between his blood and mine. That was the day I realized it was wrong to choose your friends by their outside color. I had learned that Inside we all looked the same.
When Obama was elected president I thought this would be a giant step towards equality of the races. So far many of the politicians have not let this happen.
One of my greatest disappointments has always been the different races segregating themselves. They call themselves: Latin Americans-Cuban Americans-Mexican Americans-African Americans- Asian Americans! Whenever people hang these names around their own necks they are doing nothing more than encouraging their own segregation.
Today, while listening to some speeches from the Mall in Washington, I learned about another type of segregation. I heard speakers say; “our kind of people” then “they are not really our kind”. What kind do they really feel they are? Are they pussy-cats, cocker-spaniels or are they pit-bulls? I guess I missed that part but I’m sure they were trying to politically segregate themselves.
I could call myself a European American but I would consider this or any other label an insult to my country AMERICA. To me it implies a partial allegiance to someplace else! I’m sorry but I just don’t feel comfortable with another name before MY COUNTRY’S name.
If our president would just ask the press and ALL others to stop putting a prefix before American when they refer to him, I’m sure it would get others to open their eyes and realize they too, were only segregating themselves.
Let’s try to create a greater respect for ourselves and stop encouraging others that are pulling us and our country down.
A true musician-artist-writer or friend has no need for shock value to make a point. All that is needed is for each to truly open their hearts, show pride in themselves and their country. Segregation
is only what you and I make it and if we don’t stop it, who will?
Before you sit back and feel superior, think about this: you had no choice in who you were going to be. That choice was God’s choice. You could have been born that very person you look down your nose at today! We all were God’s choice. Each of us is “a child of God”.

Carol Livingstone, a friend from from P.E.I. Canada, just sent me this thought that I’m going to share with you; Before you say an unkind word. Think of someone that can’t speak.

Prayers Answered

I have talked to hundreds of people who have told me “God doesn’t answer my prayers”. I hate to have to tell you this: God now answers every one of my prayers!
For years as I prayed and when I got to the part where I prayed “and Your Will will be done” I would mentally cross my fingers because I wanted to be in control and I wanted God to know the outcome I expected from each prayer.
I expected to change the outcome of each person’s life, including my own. I had forgotten, or refused to believe, that it was God who wrote each person’s book of life, every word, every chapter, down to the last period and God didn’t need my help trying to edit the final copy.
For years each time I got to that one line in my prayer I added one more line. That line was “teach me how to accept your will”. Many times I just could not accept that outcome because it just didn’t end the way I thought it should.
For all of my life I had been told about FAITH and most of the time I used my faith, when it felt good to me. I also felt many of my prayers went unanswered.
It took me a lot of years to realize I could not break into the middle of a book that had been finalized and change a part without knowing the outcome. The outcome had already been decided by the author!
Ever since I realized that when I pray “Your Will, will be done” and I have learned to accept that outcome, it seems that God has answered my every prayer.
Many times I have stated that God answers all of my prayers. But, I failed to mention that God tells me to do things that are related to my prayers only through that part where I pray “Your Will, will be done”.
When you really think about it, those five little words that you use so casually actually opens your heart to anything God wants of you. Sometimes, they are prayers that He answers before we realize we had asked for them. Actually, they are God’s way of telling us what he wants from us.
I’m going to give you a long winded example of what I’m talking about: My Friend told me to start this blog. Of course I said I would do it. When my Father in Heaven tells me to do something I do it! Although I had no idea of what would be involved He and I both knew I would do it.
It took several weeks to learn blogging basics. Then it took a few more weeks to get the blog to where it would come up on other computers. I was so proud of myself, I was now a blogger! Then reality smacked me between the eyes! I had everything going for me. EXCEPT, I found that when I looked at my blog I had nothing put on it! It was like having a book with a nice front cover but when you opened the book all you saw was blank pages! My blog was worthless without text on my pages! Where were those words supposed to come from? I went back to My Friend and quickly learned what was expected of me.
I had written quite a few books but they were all photo-history books that required a lot of research but the writing part was just writing the historic information, really no creative writing. Again, back to My Friend I went, where I was told to pick up my pen and paper and start writing. I sure can’t say the words you read all came easily but as yet I haven’t found myself to be at a loss for those words.
There are several things I would like to tell you about each blog I publish. First; I print out each word because after my writing gets cold even I have a hard time reading it, so I print. Next, I type out the words in Microsoft Word, I thank God for its spellchecker. I’m sure you remember that I do all my typing with just one finger on my right hand and use my left thumb for caps. I print out the first copy and then My Friend and I do the first proofing. After I make the first changes, I call on Sandra to do the final proofing and correcting. Then that article is saved on my hard drive.
From start to finish each blog requires a full day of my time. When I agreed to do this blog I had no idea my two blogs a week would take a full two days out of each week of my eighty-five year old life. If I had known about all of this would I have said yes when told to do this blog? Of course I would have! Remember in my prayer I said “Your Will, will be done”.

No Time

How many times have we said “yes” when our hearts kept yelling say “no”? Many times we say “yes” before we realize just how deep a hole those three little letters have dug for us.
When we are in deep thought or find ourselves feeling that we have to give a quick answer, we find the easiest answer is yes. Although; if we had taken a few extra “thinking” moments our answer would have been a definite no.
Why do we pick that three lettered yes over the just two lettered no? Throughout our lives we have been taught that yes was a positive word and no was a negative word. I feel if a question is important enough to ask, the questioner should allow the other person some “think time”.
Time after time, in our everyday lives, if we would have had “think time” before giving our answers we would have found our lives to be better. In real-life we also find that “yes” answer are being given because that is the answer we think others expect to hear from us even though that is not the answer we feel in our heart. We are expected to be “politically correct.” We want to avoid controversy. If you feel an answer in your heart speak-up it’s your answer. If it is a no answer so be it “no” is not profanity.
Often, in our thinking, we feel we must say yes to those we love because if we say no they’ll stop loving us. Many times a thinking loving no has a more lifelong effect on those we love than an unthinking yes. At times that quick yes just shows impatience. It may be sending the message; “I’ll say yes because I don’t want to take the time to fool with you”. Or maybe what you’re really saying is “YES now get off my back”.
In marriage a cowardly yes is a wimpy way of avoiding an argument. Many times if that person would have had “time to think” or “time to talk things over” a no answer would have been found as the only answer agreeable to both. I personally would much rather be given time to think-out an answer than to be crowded into a snap answer that I’m sure will cause controversy. How many times has a person you love said yes to you while in your heart you can feel that they are radiating a positive no? Is that yes just being said to please you? Which answer are you supposed to believe? Only you and your Father in Heaven can decide.
With today’s overloaded life we must remember we are all working with the same size brain our ancestors had thousands of years ago. Yes, I know we have those computers of today that have untold storage capacity but it still takes our overloaded brains to control our fingers to touch the keys to open all of that memory.
No matter, how overloaded we feel our lives are today, we must learn to find those few extra moments to think out our answers to the questions that shape and make our lives and the lives of others. I guess we have to find time for some “no time”.

No I'm Not

I got quite a shock the other day. A person I was talking to thought I was a minister! It made me realize that I had to set some things straight about my blog.
No, I’m not a minister, not a prophet, not a soothsayer, not a fortune teller, and I hope you don’t think that I’m some kind of a kook that just pulls things out of the sky. I look upon myself as just His tool to be used by Him at His will.
I feel that I have been blessed with the ability to carry on a normal conversation with My Friend (My Father in Heaven). If I ask questions and He feels I need to know, I get answers. If he tells me to do something I DO IT. When I pray that prayer includes the words “and YOUR WILL, will be done”. That doesn’t leave me much “wiggle room”.
I believe a diploma or any other certificate that is nailed to the wall is unnecessary when it comes to talking to My Father in Heaven and to follow His instructions. I know He is always by my side, because He told me so. Why should I doubt it? If you don’t believe He is by your side, so be it, I look upon that as your loss.
Do I speak for God? Absolutely not! I look upon myself as just another of His tools. Remember my prayer; YOUR WILL, will be done? Well the rest of the prayer is; Help me do and say things that are pleasing to You.
Before I started this blog, I was told to start it. Remember, before then I had no idea what a blog was. The first thing I did was buy the book “Blogging for Dummies” so that I had some idea of the blogging format. I had a crash course with many new words I had never heard before. It was an exciting new learning experience! You must realize I type with just one finger and my left thumb is there each time I need a cap! Think about this; He could have chosen a ten finger typist, but he chose me! So, I started this blog.
I have yet to read other blogs, but this may be good, so I can’t use others as guides. I write what I’m told to write and when to write it. I have been surprised at some of the deep stuff I find myself writing. Those times I’m sure I’m the tool that writes the words that need to be said.
The choice in naming of my blog really was not mine but the naming is now clear to me. Hundreds of people with better credentials could have been chosen to do this blog but I WAS CHOSEN “just Bob” the least of them! Thank You for choosing me, My Friend.

As an afterthought, I welcome comments. At the bottom of the page, you will find the comment section. You will have a choice of several different things. The easiest way is to sign in as Anonymous. When you comment, please put your first name or initial at the end of the comment. Thank you.

Mistakes

Before we dwell to deeply into this subject I want you to look closely at my photo on your right. You don’t see anything special? Look again as I explain; my theory is that every time I make a mistake one hair turns gray. Then, if I make that mistake again that hair falls out. Are you beginning to see the real picture?
One day I looked at myself in the mirror and was shocked to see that my top was total gray and also I noticed a lot of skin showing. That was the day I started growing my beard so that I would have more room to display all of my mistakes! Just because I was growing older I had no intention of just sitting around and watching the grass growing. I wanted to learn new things and do new things and those new things often come with making mistakes.
That’s enough about me. Now, let’s get back to the important stuff. One of the most important things we always have to remember is this; ALL of our mistakes are now history, that’s UNCHANGEABLE history, they are now in the file labeled yesterday, they’re gone. So, what good are they?
Every mistake we have made throughout our lives has been a learning experience. How many times have you heard someone say “I’ll sure know better the next time”? If you hit your thumb with the hammer while driving that nail you’ll sure know better the next time! If you find yourself saying “if I only knew then what I know now” I want you to think about this; if you hadn’t made the first mistake how would you “know now”?
A good mistaker has many of those short phrases in their vocabulary; I should have, I knew it would BUT, I was told it wouldn’t work but I had to see for myself, etc.
Are you starting to get my point? The person that says they haven’t made mistakes is a person that hasn’t lived or they have a strange way with the truth.
Success is the top step of a stairway called mistakes! Progress, learning, is built on mistakes. If you don’t know what will not work how will you know what will? When you were small you were told not to touch that pan because it was hot but you still had to reach out and see for yourself. That one mistake probably will last you a lifetime it taught you not to touch a hot pan.
We must learn to convince ourselves, we aren’t making mistakes “we’re making learning experiences”. Some mistakes are very minor, others may cost us everything we’ve earned but look upon each as a learning tool. I personally try to never let one of my mistakes cause a hardship for others. For me, I can handle a battered body or ego but I don’t want one of my mistakes to cause pain for others. I will sometimes tell others the things I have learned from my mistakes but I try not to intrude on their learning experiences.
Each person’s heart is full of their dreams. Just like finger prints your dreams are like no others. We can’t let a few mistakes bottle up those dreams. It’s as simple as; no dreams, no mistakes, no life. In my lifetime I’m sure I’ve made hundreds, probably even thousands of mistakes, I’m not going to let those few mistakes (pardon me, learning experiences) keep me from letting my dreams continue to flow from my heart.

Yesterday

Yesterday is history. It’s gone never to raise its head again, don’t try to hold on to it or relive it. It’s gone, forget it. Do you remember that big brick Catholic Church on the top of the hill, the one with the two steeples? Remember the sound of its big bell that rang several times each day?
Today that bell is silent. The doors with those beautiful stained glass windows are closed and locked because the hundreds that walked through them over the years are now gone.
Next look at the thousands of Protestant Churches, and then notice that they too have many empty pews. Then look at those sitting in those pews, I want you to notice how much gray hear you see and also notice how much hair color is being used by others to hide their gray.
What are we doing wrong? What is happening to the under 50 families? I want you to notice that I stressed FAMILIES. Seldom do you see families: mothers, fathers and children you may notice a few mothers and their children but the FULL families are few and far between.
What can we do to change this trend? We don’t need to change the trend (it’s beyond fixing) we have to change the CHURCH! We have to change it to fit today!
Each minister better become computer savvy real quick or their church will become just another empty shell. This generation is not looking for long sermons and threats of going to Hell. Those days ended with the coming of the computer, the TV, and the cell-phone. Those days are the yesterdays I’ve been talking about! Many more will take the time to read a short blog, on their own time, than to sit and impatiently fidget through a long sermon
Fellowshipping used to be a mainstay of yesterdays church. But today: if you can’t make it quick, I don’t have the time. In other words, I want a quick fix or I just will not bother.
So, what has caused this change? I think it started with Wendy’s, McDonalds, and Burger king. They’ve replaced the dining room table. Drive-throughs have replaced the kitchen stove.
Over fifty percent of the wage earners in this country are now women. Much of the time they are the principal wage earners! But, a lot of the churches are still thinking male dominance. Wake up men and churches you messed up! Those “frail” looking women are now a new class! They’re now equal partners and wish to be treated as such.
Now let’s look at the kids; it makes sense that if mom is working the kids are left more on their own, with little guidance. Many have chosen their hero’s that seem to be people that we would be shocked to find in our living rooms. If you look at the way the kids dress you may feel a little more guidance could be used. The boys; some want to look like slobs, many could use more pride in themselves and those around them. The girls; to be in fashion it seems as though they have to show as much naked breast as possible. Then; there is the cell-phones, I actually saw two people seated at the same table talking to each other on their cell-phones. Many parents would be shocked to see their kids Facebook pages. Have you watched the kids hands while they are texting? I used to think the old gunslingers of the old west had the fastest hands, not any more.
Folks are no longer impressed by fancy robes, miracles, and formalities. All they have to do today is turn on the TV and flip a few channels and there they all are. Our churches MUST learn a hard lesson. Today’s generation has been taught that if you don’t like what you’re seeing you just flip to another channel or as last resort hit the off button and look at a blank screen and that is what many of this generation is doing.
The congregations of today are dying off or drying up. Along with the Bible, today’s churches have to quickly learn some new words; blog, Facebook, tweets, and texting! Today’s leaders are going to have to stop trying to change the people. As bad as it sounds, you’re going to have to change the CHURCH to fit into today’s world or die with the ageing generations within the present day church. In Willie Nelson’s words: “We have a long ways to go and a short time to get there”.

A Negative World ?

Every place I turn it seems as though I find myself running headlong into that corner called negative. I turn on the TV to check the weather or the news but all I see is bad, negative news or news about some awful tragedies that are messing up other people’s lives. It seems to me that good news just isn’t news at all. Where are all of these people that go to church on Sundays? Aren’t they being told to love their neighbor, to help those in need, to touch just one life to help make just one life a little better? Or, is all of that forgotten when the church doors close behind them on Sunday as they walk out?
Today I heard something that almost made my skin crawl. One of my neighbors has a student in a special education class in one of our public schools. The student came home from school the other day very upset, his teacher had scolded him in front of the class for using the word CHURCH in class! I want you to really think about that! The teacher said that is school policy. I can’t believe my tax dollars are being spent to make rules like that! A public school in the Bible Belt in Florida having a teacher that is so paranoid that she would scold a student for using the word church. If this teacher is one of the best, and I believe only the best should teach a special education class. If this is truly school policy I think it’s time to make a few changes! I cannot visualize what must be going on in the classes of the poorer quality teachers. If this is the way we are teaching the classes now growing up, heaven help us when they become our leaders. If that wasn’t bad enough, I want you to think about this: Think what would happen if a poor kid lived on Church Street! Would the family be forced to move? The poor kid could never give his home address even if the school asks! Worst yet what if the kid’s father was a pastor of a ****** (sorry they can’t use that word).What if the family name was Church could the student only be called by their first name? I wonder if the word mosque is banned. Please tell me, how much stupid can we take before we throw up our hands and say that’s just too much.
When I was growing up the first thing we did in school each morning was to stand face the flag, place our hand over our heart, then recite The Pledge of Allegiance to OUR COUNTRY back then we weren’t worried about someone’s feelings being hurt. Next EVERYONE bowed their heads and recited the Lord’s Prayer. You notice I made it a point to say everyone. No negative mothers and fathers screaming that if they use the word God it will warp the kid’s lives forever. Back then it was truly the UNITED States of America, Today with everyone is afraid of their neighbor, for he might sue, it seems to me most people want that united part printed in very small print.
Whatever happened to: “accentuate the positive then eliminate the negative”? I’m sure all of us have negatives in our lives but we don’t have to let that be our headline of the day. For each negative in our lives I’m sure God gives us at least ten blessings. We just can’t let one negative blind us from all the blessings He puts before us each day.
Most of us have suffered a major tragedy sometime in our lives but now that’s history. No matter how badly we were hurt we cannot waste the rest of our lives waiting for that next tragedy to happen. If you waste your life waiting for something else to happen it probably will but think of all the blessings you will have missed while looking for the worst.
Only you can control your life. Only you can dream your dreams. Only you can talk to YOUR FRIEND and receive your answers. Start each day thinking how great that day will be. Don’t hold back for what might or what could happen. Just think: you woke up and you’re breathing! See there, you have two blessings already and your feet have hardly touched the floor!
Stop worrying about what might happen. Start looking for the next blessing. Didn’t that first cup of coffee taste great? That’s because you left the negatives in the bottom of the cup with the rest of the residue. Now let’s start looking for our next blessing. I’m sure Our Friend will put it somewhere it’s easy to find.

Does It Really Make A Difference?

I had planned to keep this blog non political but lately I have read and heard things from the mouths and pens of people that call themselves fellow Christians that have caused me great pain. So, I hope this is the first and last blog on this subject.
I want you to do some HONEST soul searching. I want you to look deeply into your heart. I am sure you feel that you are not a racist, but if our president was all white, would you look at him differently?
I know it’s hard for you fellow Republicans to admit it, but the man has accomplished many things that were politically impossible before his term in office.
I know many of you believe he only breaths negative thoughts, but take a few minutes and look at the positive things that have happened in the short time he has been in office.
Then, think of how these accomplishments could have been improved with honest discussion instead of a flat-out no or worse: hell no.
Remember when one of your kids turned three? You were so glad you both made it through those terrible 2’s. Then; one day you told him to do something, he looked you in the eye; stomped his foot and shouted “NO”. How long did it take you to explain the difference between the Indian and the Chief? I did not elect a foot stomping, NO shouting, three year old to Congress! I expected my elected representative to be like a member of the tribal council, one who could sit down and talk things over with the chief.
I feel that each of the new laws could have been greatly improved with a little give-and-take on both sides.
I don’t care if our president is black, white, red, or green, he is still our countries leader. He was elected by the majority of the voters in this, MY country. The office of my President has my respect. I believe that a person elected by a majority of the votes in a general election was put there by the Will of God and I accept it as such. It may not have been MY will but I accept it as HIS will.
I would not and could not, under any circumstance, call the President of MY country the names I have seen in other columns. I am ashamed for those so-called patriots that have no respect for our Commander-In-Chief. If we are the teachers what can we expect from our next generation now growing up!
Almost every Sunday at church I am told to love my neighbor as myself. I am not told to love the people from one political party and hate all of those from the opposite party.
My church, in fact all Christian churches, teach love. They sing songs about love. I just cannot understand where all of this hatred is coming from. Some people are standing up, holding up the Bible and proclaiming to be “born again Christians” while spewing nothing but hatred from their mouths. I call them “self proclaimed Christians”
Hate divides countries. We have to learn to “love thy neighbor as we love ourselves” before it’s too late.
Look deeply into your heart for I know my Heavenly Father will do so on YOUR judgment day.