Friendship

This is how and what I believe. I have always considered myself a Christian. But, I have found my beliefs a bit different. I am a strong believer in God’s Will. I believe much of the path my life has taken was the will of my God. I accept many of the happenings in my life as His will and try not to analyze those happenings. I have never felt my God to be like a light that could be turned off and on to be used only when needed.
I believe my God, my friend, is always at my side. I never felt that it was necessary to use special words, positions, places or people to talk with Him. And, no matter where I am, good places or bad, I have never doubted that my God was by my side.
I talk with My Friend more often than anyone else in this world. And yes, He talks to me! I address my prayers to that Friend beside me. I never tell Him how I expect things to be done. I only ask that His Will be done. I never feel He needs my advice on how to do His work.
I believe that whatever house of worship you go to, that God you worship is one and the same as My Friend who is always at my side! It makes no difference what we call Him or Her; it’s the same image that we hold in our minds eye. I mentioned Her because I heard a friend pray to Her Mother in Heaven. (Her choice)
Just what does that God look like? Some think He is some old gray haired bearded man floating in the clouds. Others think He is a fat man with a big belly. What difference does it make? The important thing is that you have FAITH that someone or something is there!
Many times I have stated that My God speaks to me. Many of the lesser times, if God’s words could ever be called lesser, are offered as blessings or casual friend to friend words. But, the important things are given to me in words so strong that they block my thought process until I write them word for word and date them! You may feel this makes me a prophet. I do not feel that way! I feel that they are things My Friend thinks are important for me to know!
Do I feel special? Of course I do! But, I believe that my God speaks to everyone, but few have learned to, or want to listen.
I believe every mortal sees God, in their vision, differently. I will never try to push my vision of God on you and I don’t want you pushing your vision of God on me!
I do not believe that My God, My Friend, has ever punished me! I have been “let know” the many times I’ve messed-up. I also know that I’ve been forgiven for those mess-ups! I do not believe there will be a judgment day the day I die. I believe yesterday was yesterday’s judgment day and that I was given today to show that I can do better. Tomorrow? I’ll worry about that after my first breath of that new day!
I have never felt alone, even as a small child skipping home from school! I have always known that I have had that unseen friend who is always there beside me. Often I’ve heard the voice, yet I’ve never seen the face. Maybe, just maybe, someday I’ll see the face, but that’s really unimportant because I always know My Friend is there by my side! You know faith and friendship walk hand in hand.

Getting Nothing Done

Sometimes it takes a long time to get nothing done. Sadly, some spend their entire lifetime! I guess, I’m one of the guilty ones! It always seems that something more challenging or exciting would pop up before I finished the project I was working on. I never had to look far to find one or two partly finished projects hanging around. Sadly, I often found that starting of those new projects to be far more exciting than putting the last “boring” finishing touches on the one I was working on.
I guess, you could call me a planning and putting things together in my head person. In my mind’s eye, I could always see that finished project, even though it remained hanging there unfinished in my work area. As soon as I was sure that my ideas would work, I would feel that the major part of my job was over! I think some would say that I had a problem with responsibility. Isn’t it strange that responsibility never seemed to enter into all of those plans that were spinning around in my head! Others could say that those plans lacked discipline.
I would just say that I was putting it off until “I had more time.” More time! I have yet to find a day with more than twenty four hours! Just where did I expect that “more time” to come from? Does that sound familiar?
Did I just hear you say; OK you’ve laid your problem on me. Now just what do you expect ME to do about it?”
I don’t expect YOU to do anything from my problem, other than learn from it. I’ll tell you what I’m trying to do about it. And maybe, I’ll tell you about a few learning experiences I’m having. I’m starting with short steps; I’ve found giant steps are hard for me to do. I will tell you about a few things I’ve learned. I’ve learned a light switch pushes just as easy to the off position as the on. That; if I eat my least liked food first it doesn’t taste as bad. And last, but not least, before I go to bed each night I try to “find some time” to work on one of those long hanging “put off” jobs. Remember, I’m still taking small steps!
If we have lived a day that we have “got nothing done” we’ve wasted that day! And, our days are too precious to waste! Our God just put so many grains of sand in each of our hour glasses! We can’t just sit there and watch each grain drop away!
To get that something done we have to set a goal. A good place to start is before we turn off our light this evening. That way, when we wake, we always know where we are headed. If we never know where we are headed, how will we ever know when we get there? We must also remember; wherever you want to go, one step at a time is how you get there.
I’ve heard so many excuses by people for not getting things done. Come to think about it, I’ve used many of them myself! I’ve learned; I have to do the best I can with what my God has given me. And I’m sure my ability to put things off was not one of them!

It'll Freeze That Way

My Grandma always use to say “Don’t make faces that way because they might freeze that way!” and that always made me think before I made ugly faces. That had such an effect on me, when I was small, that sometimes I would run and look at myself in a mirror to make sure that even my thoughts could cause my face to freeze with an unwanted expression!
Not long ago I found myself speaking in front of several hundred people, many were oldsters like me. As I looked over that group I could not help but remember my Grandma’s words! There sat dozens of frozen faces! Could they really have forgotten how to smile? If they had forgotten how to smile, could I ever expect to hear them laugh? Had facial expressions gone out of style? Had our wired or wireless communications created a generation where expressions were no longer needed?
Again, looking back at Grandma, her advice was always; look people in the eye and smile. I know this is hard to do with E-Mail, Facebook or even the phone but, I’m sure that smile that’s hidden deep in our hearts can still come through!
I have always felt that a frowning face is an unhappy face. It looks like to me that we have built ourselves an unhappy box and placed ourselves squarely in the middle of it. And maybe worst of all, many are satisfied with ourselves just the way we are!
I’m not too old to remember people singing and playing a song that went something like this; smile, and the world smiles with you. Even some of today’s music is unhappy music, music without harmony, just words and many of those words are profane! It seems as though many of today’s people find joy in bad mouthing and finding fault and unhappiness with our world today. And, sadly many of their faces show it!
In our world today there seems to be a pill for everything! I think that quite a few have overdosed on ugly pills. My grandma use to say that if some people would smile their faces would crack. And remember ugly goes clear to the bone! Would you, or could you be happy with a person that never smiles? I want you to look in your mirror, could that person looking back at you be that person?
I was so blessed to have the Grandma that loved me and taught me the value of a smile. I’m so lucky to have a Father in Heaven that sends blessings my way and gives me many things to smile about. I’ve learned that I usually can find something positive in every situation. I find that the more I smile, the more things I find to smile about.
Smile, you may like it! Smile and have a great day! Smile and let them wonder what you know that they don’t! Smile, you don’t want your face to freeze that other way!

Going Nowhere

Going nowhere can be a lifelong trip for some! If you don’t know where you’re going, how will you ever know if you have arrived?
Just living from day to day seems to be such a burden for many! Is it they can’t see or take the time to enjoy the good parts of their lives? Or, are finding the negatives all they look for each day? Are their glasses designed to filter out all the good in their lives? All those blessings we all receive each day?
This past week I asked a lady how her day was going. Her reply “It’s just another ordinary day.” I thought to myself; what’s an ordinary day? God makes EACH of my days special! And, I’ve learned that I never have to look far to find my gift. An example; today several of us were sitting outside eating breakfast together when our outdoor cat, Snoopy, sensed food and came begging. I was eating a sausage biscuit and when she came to me I broke off a piece of the sausage and gave it to her. She took a sniff of it and gave me that look that said “is that all there is?” Then she turned and walked away. The next person she came to was Sandra. Our cat gave Sandra that starving look and Sandra broke off a corner of her biscuit. Snoopy chomped it down like it was nectar from the Gods and begged for more.
Snoopy, now our biscuit eating cat, had given us all a laugh and had made that day special. Many special happenings that are put in our lives never rate headlines. They are put there just for us to see and enjoy. Some would mean nothing to others but are put there to add to our day.
Many little things are put in each of our lives every day, put there to make that day special. To make us feel special. But, we must learn to find the roses before we can smell them!
I can’t envision a day that goes nowhere! I’ve learned to look for and FIND something special, put there for me, each day of my life. Maybe some expect too much. Or maybe, they have yet to learn about all those little special things that are added to each of our days and that are put there just for us.
Several people that I talk with regularly, when ask how their day is going, always give me the same stock answer “Same old, same old.” I will not allow myself that same old, same old! There must surely be more to their lives than that continually repeated nothingness! They need to program a new destination on their GPS!
We are what we program ourselves to be! And, it can’t be what others try to make us! Unless we WANT others to live our lives for us! Boredom is a SELFIMPOSED imprisonment that we create for ourselves!
The key to our lives is nothing more than setting a goal for ourselves, setting a direction and a destination and heading in that direction. Nowhere is never the place for you or me to be. It is only the place we’re always running from or to, a hiding place. If that is our only goal it’s time to change direction and start heading for that other misty goal, SOMEPLACE ELSE!

This Little Light

For many years there stood warm welcoming yard light in the front yard. As often happens in this part of Florida the iron pipe rusted and I had to take the thing down. I planned to replace it when “I got around to it!”
Now let’s move forward at least twenty or twenty-five years. The wires were still there but, my round to it was not!
I’ll back-up a bit though not as much. Every year we send out over a hundred Christmas cards with a picture of us standing in front of a different lighthouse. We found that to be out of the question this year because of my health, so what could we do?
I decided, in early spring of 2011, that if I could no longer go to a lighthouse I would bring a lighthouse to me! I would build one right here in the yard! That meant that I would have to go from a crazy idea to a finished product that we could stand by for our Christmas card photo by Thanksgiving!
The more I thought about it with my health and our finances, the more it looked like the impossible dream. But, wasn’t I the one that was always telling everyone that if they could dream it, they could do it?
It was then; I started drawing plans for the lighthouse in my head! I included our financial limitations but, I forgot to plan for MY limitations! Twenty or thirty years ago I could dig seven or eight post holes, line up the posts, and mix and pour the cement! I was shocked to find that if I dug two post holes that I had to rest until tomorrow to mix and pour in the cement! I had to learn that each day there was just so much goody in my body and when it was used up, it was GONE! If I pushed harder it made the next day a rest day! And remember, I always had that Thanksgiving date hanging over my head!
I found that my body could only stand for a few minutes! But, I was amazed to find how much I could accomplish while sitting in that old white plastic chair! My health limitations and our financial limitations worked well together, neither leaned to hard on the other.
I only used screws in the construction, that way if my plans in my head were “a little off” all I had to do was back the screws out and do it right the next time.
Location for the lighthouse was easy because I always liked the location of that old yard light. And besides, the old wires still marked the spot!
I learned much from this project. I learned my limitations and I learned the price I had to pay for trying to extend those limitations!
It all started with those plans in my head, those dreams! Then, day by day, week by week, month by month, I could see those dreams turn into reality. It would have never happened if I would have convinced myself that I was too old to start something like that. To old? Gosh I’m only Eighty-six!

This little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine! Let it shine! Let it shine!

Merry Christmas

Judging or Liking

In many religions we are told we should not judge. But, in my lifetime I have run across several people that I just flat out did not like! Most times it was that our personalities that clashed. We did not see eye to eye!
I was assigned a doctor that, as soon as I walked through his door, this man had the ability to raise my hackles! After his first few words I knew that I didn’t like the man. And, I was supposed to put my life in his hands! One day Sandra and I were in his office when she asks him a question. Without looking at her he turned to me and said “she is sure a nosy broad isn’t she?” To me that was not acceptable bed side manner! In fact that was my last visit to that office.
He had all the qualifications for being a good doctor but I just didn’t like the man! I’m sure that there are people that I too rub the wrong way as well but at least I try to be nice to others.
God created each of us with different personalities. We can’t all be expected to march in step. We should try to have respect for others. Part of learning to live is learning when to speak and when to listen. We humans often feel that we have the ability to modify or change God’s creations. Some have used up a lifetime learning that some things are changeable and some are not. Many marriages are proof of this!
Many weddings are performed at a time of life when it hard to distinguish the difference between love and lust. Those same weddings are between those who have found that they weren’t overjoyed with a few things their other was doing. They think or hope they can make their mate into someone more to their liking! Seldom does it happen! What you liked or disliked is what you got!
After many years of life and learning I’ve found, for me, it’s better to keep my distance from the few I dislike because God created hundreds more of those I do like! I don’t like to argue. Both parties are pulled down by even the simplest most unimportant argument. A hard lesson to learn is; when an argument is over, it’s over! To keep bringing it back rarely changes its outcome but can cause longtime hard feelings!
I have found that the person who has many that they don’t like so often is a negative person. It seems like they get a joy out of looking for and finding things they don’t like in every person they meet. My years in the prison ministry have shown me that there is much good even in the so called, bad people.
In my life I’ve met people that I was sure they were “good people” but for some reason I did not like them! I found the smart thing for me to do was keep my distance from them. I did not want to put myself in a situation that might hurt the both of us.
As I close, let me give you a simple example of the difference between judging and disliking; as I sit at the dinner table someone passes me a dish of carrots. I pass the dish to the next person. I don’t like carrots! But I’m not judging all carrots; I’m not telling the rest not to eat them because they taste bad to me.

Someone Else

If you always expect someone else to do all of your thinking, what will you do if all of a sudden you wake up and find them gone? If you always think it is someone else’s responsibility to cure all of your troubles, maybe the time has come for you to rethink your life, because there is a chance that suddenly you may find that you have used up all of your someone elses! The only someone still standing is YOU!
It’s called responsibility, and it could be, that finger is pointed straight at you! And, if you are not prepared, you may feel all the world is suddenly laid on your shoulders.
I’ve found that many older folks find themselves lost when their loved ones die. Time after time I hear them ask “Why not me Lord? Why not me?” If God wanted both He could have taken both! If He wanted you He would have taken you! Remember you prayed for His Will to be done. I’m sure that God didn’t stop YOUR blessings because of your loss. Accept His Will and go on with your life.
That word LIFE, although made up of just four letters, must be broken and viewed into many parts. We must prepare, except responsibility, set goals, also we must realize that unexpected often arrives at the most inopportune times. But, it is never totally unexpected if you prepare for it in advance.
You often hear folks say; why should I worry about them? Someone else will take care of them! In today’s world I’m finding the world is running short on those someone elses and long on the thems! You may find yourself being that someone that they pushed the responsibility on to.
How many times have you said; that could never happen to me? And then, today it is happening! Don’t you wonder how many said “hurricanes never come this far north”? And then came Irene! I always try to think the best, but in the back of my head I keep a plan for the worst. I can’t remember ever being told that my life would be easy!
Sometimes we look at others and think that they have it made. It looks like everything they touch turns to gold! But, we haven’t walked in their shoes. I have yet to meet someone who walks on a path paved with roses! All of us occasionally find a few rocks in our path; it is just that some have preplanned a way around them!
Accomplishments are hard to come by if we always think that someone else has to lead the way. It is too late to prepare after something happens! Now is the time to accept responsibility and to start planning for those “what ifs.” That way if something happens to the one you have let doing your thinking, you will be able to find your way.
I’m not finished

I Was God's Choice

I had no choice in deciding; who my family would be, where on this earth I would be born, or what the basic religion would be in the area I was born into! That’s why it all had to be chosen by God! I was God’s choice and so were you!
Where ever you were born and whoever you were born to also had to be the choice of God. We were chosen by God! Doesn’t that alone make us special? I look upon you as either my brother or my sister. But I feel it is wrong for you to come into MY God chosen area and try to change my beliefs, or maybe even kill me if you can’t change me. I believe that you are walking on mighty thin ice when you try to change God’s Will! I also believe I have no business trying to change you. If you need help I’ll help you but try to change you, NO!
If you come into my area I expect you to respect my beliefs, if I tread into yours I will respect yours.
When each of us came into this world, we came with nothing and wearing nothing. I do not believe it is necessary to wear crowns and robes, symbols on our collars, or on chains around our necks to do the work God put us here to do. God’s work can be done without flashing neon signs!
We all believe, respect, and worship the same God. Then why do we think one is better than the other? Aren’t we all God’s Will, God’s choice? If He didn’t think that each of us was important, would He have created us?
It seems to me that each time we try to question the Will of God we end up with just more questions than answers. Our God created each of us just the way He wanted us to be. Do we feel we have the right to try to change ourselves into someone we feel might be more “politically correct?”
I came into this world with nothing and I will leave it with nothing. I’m not going to spend all of the time in between messing up! If I can’t make each of those in between days better than the one before, it means I have failed both He and me. Let’s accept the life we have been given and give thanks for each new breath.
Even though I believe that we both are here by God’s choosing, I can’t recall ever being told that it would be easy. If I find a time that I can make life easier for you, I will. And, I expect you to do the same for me.
All religions talk about love in one way or another. But, what really is that love stuff all about? The way I see it; it is basically looking out for each other. Not just for those that go to the same place of worship as we do, or maybe we think that this love stuff is only for people that have the same skin color as we do. The more restrictions we put on our love, the harder it becomes to find and use.
I am God’s choice, so are you! Just that makes us special! Knowing that we are God’s chosen, how could we ask for more?
I’m not finished

Our First Anniversary

August 17 is the first anniversary of this blog. When I started writing the first blog I wondered where I would ever find enough words to finish it. This is blog number 77 and those words keep flowing from my pen each time it touches the paper! Thank you for reading my blogs. If it wasn’t for people like you reading my blogs they would just be a waste of my time.

Compared To What?

You ask me “How’s my day?” Compared to what? Do you ever think another question before you ever give an answer? Inspiration for this blog came from a quote from Barney Frank made on an early morning TV show. I was sitting just getting awake with my first cup of “Bob’s high-powered” cappuccino along with my usual channel flipping, when MY Friend said; stop! There it is! And, I knew that I would spend the rest of my morning pulling those words from inside my pen to my paper.
I’ve learned that sometimes a quick reply to a friendly greeting can rise the heckles of the questioner. But, an unspoken question in my mind could give me time to give a more pleasant answer.
That; “compared to what”, mental question could be applied to many more things than greetings. With the changing of only that last word we could change the way we look upon our lives! We could change that word to; who, others, them, when, or where!
If you would ask me “how are you?”, I could give you my new answer “compared to what?” My answer would probably by “I’m great!” Why? Because more than nine out of ten people my age are long gone and I’m still breathing! Compared to those others, doesn’t that alone make me great? When we really start comparing things, it really changes nothing, but doesn’t it really change everything? Don’t we live our lives by continually comparing our lives to others?
Who are you comparing YOU to? You don’t have to look far to realize that you have it better than most of the rest of the world! It’s only human to want more. But, who are you comparing that more to? Unbelievable amounts of money is being spent each day trying to teach us to never be satisfied with what we have, we’re continually being told that we must always want more. I believe, that maybe, it’s time to stop and count the blessing we already have! Time to think, and maybe give thanks, for all those things we already have. Maybe even time to compare us to US!
In my many years of talking to people, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard them say; I just can’t seem to---, I never could, I don’t know why I can’t do ---, or even, tell me why I can’t be like them! Of course you can’t, you were created differently, so why try to compare yourself to them! I’m sure you can do things they can’t! Wouldn’t it have been just as easy to say things like; I’ve always had a talent for ---, it’s always been easy for me to ---, or when I look around I find many that are far worse off than I am. I think it would be wise for everyone to take a lesson from that friendly used-car salesman. How long would he stay in business comparing his cars to someone else’s junkers?
Throughout my life I’ve had others tell they are doing something because everyone else is doing it! I’m sorry but that everyone else thing never fit my lifestyle! I’ve always felt that if the world wanted to be out of step with me, so be it. If they want to set their standards lower than mine, it’s up to them. I’ll respect their world but I don’t have to live in it. I want to be able to compare me to me, not to everyone else!
Most of us set goals or standards for ourselves. Probably first we look around to find someone, hopefully someone we look up to, to compare ourselves to. Sadly those goals are rarely reached by comparing with others. Set them according to you, compare those goals to you, as you improve you immediately see a better you.
In the length of time it took me to finish that last half cup of cappuccino this morning, I learned a few things that I believe will change the rest of my life! Now when you ask me a question, and I pause for a second, and then you see a smile come on my face before my answer you must remember that I probably ask myself “compared to what?”

Things Change

Many times you’ve heard me say that we must keep learning. It’s up to us, you and me! We are the only ones that can pave our way into our tomorrows. And, we have to learn to face the fact that our tomorrow is where it all is. Our world is changing and we must change with it! There was a line from an old song that went like this; Stop the world, I want to get off! It will not happen, if we stop our learning, the world continues to move. It will just pass us up!
I came from a generation that had to wind a Big Ben alarm clock each night just to keep it running so it would wake me in the morning in time for school. I had a Grandma that would have been shocked if I wouldn’t have held a door open for a lady. I’m sure she would have died if a man would have sat down at her dinner table with his cap on! Being “proper” was a part of her life. Her “standards” were far higher than those we find today. Yes, things change!
Our key word is CHANGE! I’ve also noticed that I find another word used many times in the same sentence with our key word. That word is progress. We use that word as something good, bad, or even as profanity in describing today’s world.
Words, for me, seemed to be just something that popped out of my mouth whenever I was communicating with others. They flowed out so easily! Then, I was told to write this blog! That word CHANGE smacked me right between the eyes! Before, all I had to do was shut my mouth and the words stopped. There was little thought, it was just an open or shut thing!
Now, in my blog, every word is in black and white! Those spoken words that were so soon forgotten had now changed to written words. Those small easily forgotten statements suddenly became headlines and they seemed to me to be all in CAPS! Suddenly those unnoticed words I used in my conversations almost became stumbling blocks in black and white! I had to rethink every word that was there in black and white! There’s that word again! Change, unlike my spoken word, I now was able to (edit) my words before they fell on other ears! I also discovered many new key words that I had used sparingly in conversations. Words like; responsibility, respect, faith, hurt, goals, standards, learning, and maybe the most important others.
It breaks my heart to have to look at today’s “throw-away people!” I’ve seen too many unwanted babies turn into unwanted adults ending up in our prisons! I feel the very worst is intelligent kids that their only goal in life is throwing themselves away! Here in Florida, we find that for every hundred persons, one is in prison! I just can’t accept that! Higher standards MUST be set! I’m sure no one wants to be that one in a hundred!
I think my key word, in this changing world, has always been learning. Sometimes I called it “figuring things out” but it was always learning. Those that know me know that I always have several things cooking in this head of mine at the same time.
I’ve heard many excuses for not wanting change. The one I hear most often is; I like things just the way they are or the way they used to be. There is no, just the way they are! It’s gone! It’s history never to return again! You can’t go back home, remember it’s changed!
Oh yes, you ask about my alarm clock. Now it’s called an Atomic clock. It’s accurate to the second. I don’t ever have to wind it. The only thing that can make it stop is if the battery power runs out. Tomorrow it will wake me for breakfast, if I can figure out which button to push! Yes, isn’t change great?

Just the Way You Are

Today, as I sat at my computer, I pulled up my music library. As I flipped through my list of CDs I found The Airmen of Note. As I looked I found their album “Just the Way You Are.” My Friend said “stop, that’s where it is!” Meaning; that is where I will find the subject of my next blog!
I pulled that album up and on the first tract there it was! “Just the Way You Are!” Reading down the list of songs on that album I found five more titles for future blogs! Long ago I realized that my inspiration for my blogs can come from unexpected places. This one had been put there many years before waiting for me to find it today!
Do we expect more from some than we do from others? Please forgive me for referring to the prison ministry so often but that is where I learned so much. If I can’t pass that learning on to others, what good is learning?
Many times, after I had walked through that clanking gate and under the razor wire fence, I would find a few new faces in our class. I made it a point to never ask why they were there. I did not want their history to influence my feelings for them that day and all of the tomorrows that we would be with each other. I wanted to be able to look upon them as important equals, not as someone to look down on.
But, can I show the same respect for those I’m much closer to? It is a lot harder, because, I expect more from them! Maybe, too much more!
At the prison, for the few hours that we were with them, we had the inmate’s unspoiled attention. On the outside, aren’t we really looking for the same thing? Aren’t we trying to find someone that has our unspoiled faith? Someone we can talk to, just the way they are!
That, just the way they are, can be a positive or a negative. So many times I’ve heard the excuse given for a person’s actions. The excuse usually sounds like this; it is because of just the way they are! I hear this most from parents as an excuse for their offspring’s actions. Sometimes I find it followed with; I don’t understand it, that’s not how they were taught, but-----
In the late 40’s and 50’s I was involved with the big-band music of those times. Looking back today, I can remember so many of that era’s hit songs here nothing more than basic lessons of life. Usually the title was the head-line for that lesson. There was; You Have to Accentuate the Positive, Eliminate the Negative, the title I used in this blog, Just the Way They Are, and many more including the one I always use as an excuse for me, I Did It My Way!
Much of how we live our lives, how we respect ourselves, others, and our world we live in is found in our music that we choose. As I listens to the music of today and watch and listen to today’s news, sometimes it’s hard for me to accept things “just the way they are!”

Respect

Several days ago my immediate family and I sat for nearly an hour and had a family talk. All of my family is now over fifty but in all of that time we never before sat and had a true open discussion about US! Do we know each other better? I think so.
During our talk several words were used more than once. Three of those words are key words you’ll find used in this blog. They are respect, argue, and hurt.
As I look back on my life’s journey I realize I have hurt others. More times than I would like to admit! And, many times I just brushed it off. My only after thought was; so be it, that’s a part of living.
In my later life I’ve tried to better myself. I try to avoid situations that could cause hurts for others. Actually, I have been learning to respect others! Slowly, I have learned that there is more to living than just me!
Argument has always come easy for me. Many times I have felt it to be almost a game! It took more than eighty years of living and one family discussion, for me to realize that all those arguments were nothing more than an endless ladder that lead step by step to nowhere! And, each step of that ladder had the ability to hurt both! My new goal? If I or someone else takes that first step, I’m going to try to avoid taking the second!
For many years I’ve tried to show more respect for myself. My Father in Heaven knew that I could use more help with that, so, where did He lead me? He led me to a prison ministry! My first thoughts were that I was going there to teach, little did I know that I was being sent there to LEARN! I could write a book on the many good things I’ve learned from those Tuesday morning trips!
My highlight was the morning that I overheard one of the inmates telling several that were new to our class “we don’t use street talk when Bob is in the room.” It wasn’t only a show of respect for me, it was their way of thanking me for what I was trying to do for them.
For years I’ve tried not to use words on the outside that I would not use in my house of worship. I know my Father in Heaven is always at my side and I view it a sign of respect for Him. I find that I tend to shy away from others who continually use those words around me, the reasoning is the same.
I try to be the best I can around others. I try to show respect for others. If others show no respect for themselves or me, that negative attitude pulls me down. My Friend told me that I have to learn to let go. Just because I’ve “let go” doesn’t mean I’ve quit. It means I’ve put things that bother me in the hands of others. It doesn’t mean I’ve stopped loving, many times it means I love them more! It means I need more help than I’m capable of giving. My Friend has given me the ability of hiding my hurts from others but I find it hard for me to hide my hurts from me!
That respect thing is not only the basic part of life and maybe it’s a big part of religion in its self. If we have no respect for ourselves, how can we show any respect for our world around us?
When we want to argue and we think we know it all, we must remember that there is only one with ALL knowledge and it sure isn’t you or me!
And how about all those hurts? There are times that we think only our hurts are the major ones. Think again, major hurts are those WE do to others!

Yes We Did

So many times I’ve heard people say that they just could not understand what had happened to their kids! They would say that they just “didn’t teach them that way!” Are you sure? Look back, we can’t put all the blame on today!
There is no way to lay that blame on just today! We must look back over our shoulder to yesterday! We must put some of that blame on people like you and me! Why us? I’m going to use myself as an example but if my shoe sometimes fits you then stand beside me and share some of that blame. Why me? Because I’m old as dirt and I’ve been witness to much that has shaped our today! So very much of it has happened in my lifetime! I and many of my peers started our lives before the Great Depression, when times were really rough, but we lived through it.
Next came World War II and when we came home from it, I can remember many saying; if I ever have kids I’m going to make sure that they never have it as rough growing up as I had.
I’ll back up a bit; when I was growing up, each time I messed up I ended with five or ten swats across my bottom by a leather razor strap about a yard long! After a few learning lessons like that, I taught myself to become three different people. I became the around home Bob, the around friends of my folks Bob and the Bob around people that I was sure would never talk to my folks! Even while in the military I soon learned how far I could push the envelope! Looking back, there isn’t a time I remember being the only sheep, in the flock! Wasn’t I that one that said that I would never let my kids have it as rough as me?
As each of my kids grew up I’m sure they too learned to develop into different individuals as well. I disciplined my kids but not as harshly as that I received. Remember, I didn’t want it to be as rough for them!
As their kids grew up, they let them get by with more. Because, they were afraid if they pushed too hard their kids wouldn’t love them!
Before World War II most families had a dad that worked and a mom that stayed home and raised the kids. Soon after war’s end our world started a new religion, we started worshiping stuff! Everyone had to have more and newer stuff! Soon after, we found that mom too had to work, just to help pay for all that new stuff! Many thought at the end they would be judged by the amount of stuff they had!
With mom home less, the kids found they could get by with more. And, they did! Looking back I can see that with each generation we taught our kids less discipline. The kids realized that with less supervision they could get by with more and with both parents now working and then coming home tired they could get by with even more!
Today, while watching the news, I learned of a restaurant that would not allow parents to bring any children six or under! Have we lost that much control over our kids? I wanted my kids to have it better than me but I didn’t expect it to cause us to lose control of them. Sometimes when we ask for something, we end up with more than we ask! Am I guilty of the way our world is today? Yes, beyond a shadow of doubt! But, so are you!

Religion

In today’s world we find seven basic religions. But, there are hundreds, maybe thousands that found their basic ideals from those seven. Then, there are many more I call tribal religions. The Hopi, the Inca, the Aztecs, and the many tribes in Africa and the islands around the world are examples of this. We also have to count the many millions of nonbelievers and those who profess to be Atheists.
Most of today’s great religions have developed in the past three thousand years. That’s many human lifetimes but only a blink of the eye in God’s time. Along with the development of those religions our modern civilization also developed. With that modernization came an increase in population and trade. Suddenly man had to learn to behave around people he did not know!
Many ancient beliefs and religions have died. But, the world’s great religions have survived although they are finding that they have to adapt to the changing circumstances of the modern world. Many of today’s religions are struggling to modernize while trying to insure their basic creed and structure. They are finding many who want to worship their religion but they want to do it in their own “special way!”
I believe God-seekers of all religions should learn to listen to all voices. While remaining true to their religion, I feel it is important to study and learn about the faith of others. Lately I have learned; love is the basic concept of all Faiths.
I believe that every human is a child of God. I believe that there is but one God. That same God is worshiped by all and at birth we became brothers or sisters of all who came before us or will come after us.
I believe our house of worship is a place we go to fellowship and give thanks for what we have. I don’t believe it to be a place to ask for favors. I believe favors are to be asked on a one to one basis and at God’s will.
I believe war, in the name of religion is wrong. If all religions are based on the premise of love, how can it be right to kill someone you can’t convert? What have you accomplished?
God determined the region of the world each of us would be born in and the religion we would first be exposed to. Is that not God’s will?
I have a question I must ask of those who say they have no religion or the Atheist. Please give me your explanation of the following; in the early morning I walk into my yard. Ahead I see a splash of color. Moving closer I see a red rose bud with one drop of dew. As I bend forward for a better look I smell the fragrance of that rose. Who do you think put that flower there for me to see? Would it be just another happening for you? Or, could it have been a special blessing put there by God just for me to see? Could that something very special for me be nothing more than another flower for you?
For those of you that worship in a different house than me, I have much to learn from you. Maybe you might learn something from me. But, for me to learn from you, first you must come to me.
Just a few years ago almost every one we knew lived close by in our small neighborhood or were members of our house of worship. Everyone else was an “outsider” they were just a part of our “everyone else.”
And now it is today! Our neighborhood has become most of the world! Each of those “someone else” is as close as a flip of the switch on our TV or a click of the mouse on our computer. Back then occasionally we would hear some “crazy talk” of people of one religion doing bad things to people of another belief. That was always someplace else and it was being done to someone else. Maybe, if we thought about it, we felt sorry about them. For a while! And then, it was forgotten!
Today, with that flip of the switch, we suddenly find those bad things happening right there in our living room! Many times as we look we can still see blood flowing! And, it’s happening to our new neighbors! We’ve moved that quickly forgotten trauma of someone else to the center of our living room! Now! We gotta do something about it! But what?
Back again to that flip of the switch and we find that we not only moved those bad things to our living room, many of us have moved our place of worship there too! It’s great! If we don’t agree with the speaker just one click and they are gone! And, we don’t have to dress-up or even wear shoes! And, look at the many choices we have!
But it doesn’t feel quite right! Something is missing! Could it be the fellowshipping? The touch of a friend’s hand or a hug? The sound of a live voice? There are some things you can’t get from that square tube in the living room! I don’t want to get my religion from a box! I want my religion to be a living part of me and I also want to be a living part of my religion.
If my religion is not the same as yours, that’s alright, we’re still brothers and sisters under God!

Some Have To Win

Through my high school years there was a teacher I had a great disliking for. Of all the teachers I had in that school he was the one I have the most vivid memory of! He was the one that always looked down on me! He was my coach and it seemed to me that his main goal in life was to make a man out of me! I was happy to be the man I already was and I resented someone trying to make me a person I had no desire to be!
As I look back on him today; I can visualize him needing the words WIN (all in caps) tattooed on his forehead! I think he used that word in every sentence I can remember him saying. Those who were not winning (by his standards) were nothing more than trash in his thinking! I was happy with the way my God created me and I didn’t believe it was a necessary for someone like him to try to make any changes in it.
For my disliked coach, there was only one winner. Everyone else was a loser! It made no difference to him if you were improving; if you were not first you were a loser! It seemed to me the man could not understand that God had created some who could run faster or jump higher. Those were the ones he set as goals for the rest of us and if we couldn’t or wouldn’t reach those imaginary goals we were looked down on as lowly losers! Our goals had no meaning for him.
My point of view is; just because you didn’t come in first doesn’t always make you a loser. I believe it was God’s intention to make each of us different. I believe God gave each of us different talents and abilities and if we use those talents and abilities wisely more will come our way. I do not believe it is up to any human to belittle or try to change what God has given us just because they aren’t living up to someone else’s expectations.
Many times, to win, that person has to step on or hurt others. To me no trophy is worth hurting someone else. I’ve met several that have told me that winning was everything. I feel that if winning is their only goal they miss a lot of what life is all about. Do you think they could hold a door open for someone else? Or, do they have to be the first one through?
Winning or failing to win has spoiled many lives! It’s hard to compare one person’s abilities to that of another. Each person’s physical ability and thinking ability was God given when we were born. One of my beliefs is; if you find yourself to be a better person at bedtime that you were when you stepped out of bed in the morning. You’ve won!
If someone always has to win they may miss the joy of hearing one of their kids come running and yelling; “Mommy! Mommy! I just beat Daddy in ---!” And! The look on that child’s face! Yes there are times we win by losing!
There have been many times in my life that I didn’t win. But I don’t feel that I’m a lesser person for those losses!

God's Friend

Many of us feel that God is our friend. I wonder how many of us feel that we are God’s Friend? Many feel that God is there for us to call on when we are really in a bind. But, do we want Him looking over our shoulder ALL the time? Do we feel that we have some kind of a switch or some magic words we can say that will turn Him on as we need Him? And, then we would like to have an off switch to turn Him off when that need is over? Or, maybe we would like a stand-by switch to keep Him handy but out of our hair? That way we could do as we please but keep Him handy when our next need comes up!
How long would any other friendship last if the only time we talked to that friend was when we were troubled and then avoided him the rest of the time? As soon as our needs were fulfilled we were gone! Being a friend is a two way street! Each has to hold up his end of the deal. How long has it been since you ask YOUR Father in Heaven if YOU could help?
Do you talk differently when you are in your house of worship? I’m reminded of a day up at the prison; as I walked in I overheard one of the prisoners tell the others “we don’t use street talk when Bob is in the room!” I knew it was a show of respect for me before we walked into the chapel. But, for years I had been telling them that their God was always by their side! Yet, they thought nothing of using that street talk in His presence!
Do we have two different languages? The one we use in our place of worship (the one where we think God will be watching and listening), and the other on the outside where we feel like just another grain of sand on our beach of life. Do we feel we make no difference? Do we feel less important in God’s eyes, or maybe to ourselves, after we leave that holy place than we did inside? Don’t we feel the same God by our side outside? I don’t feel we should box-up the thing we call respect and then only open the box when we think He might be watching! I’m sure we’re better than that!
I’m sure I’m one of God’s friends! How can I be so sure? Many times I’ve seen impossible things happen, some of those many times I’ve had others say to me “you must know someone special!” I sure do!!!
I’m sure we’re ALL someone special because of all of the blessings He puts before us each day. Along with those many blessings we have been given the ability to recognize and enjoy them. At first glance some of those blessings may look a little scary. This blog is a good example of that! It started on faith! Actually it started with much fear! The unknown is always a little scary! But, since I got it going it has turned into one of the most satisfying happenings in my life! When I was told to put my pen to my paper and start writing, I knew that pen was full of words just waiting to come out! I knew My Friend would show me the way!
It is so good to me to have a friendship like that. And yes, we all have a friend like that! Yes, we all do! Some just don’t want to or maybe they’re a little afraid. He is always willing but, sometimes when that knock comes on our door it is up to you to open your door and walk through! If all you ever want is a stop and go friend, that’s probably all you’ll ever get. It’s all up to you!

History Starts Now

With each new breath we are making OUR history. That history is not our future, it is our past! Our planning is our future. We have to learn that our past IS past. It’s gone! We can’t relive that past, it’s over! It’s gone!
Years ago I often heard folks say; I wish I had eyes in the back of my head. They wanted to be able to look back on their past and be able to sidestep those mistakes so they could avoid them in their future. That’s what our learning is all about! We are supposed to learn from our past mistakes so we don’t let them happen again!
God knew what he was doing when He put our eyes in the front part of our heads. He put them there so we could only look forward! Next He gave us our brains (our hard drives) to store the things we learned. When He created man, He gave him a brain large enough to hold all the things we were learning in our fast moving world. And, He built in extra space to hold many new things that will come to us in the future.
Most of today’s Holy books were written way in the past to point us toward the future. In my opinion, any religion that deals only in the past is a dead religion. It is impossible to move forward by walking in the shadows of the past, walking in place, or walking backward.
Our future is in our learning! If at the end of our day, our only entry in our diary of life is; today I learned nothing! You had just as well been dead! You have wasted that precious day that your God has granted you! I hope that you don’t point to that day and brag that you wasted another day. Another “same old, same old!” Progress is not built on wasted days!
So often I hear someone say; when he and I, or when she and I were together, my life was so different. But they’re gone now! Their history is gone but your history is still ticking away! Didn’t you have much of your own life while you were with them? Then why can’t you have a life after their gone?
Each person’s Book of Life is that person’s book. Others may walk through some of the pages but it’s our book, is our history. Others have their own book! And, we don’t want our last chapter to sound as though it was written by a walking dead!
Our God gives us many blessings every day but those blessings are hard to see through tears or while walking around with closed eyes feeling sorry for ourselves.
Many say they would like to go back to those “good old days.” They can’t! Those days ARE GONE! Those days are just a part of our history, part history and part fantasy. You can’t go home, it isn’t there anymore! The only way you can look backward is by looking in a mirror! And, as you look, there you are, right in the middle of what you see! There you are! Just what you made you to be!
With each breath, each hour, each day, we add to another page in our Book of Life. As we thumb through our book, we may find things we don’t like. What better time to make some changes than this instant before it to becomes our history?

Who Am I?

Who am I? Who are you? Does any one of us ever really know ourselves? Have we lived in a fantasy world, that each of us has created for ourselves, for so long that we can no longer remember that person God created us to be?
God created each of us as his chosen image. Then, we spend many of our waking moments trying to change or “improve” on His work! Are we trying to improve ourselves or are we trying to make ourselves into someone else?
Think of the millions of dollars spent on advertising each year trying to convince us that we would look better if we looked like, this or that, someone else! God created each of us as an individual. It looks like to me, that we’re spending those millions to send us on a way that would lead us all to a make-believe perfect rubber stamp world. A world where everyone would look perfect in the eyes of those spending all that money for advertising.
I want you to understand this; I believe that God given body is our castle, I believe our duty is to maintain that body the best we can, I believe we should show pride in this outer shell that God has granted us. I feel that if we feel shame each time we look into a mirror, Our Heavenly Father also feels our shame. He gave us a special piece of molding clay (our bodies) to work with. If we have messed it up to where we are ashamed, it’s not just us, others feel our shame.
I’ve talked to many others that have told me they would like to be someone else! That is a dream that can never come true! We have to face the facts, wasn’t it really us that made us who we are and where we are today? If you don’t like what we see today, what better time is there than RIGHT NOW to start making those changes we know we need to make to help us be the person we want to be?
Many have told me that they would like to be someplace else. Wasn’t this your someplace else the last time? If we always keep running and looking for that “someplace else” how can we ever be sure if we get there? And, if we keep trying to make ourselves that “someone else”, how will we ever know when we get to be THAT person?
Many of us often play the lottery. We spend a little money and then spend a lot of time dreaming of how we would spend all of that money. Sure, we could or would, use it to make a better life for ourselves and others. It’s so easy to spend that money we don’t have or never will have. Could it be that if we would spend some of that dreaming time thinking about ways we could make our “this life” time a little better, we could?
When God created our earth bodies, he created them so they would wear out. I see many adds for products claiming they have the ability to hold back the ageing process. It ain’t going to happen! Growing old is a God given right. God put just so many grains of sand in each of our hourglasses of life. Accept that fact and learn to live each of your grains of sand to the fullest! Don’t waste your life trying to count the number of grains left in the top of your glass. Each of those grains are there for you to live life in the fullest. Don’ waste a single one!
It’s always fun for me to reflect on my many different layers and colors of my paints of life that I’ve used so far, many that I used trying to change the Bob my God created to a Bob I’ve never been completely happy with. After looking closely I can proudly say that I can still find a lot of that original Bob showing through the many cracks in all of those layers!
Sometimes I have to look harder than others to find that true Bob but yes I know who I am. It’s important for each of us to look hard at us and understand who we really are.

The Thin Line

From the time we take our first steps until we take our last step, we learn that as we take each of those steps, we do it to please others as well as ourselves. Those first few steps are toward waiting arms and we have learned that if and when we reach those outstretched arms there will be smiles and praise. We also know that if we fall flat on our bottom we must quickly pick ourselves up and keep heading for those outstretched arms to get those needed smiles and praise! Those first few steps teach us this important life’s lesson; we learned that all we had to do was please others to cause them to point their praise and smiles in our direction. And, those praises and smiles were worth it!
With each additional step we had learned just what it took to keep those people smiling! Wasn’t that our true goal? Keep um smiling! It wasn’t always our choice but it was what they expected of us. Also, we found it easier than going against their wishes. We had learned to go with the flow!
As our lives progressed we had to learn life’s lesson number two; we learned that things that put smiles on some faces brought scolding from others! We had to walk a finer line than we first thought! We had to learn things we could or could not say in front of others. We had to learn that there was a time to talk and a time to listen! We also found that there was different ways to talk to different people!
What we were learning was our fine line was viewed differently by different people! We had to set different guides for each person in our lives! Thinking back today; weren’t we trying to change our lives, the one God gave us, to try to please each new person in our lives? Weren’t we trying to please the world just to get that smile or pat on the back? Were we getting to the point that even we had no idea of who we really were?
Can we let our one life be changed into the many different lives others expect us to be? Doesn’t our own likes and dislikes fit someplace in here? I’ve heard people talk about the “real you.” Does anyone know their “real you” in today’s world? After we have played so many different parts trying to please others it’s hard to find any ourselves left!
The fine line that others expect us to be walking today has so many twists and turns that we could easily find ourselves running in circles! Our God gave each of us a conscience and each is different. Things that some find acceptable others find unacceptable. The same is true of different religions, sometimes in the same religions. Many wars are fought and many are killed using God’s name to justify those wars.
I look upon my God as a friendly loving God. I have never felt that I have to walk as fine a line around Him as I do around some of the people around me. My God forgives me when I mess-up. That’s more than I can say for some of those around me!
If you draw your expected line to narrow for me, you’ll find me stepping over it! I expect some elbow room! After all, I was born a Bob and I intend to stay that Bob! It’s only possible to change a small part of me. I expect to take every step of my life as a learning experience and I intend to take each of those steps “my way!”

God's Will

The more I have talked to people, the more selfish I have found them to be. It seems to me that most want God’s help but they want it to be on their timing and their terms! Sorry, but God does things only His way! Time and time again I’ve heard religious leaders give blessings but most tell God what they expect God to do and sometimes even how they think God should do it! Are they telling God how to do His work? Do you really think a few words from a human can change God’s Will?
In my lifetime I have given thousands of blessings. Yet, I can’t remember, even once, my telling Him what to do or how to do it! I do not believe any human speaks for God. I believe many of us are His tools. I believe that often He tells us what He expects of us but I don’t believe we have the right to tell Him what we expect from Him. I feel many “so called” religious people have become so drunk on their self proclaimed power that some even feel that they are gods within themselves!
Many think that power is granted to them by the robes or crowns they wear, or how they dress, or symbols they show, or the books they quote from, or even the certificates nailed to their walls. To me this is just window dressing. To me all of that is no true mark of “the power.” It’s what comes from their heart into my heart that I look for and all that extra make-up in no way speeds that journey.
I’ve been waiting and it just happened! I heard you say “with all your restrictions how can you give so many blessings?” First; I believe there is a lot of distance between telling and asking! My blessings always start with; if it is Your Will. Then I never take it on myself to tell God what is needed. I’m sure He already knows and He doesn’t need me to remind him! And, with each blessing I always give thanks.
Many of my blessings are silent; they are just between my God and me. I just need my hand on their shoulder or a warm handshake; I try not to make it a public happening. My blessings usually go something like this; “My Father in Heaven, I ask that, if it is Your Will, you will direct the Holy Ghost to show this person’s inner spirit how to deal with the problems of the body. I thank You for bringing this person into my life”.
My life has become much smoother as I’m learning accept more of my everyday challenges as His Will. For years I would ask for guidance and then try to argue about the direction I was being led. It has taken years to learn that if I ask for something, I better be ready to receive it. Because: it may come in a way that is unexpected!
Each day as I learn to accept more of His will, I find it harder to lose my temper, although there are still times when if my button is pushed, I find it hard to back off. I’m trying harder to use these times as learning experiences. The more I learn to accept His Will the more I find my will to be less important. One other thing I’ve noticed; on my road of life I’m finding fewer stumbling blocks!
Today, I find myself more satisfied with what I have. I find that my “wish I had” or “wish I could” list to be much shorter! I know now that it is by His Will that all of the blessings are put into each of our lives! It’s only when we try to change things that have already been written in our “Book of Life” that our lives get messy. Learn to live with His Will because it will be done! And lastly; learn to give thanks for what you have already been given.

I'm Not Worthy

Some friends were at the house the other afternoon and one of the ladies mentioned how she was hurting. I took several minutes explaining to her how I was able to relieve my pains. How I had asked God to show me how and been shown.
Her reply really floored me! She told me; she did not feel worthy! Was she telling me she didn’t feel worthy enough to ask God for help? All my life I have always believed that God was always at my side and those times I felt I really needed His help all I had to do was ask. In my asking I have always included the words “Your Will, will be done. And then, I learned to add one more line, the hard part! I ask for His help in understanding and accepting His Will!
I never considered my worthiness whenever I was talking to My Father in Heaven, I never doubted that He was by my side. Many times I had seen Him answer the prayers of the least among us. Including me! I never believe that my God had a quota on worthy or unworthy folks the day of our birth. I believe that when He created us as humans that He knew each of us would mess-up, some of us many times. But, I also believe we all have been given ways to be forgiven for those mess-ups. I don’t believe there is any relationship between those mess-ups and our relationship with God. If there was, heaven would be a small place!
Several times I have expressed my views, and those My Friend told me, on judging. I believe no human should judge another. And, I believe that this especially applies to that person trying to judge themselves! I have seen many lives ruined or wasted by just that! Have you ever heard the term “inferiority complex?” Is it anything more than one trying to judge themselves? Wouldn’t you like to have the money spent on pills for just that one problem?
In my lifetime I’ve heard many say “I’m not as good as ---“Of course you’re not! Neither am I! But, “I’m better than ---!” And, so are you! Please think about this; that person you’re comparing yourself to did that in the past! And, that’s a past that even they can’t go back into. That’s why they give trophies and ribbons because, even for them, it may never happen again!
I have always believed our Lord had a special place in His heart for all of us “not so greats” because He created so many more of us! If you see someone doing something you would really like to do, set it as a future goal. But, don’t set that first goal too high. Set that first goal a small step. When that goal is reached relish your accomplishment, then set another goal a step higher.
Always remember this; each of us is a Child of God! And, He created each of us differently! Never set a goal for yourself that is so high, that your body is unable to reach your high expectations! Don’t let that unreachable goal cause you to feel inferior. Each body has its limitations.
Try to picture your feelings of worthy, or unworthiness as an invisible hammer that you use to pound yourself into the ground. Take that hammer and put it away in your toolbox of life. Only take it back out when it can be used for something positive down the road. God will let you know when!

Angels In Our Midst

For many years I’ve heard people talking about angels. For many of those years I thought they were talking about those pretty ladies, with wings, dressed in white and sometimes playing small harps. I had seen pictures of them in Holy books but I never met one in real life. I never really bothered to look to hard for one of them because once I looked at those pictures I couldn’t visualize a full grown person being able to fly with such small wings. In other words; I thought those angels were just made up things the artists made up to sell paintings.
It took me more years to change my minds picture of angels. I’ve found that my angels come in all shapes and colors. And, they’re not just pretty ladies. Some are men!
My next surprise was that I had more than one! I’ve heard people speak of their guardian angel, we should think more as our guardian angels. Yes, more than one! I’ve learned that God chooses the one best suited to do what He calls them to do at that time. His time!
That angel could be the person across the street, a best friend, someone you’ve only passed on occasion, or maybe someone you will never know. And I can assure you that they will not be recognizable by their halo or wings. That’s because they are all real people!
Have you ever had something happen and then you thought or said “I’m sure that was meant to be?” Think about this; who meant it to be? And, why was it done at just that time? Have you ever had something happen that couldn’t possibly happen? But, it did! How did it happen? Who made it happen when you couldn’t? I’ve had things happen to me in the past week, that there was no way that I could make happen. Yet they did! Did some angels, under Gods guidance, make them happen when I couldn’t? Could prayers be answered before they are ask? Have you ever thought to yourself; someone must have read my mind? Who do you think that someone was?
God makes some of our angels transparent. They do their deeds and never want to be known. I believe we should give our thanks and respect His wishes.
Angels are a lot like our other blessings, we must learn to open our eyes to see them. As I said before, my angels come in all shapes and sizes. Some come to help us move mountains while others are there to give us that needed touch or say the right words when our needs are greatest.
Of this I’m sure; those angels are always around us. You may find them wearing ragged jeans or five-hundred dollar dresses or suits. Don’t try to look for your next angel for he may not yet know that God has chosen him to be our next angel. But, God knows!

The Best I Can

I’m going to go back in time to make my point, so please bear with me. I’m old! Really old! Somewhere between eighty-five and death! When My Friend first told me to start this blog I had the feeling that My Father in Heaven was pulling some kind of a joke on me.
The second time I was told I realized He wasn’t blowing smoke! He was telling me, Bob, to start a blog! There I stood, almost eighty-five years old and He was telling me to start something that I had no idea of what it was! I felt that throughout my life I had a good relationship with my God but never before had He really told me to do something. He did not ask me to, He told me to!
What else could I do? So, just one month and one day after my eighty-fifth birthday I posted my first blog! It has one of the scariest things I had ever done in my life! Then, I realized if I was to publish a blog I had to come up with new things regularly! And, I thought about all of the worry and sweat I had used to finish that first essay and then I started to worry about finding the subject for that next blog. Then, after I found my subject how was I going to find enough stuff to fill the rest of the pages?
About that time along came My Friend with one more little rock that He placed in my road! He told me that my blog was to be inspirational BUT I was not to use scriptures! The reason being that it would be read by people of all religions. That, after I thought I had most of the worms back in the can!
It was only then that I realized; if my God told me to do something He would also provide me a way to do it! And, I should expect some guidelines as to how He wanted it done.
I have spent much of my life acting as my own efficiency expert, that is, I always looked for easy ways to “just get it done.” At the time of my birth my life’s expectation was sixty-one years. I used up most of those years “just getting it done” and then moving on to the next job!
Never before did I find something that I felt was important enough for me to “give it my best!” This blog has changed all of that. Before, if I picked up a pen, it was just that, a pen. Today when I pick up that same pen I look upon it as a tool full of words and those words are just there waiting for someone to let them out. It seems as though as soon as that pen touches my paper those words start flowing out.
I always look forward to finding the subject of my next blog. I never know what it will be but I know that I will be shown when I need it. The subject for that blog is always given to me unexpectedly as a one line title for my next blog. When I hear that right line My Friend says to me “Bob write it down.” It’s then I have the title line for that next blog!
I print that title at the top of the page. Then, I again read those words. Next I put my pen to the paper to let those words out! All of those bottled up words start flowing from its tip.
I’ve found for me, I have to want to do the best I can before I can do the best I can. And, it feels so good doing it!!!
Oh yes! This is my sixty-third blog and just over a month from now I’ll be eighty-six! My, how time flies when you’re doing what you really want to do!

They Don't Walk My Way

If the rest of the world would just think and walk the way I do, what a wonderful place this world would be. But, they don’t! Maybe I should change that last part to; what a boring place this world would be. Our God sure knew what He was doing when He created us. He made each of us as different as our fingerprints!
Many lives have been ruined by people trying to change others into the person they would like them to be. Before we try to make changes in others we should first think how hard it is to change our image of ourself into the one who we would like to be!
I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve heard parents say; they don’t know what is the matter with their kids. They’re not like them at all! Of course they’re not! God gave them the power to think for themselves! And, that’s just what they are doing!
I’ve also lost count of the times my Grandma and my Mother would first look at me and then say “Bob what on earth were you thinking?” Now, let us look at your kids or grand kids and didn’t you wonder the same thing?
I pride myself in doing things “my way.” And, I resent it when others try to change me! Could others feel the same way? Others may want to, or think they can, look into the thinking parts of our brains but they are still a long way from understanding how it works and how to change our thinking process.
We pay doctors large sums of money to try to analyze and maybe even change our way of thinking but at best all those doctors can do is express their opinions. And, as we know those opinions are subject to change! They can prescribe all kinds of expensive drugs that, also at their best, last until the next new one comes out. Much has been spent on those “mind altering drugs” but it seems to me that there is still a lot to learn.
Millions of dollars has been spent on advertising with the hopes those dollars can create a desire or need. Actually the purposes of each add is to “brainwash” the person reading it! The only reason it is there for you to read is to sell stuff!
Our kids have been bombarded with those high-tech ads from birth. They have been taught to move faster, that a drive-in meal is better than a sit-down meal with their family, that everything is better if it is supersized, that a best friend can live a half world away, and they have been taught to do things differently than US! I’m sure they would like to change us into thinking more like them. But they can’t! We do things “our way”, they do things “their way!” Isn’t that the way God created us in the first place? Do I really want the entire world to think and walk “my way?” I guess not!
I find many of us so set in “our ways” that it is hard to imagine there could be other ways to reach that same goal. Years ago I had a famous teacher tell me there were two ways to reach a goal. There was his way and the wrong way! How many are looking at today’s world but still looking through the same narrow vision glasses he was wearing that day?
Every second our world changes! Many try to keep it like we remember it “back then.” Back in “the good old days” but the younger generation doesn’t have our “good old days” to fall back on or hide in.
We must give others a chance to stumble and fall a time or two. Wasn’t that a part of our learning? Didn’t we learn with each fall how to pick ourselves up?
In prayer we told Him; His Will would be done. His will could be different for me than it is for you! Ask yourself; are you trying to advise or control? There is a fine line between the two but a world of difference! And, we must remember that choice is theirs not ours!

Black Entertainment

This morning I was shocked when I heard two people talking about “Black Entertainment” on a TV talk show. As soon as they started discussing the subject I heard many beeps blocking out many of their words. As soon as the word “black” entered the conversation, it was quickly followed by much profanity! It was only then that I realized both (one was black and one was white) were associating black with profane!
Every now and then I flip to the black TV channel, but I seldom stay there long. It’s so depressing for me to watch people making fools of themselves and their race in the name of comedy and calling it entertainment.
After the many years of tears and bloodshed while fighting for equality it seems to me that today’s trend is to return to segregation by speech, dress, and actions. In my book equal does not mean different!
One of my life’s most proud moments happened while I was helping with a prison ministry. I walked into a group that was talking among themselves, I overheard one of our regulars tell a new member of our group; we don’t use street talk around Bob, he’s better than that! I feel that if you know the difference, aren’t you better than that too?
A person that doesn’t want to be looked down upon must set higher goals for themselves! There’s no way you can always expect someone to do it for you.
I believe that My Father in Heaven is always at my side. I also believe that I never need to use words that would be beeped out on TV in front of Him! Do you?
If you believe that pulling yourself down is the only way you can make a buck or make a statement, so be it. But, don’t pull your entire race down with you! I’m sorry but I just don’t believe lowering one’s standards can be called progress!
I have always believed that successful people should be examples for our kids. With so many of the examples that I see today, I feel it’s no wonder so many of those kids are getting into trouble or are dropping out of school!
I would like to see that word “black” used more as a positive than how I see it used in today’s world as a description for something degrading or shoddy!

A Work In Progress

Today’s essays inspiration was handed to me by a person I had a personal dislike for. That person had a violent temper, in my book he was obnoxious, he was boastful, and everything he did turned me off! Yet, just as I was flipping channels, there he was. And, as it was meant to be and at that instant the person asking questions ask “are you a changed man?” His reply was “no, I’m a work in progress.” There he was, a person I had a great dislike for and he had given me the subject! It was then that My Friend pushed my button and told me to write it down! Never before had someone I disliked given me the subject for a blog! As I’ve said before, I never know where the inspiration for my next blog will come from but I always know it will be there when I need it.
Now, let’s get back to this work in progress! Our Lord has given each of us His two most precious gifts; our bodies and each second of our lives. From our birth until our death we’re always a work in progress. How progressive we want our work to be is up to us.
Our work started years ago when we first learned we could make others smile when we first learned to say ma-ma or maybe it was when we learned it felt better to use the potty than to run around in a dirty diaper!
Our lives are nothing more than endless goals and endless learning. It’s hard for me to understand why older people feel that once they reach a certain number of years it’s time to stop or slow up their learning progress.
Many of our lives goals are set for us by others. That’s fine in the beginning but it is impossible for anyone else to climb into our bodies and our brains and think for us. It’s only we that know the true us and much of the time even we wonder! It’s almost impossible to live our lives while trying to live up to the expectations of others.
Please let me ask you a few thinking questions. Are others happy with your life? Do you care? Are you happy with your life? Do you really care? Do you believe in yourself? Do you believe in God? Do you really believe in God? If not who do you believe in? Do you set goals for yourself? Do you set true goals for yourself? If you set many goals for yourself that you never reach, are you setting your goals too high, or do you just step back and use a limp excuse and never try to analyze why those goals were never met? But, if you never set goals how will you ever know if you get there?
A work in progress never means standing still! As long as there is a breath of life left in our bodies, I will never stop trying to improve that life. God continues to place many blessings in each of our lives every day; many are placed there to improve our life. Possibly one of our goals should be learning to recognize those blessings.
There’s a Hindu prayer that goes something like this;” I pray that God gives me strength to do the best I can.” I think that fits us all. It’s our work in progress, let’s do it the best we can.

Shadows

My friend Bonnie was over the other day. While we were talking she related a story that I feel needs repeating. She told about a small child that came running into his house. The youngster was crying and yelling “it was chasing me!” After quieting the child his mother took his hand and walked back into the yard with him to see if she could find the problem. After but a few steps again the child again yelled and pointed “there it is” It was only the child’s shadow!
That story helped me realize that it was not only small children that were afraid of their shadows. Many full grown adults also had those fearful shadows, the difference was the shadows they feared were something in their past!
They were letting something they had done or something that happened in the past throw shadows on their future. The reason we call it the past is because IT’S OVER! That past, is past! It’s gone no matter how hard we try it’s still gone! We all would like to be able to go back in time and be able to rework something that weighs on us and change it if we could. But, we can’t because it’s GONE; it’s Past! Go backs and re-dos are just our shadowy dreams of “I wish I would have” or “I should have known better.” No matter how hard we try it still ends up gone! Even with all our prayers, its one thing God will not change!
Most religions provide a way for us to be forgiven, but that’s the easy part. The hard part? That’s us, you and me. Yes, God has done his part, now what are we going to do about forgiving ourselves?
If we feel that we’re walking with two shadows then we’re walking with a heavy load. That one on the ground is the friendly one, the one that is always by our side. That one we allow to hang over our head is the heavy one. That’s the one we must let go of!
We live with many memories in our hearts, most are good memories, but every now and then we all stumble. We all know that each of our lives is a one way street with no turn a rounds and that stumble was only a mistake if we learned nothing from it. It is time to turn to the next page in our book of life and go on living for today and tomorrow.
For our child, it was easy to explain and eliminate his fears. For us adults, we find it harder, because many have carried that shadowy cloud over our head a much longer time. And, with that added time we find it easy to build on that shadow and darken it.
When I find myself with one of those clouds that keeps holding back my sunshine, I have a method I’ll pass on to you. I find a quiet place, I sit down, and then I write the problem down, next I read it carefully. When I’m sure I’ve said it all, I crumble the paper, set it on fire and I watch every bit burn. I throw the ash to the wind and ask my Father in Heaven to help me forget it. I find this to be a last resort that works for me.
Each has problems. The difference is the manner each handles them. In time the positive person will find a way to overcome. The negative person just lets it build. I’ve made up my mind; I’m not going to let a few shadows darken my light. This little light of mine, I’m going to let it shine!

You Can Improve

As you know, almost all of my blogs are my version of the subjects My Friend picks for me. And then, He turns me loose! The subject of each of my blogs comes from a single “one liner” that I see or hear. I find that line in many different places. I hear or see that one line, then, My Friend tells me to write it down. I have a mind like a steel sieve! If I don’t get it on paper it’s hard for me to find and pull back up. I always know that is the direction my next blog is to be headed and I know it’s important.
This one is a little different. Each morning we get our daily paper. I scan through and read the headlines. Sandra puts thought in her reading and digests each article. This morning she told me I should go back and read an entire article. The article was about a talk given by Ed Hubbard, the author of the book “Escape From The Box”. This was the first time My Friend used Sandra to point me in the direction He wanted me to go.
One of those “one liners” I would have missed had it not been for Sandra’s close reading was “Everything you’ve done you can improve on.” Boy, that’s pretty strong stuff! It could be anything thing from digging a post hole, landing on another planet, or working on our family life!
He followed that with “The only true mark of someone is the mark they leave on another person.” He told his listeners to look at every day as a GOOD DAY. The quality of each day is in the way WE perceive them. “We have to live each day thinking we can do better.”
Never before has My Friend pointed me in the direction of so many “one liners”! I’m sure you’ll find bits of these in future blogs.
When I started writing these blogs, my worry was how would I ever find the material for that first blog. Remember, it was then My Friend told me to get some paper pick up my pen and start writing! These blogs have turned from total fear to total excitement, from those doubts in me to confidence, but best of all came faith in me and My Friend! I never know what my next subject will be or where it’s coming from but I know I will be told as needed.
I’m going to tell you the process I use for each of my blogs I hope you find it interesting. First My Friend points me toward the “one liner” I am to get my subject from.
Next I pick up my pen and put it to the paper (just as I was told to do for that first blog), then I feel that unseen hand on my hand and I begin to print. Yes, each letter is printed!
After completing each essay I fire up my computer. It’s strange but for each blog I have to first put it on paper and then go to the computer, it seems that’s how my brain works and besides that’s how I was told to do it. As I type out that first edition, it’s still each letter typed with that same one finger. After it’s all printed, out My Friend and I do the first editing. I’m allowed to write my blog “my way” but if I get too far out, we edit it more “His way”. Thank goodness for my Word program for it corrects my spelling mistakes!
After He and I read over and edit the blog three or four times I put on the title and save the blog. Then I call Sandra to do the final proof reading and to resave.
After nearly a well used day, I copy the Word file and then pull up Blogger Dashboard where I paste that new blog. After a few seconds it’s there for you to read.
Sometimes I put it in my future blog file to be used later. When it goes into the future file it gets reread several more times before you see it on line.
Remember, everything we do can be improved on!

My Someplace Else

It was only yesterday that I realized how lucky I was! After talking with many who were always looking for that someplace else and something else and wondering if they would ever find it, it was yesterday that I really knew that I had found that elusive place. And, I was there!
All of my life my desire had always been to see what was around that next corner and over that next hill. I know now I’ve seen everything I ever wanted to see, and more, much more! I now live in one of the most beautiful areas that I’ve seen in all those travels! To be able to live in this beautiful place, my finances made it necessary to live in one of the poorer sections. But, I live here! I live in my someplace else!
Today if I had to write you a check for several hundred dollars I’m sure my bank would reject it. Yet, I feel so rich! My richness comes from the many blessing my God has given me. Counting God’s blessing to me are far more important to me than counting to see if I have one dollar or ten in my pocket.
It’s so unimportant to me that you played golf yesterday with that “important” person because yesterday I walked and talked with God and He gave me many blessings. He allowed me to take the time to look at that beautiful full moon that painted a silver road of its reflection all the way down to our outstanding beaches. If that was not enough, I saw that moon on the way home from fellowshipping with members of my family and three of my favorite musicians. While listening to them they played several of my favorite songs, you may wonder, did I sing along with them? You bet I did!
It has taken me awhile to learn to enjoy the things I have at this moment. Often the joy is lost when that moment is lost. I’ve learned that it is so easy to let that “looking for something else” blind us from seeing what we already have.
God hands each of us dozens of what I call “quickie blessings” each day. But, if we keep looking for only those big blessings it’s easy to overlook those small blessings we tend to consider unimportant.
I’ve learned to look upon all of God’s blessings as important. I think of it this way; if God did not think that each of us was important He would not bother giving us any blessings at all. I have found many of my blessings in unexpected places. I’ve even found them in my someplace else!
God hands us our blessings in many ways. Many times they are handed to us and we never realize what they are. If we continually spend our lives looking for more, we may never find it, because we may already have it!

If I Were You

How many times have we looked or listened to someone and then thought to ourselves or even said to them; “if I were you, I would have?” But, we’re not them! We know that God created each of us as an individual. We are just not like others!
We can tell them (only if they ask) those things we have learned from our mistakes, our learning experiences, but we never should place ourselves as an unwanted buffer between others and their learning. Always remember; if God had not intended for each of us to think and see things in different ways it would have been easy for Him to change us at our creation.
I have looked at my kids many times and then wonder where their thinking came from. Then, I remembered both my mother and grandma telling me that they could not understand where some of my thinking was coming from. I guess, those different thoughts my kids have came from the same place my thoughts come from.
I do things “my way”. You do things “your way”. Our final goal may be the same but our methods of reaching that same goal are far apart. My brain doesn’t work “your way” and your brain doesn’t work “my way”. Often it does no more than confuse me if I’m told to change in the middle of my thinking process and I shudder to think maybe I’m doing the same to others! Many times I’ve found it easier to tell YOU how to do something than it is to explain it to myself!
No matter how hard we try, there is just no way, we can climb into another person’s body shell and try to change or live their lives for them. Right, wrong, or indifferent, there are some things a person has to learn and do for themselves.
Many times I’ve thought to myself and heard others say; if I could live my life over I would-----. We can’t, but if that same situation comes up again, we can take what we learned from it the last time and avoid doing the same thing again. That’s what this thing called learning is all about!
In our lives, we find it easy to look at the mistakes and negatives of others, and then we try to fit their thoughts into our own lives. When we look closely we find our only accomplishment was that of pulling ourselves down! Many times, I’ve heard the phrase, “live and let live”. Maybe it should be changed to “live and let learn”!
If we continually try to live the lives of others, how can we find the time to appreciate all the blessings that God puts in our lives?
If I were you, which I’m not and will never be, then maybe I should work harder on those “if I were me”. O boy! As soon as I put ME under that looking glass I start finding many things in ME that I think need changing!
For one thing; for many years I have found myself with an acute case of “foot in mouth”! Lately I’m trying to take time to think (only an instant) before I let a thoughtless answer pop out. I believe if your question is important enough for you to ask then it is important for to take that extra moment to answer. I’ve learned that so often those quickie answers ended up as hurtful answers. See, I’m learning!
One of the hardest things I had to learn is that sometimes I had to learn to keep my mouth shut and let things happen. It was very hard when it was a loved one that could be hurting themselves! Sometimes letting things happen was the only way they would learn! It took me a while to learn that no one ever said that all learning would be easy! Surprisingly, in my life, I’ve found that some of my hardest lessons to learn were also my most lasting!
Please try to be easy on those “if I were you” and I’ll try to be easy on yours.
Lastly, I believe that God has completed each person’s “Book Of Life” and if He needed a coauthor He would have ask.

Forgiveness

This essay expresses my (Bob’s) beliefs and follows no set belief of any religion! In a way you could look upon this as my disclaimer. The reason for the above is I feel that there are things in life that need to be said and I feel this blog is the place to say them.
This is not a banner waving foot stomping war against sin. For, all of us have sinned! As an afterthought, I have found as many definitions and degrees of sin as there are different religions and also many different interpretations of sin within those religions.
I believe that for any of us to be forgiven, our first step must be for us to forgive ourselves. Many find themselves having done something wrong, that hurt them or others, then they quickly drop to their knees and plead “forgive me Father for I have sinned”. Why don’t they say “I must forgive MYSELF for I have sinned”?
Why always pass the buck to God? God already knows that YOU messed up! How about laying some of that accountability where it belongs? Someplace down my road of life, I learned something about responsibility. Don’t always keep looking to God whenever you need to be bailed out! It was you that got your hands dirty. Shouldn’t it be you that first washes those dirty hands? Then go to your God and ask Him to help you to never do the same thing again.
I believe that one of life’s most important lessons is learning to be responsible for ourselves. We must stop expecting God to come running every time we stub our toe.
We must never feel that we are the only person that ever committed a sin. We all have! The most important part is how we handle our life after it happens! It is important to realize that whatever we did is now in that unchangeable past. Also, you can’t be forgiven for something that has yet to happen!
Lastly, let us take that past mistake and put it in the file called “learning experiences”. You or someone else was burned by that mistake. Now we’re not going to let that happen again. That is a big part of learning to forgive ourselves. It’s only a sin or a mistake if we learn nothing from it.
Being forgiven does not mean that it is completely forgotten. The next time we see that same rock ahead, on our road of life; we will now slow and find a way around it. That’s what our learning experiences are all about. We don’t have to fall over the same rock twice!
Often when we try to hand our God our entire load we find God doing His part but our part stays with us and it can get heavy!

Do Whatever He Tells You

Has God ever told you to do something? Or, maybe I should ask if God ever talked to you? Or, should I just ask if you ever wanted to listen to God? If you are waiting for God to speak to you with a BOOMING voice, you may have a long wait.
Did I just hear you say “I suppose that kook is going to tell me that God talks to him?” If that was you I just heard then you better pick up your mouse and click to another blog because yes I talk to God, and yes, God talks to me!
My God is my friend, in fact one of my best friends, and I talk to Him as I would talk to any other of my closest friends. I never use special words when I’m talking to Him and My Friend doesn’t use special words when He talks to me. I know now that He has talked to me for many years and I know now it has taken me many years to learn to listen. Many walk with Him and talk with Him but many have yet to learn to listen.
Sadly, after I learned to listen, I still found it hard for me to do all He told me to do! Even though the next to last line of my every prayer was “Your Will, will be done”, often I found myself unconsciously telling God the outcome that I expected Him to deliver. I was expecting God to do all of the work and then telling God to do it my way! I had been saying the words but when push came to shove I was ignoring that part where I kept praying about His will!
After I realized what I had been doing it still took time for me to understand that there were other answers than the ones that I had been telling Him that I expected from Him. Believe it or not, humbling as it was, I was brought to the realization that often prayers weren’t answered Bob’s way. They were answered God’s way!
Next, I realized, it was easy for me to listen to the things My Friend was telling me. BUT (again that three letter word was one of the many rocks I kept putting ahead of myself on MY road of life) I found some of the things he told me to do were easy for me to argue with. I might add; these arguments turned into one of my greatest learning experiences, if you want to win an argument, don’t argue with God!
God will never tell you to do something that He doesn’t already know you can do! God’s instructions are always positive. Each time God instructs you to do something, upon completion you will find a better person living in your body shell. Of all the times I’ve tried to argue with My Friend, all have ended with the same result. I always came out on the short end! My only gain? Each was a learning experience!
Today, when My Friend tells me to do something, I have learned to do it! It’s always for my own good!
Many times I’ve walked with My Friend in places that later, looking back, I am ashamed to have been. The many times I have argued with My Friend but never once did I doubt that He was always at my side.
Now I do whatever My Friend tells me to do. I know it is to make me a better me! I hope you have learned to listen to Your Friend because that invisible friend of yours is there to make you a better you!